To think our DSs achievement is a lot down to me?

[Stayinganontoday]

I know it’s all his hard work, but I did a lot of the encouragement on the side.

For context he’s the first in his family to get into uni. His parents just finished secondary school and (and so did the previous generations).

Before I entered his life (he’s technically my stepson) he only aspired to get his GCSEs and go into social care.

Today he got his results and he’s going to a Russell Group uni.

Im extremely proud of him, but I also think he wouldn’t have don’t it without me. So AIBU for being so proud of myself? (and him obviously!)

How can he 'technically' be your stepson?

He either is or he isn't.

@Stayinganontoday
Am being reminded of those lauded jockeys and the racehorses they ride
To my mind,
It's actually the horses who do all the work

She’ll be the young man’s father’s girlfriend.

making HIS achievement about yourself- nice one!

She refers to his dad as her husband in a later post 😳

Christ you’re smug.

I have every confidence that you are conveying this left right and centre to all.

Well done to your step son.

You say 'of course I won't ' OP but for some people it doesn't go without saying. Speaking as someone whose mother still refers to 'our GCSE's/A levels'.

Yes she helped me revise, and remember certain things with memory tricks etc. She was also v generous in helping me financially at uni so I didn't have to work to cover my rent (I still worked, but it was fun money, which was lovely). But It leaves a bitter taste that it's never felt like my achievement, always hers bi-proxy, even if that's her way of showing pride somehow. I'm nearly 40 and she still brings it up in front of her friends.

YANBU to feel really proud of him and the role you've played in encouraging him.

I suspect it’s more to do with the “a lot” in the title, which grated on me as well, I have to admit. That’s pushing it. There’s no denying though that OP’s input and involvement DID have an input.

You checked his coursework? So - he cheated then?

It’s what we mums do, isn’t it. Support and nurture our children to do their best.

While yes you feel you helped, this is HIS achievement and its incredibly selfish of you to try and steal his thunder. Quietly pat yourself on the back but don't muscle in on his celebration.

YANBU to be proud of having helped him so much. Well done! YABVU to call him technically' your stepson. He's your stepson, unless he has a technical birth mother now.

YANBU

Although as everyone else has said do keep it to yourself!!

It's perfectly normal to feel a sense of pride when you help someone achieve something. I hope all the teachers who have helped all the kids getting their results today feel a similar sense of pride . And the parents and the tutors and the nannies. There's nothing wrong in feeling pride in work you've done.

Well done, horray?!

He did all the hard work tbh - you just did the thing we all do called parenting!

Give over.

Let’s be honest here , not everyone does it. Either due to lack of ability or interest.

You sound insufferable Op tbh

If it's good his her stepson if it's bad his not anymore 😂

I think it's normal to feel proud and feel you helped in some way.

When my eldest got straight As mil said he got his brains from my bil ( her favourite son) the fact I have a degree was glossed over.

Now bil kid has not done so great I can joke she get her brains from dh.

My eldest would have done well even if I shit and disinterested parent. My 18 year old I did play a massive part in getting him into right SEN school to get a A and B at A level but the hard work was 100% on him. I just kept him alive.

What silliness.

I’m sure several of the adults in his life supported him to reach this point in his development. Much of which would have been before you “bonded” with him.

Why do you feel the need for your part in his life to be validated as the key driver above all others? Just be proud of the lad for his achievement.

What do you think would happen if the horses were to be let loose to run around a course without jockeys?

That's the fate of hundreds of thousands of teenagers every year. Lacking parents who have an interest or the ability to support them, and lacking schools with the ability or interest in spotting potential and encouraging it, the result is kids leaving for dead end jobs after GCSEs.

Schools need to step up.

I'm with you OP - I think you should be proud!

There are enough posters on MN who clearly regard their step-children as no more than a nuisance - anyone who has succeeded in building a positive relationship should be congratulated.

This is parenting though - my especially older two have need huge amount of support - later turned out I was right they had ND/SEN.

At time there was lots of cristism for doing it then later everyone forgets it or dimissed it or it's viewed negatively. Took huge amount of effort research and finding money for and frankly stopped me getting back to work as early as I wanted.

That what you do - I suppose it's less expected of a step parent standing up and putting that level of effort in - so perhaps it feels more foreign but ultimatley it is their acheivements and you have to be proud of that.

😂😂😂