To think our DSs achievement is a lot down to me?

[Stayinganontoday]

I know it’s all his hard work, but I did a lot of the encouragement on the side.

For context he’s the first in his family to get into uni. His parents just finished secondary school and (and so did the previous generations).

Before I entered his life (he’s technically my stepson) he only aspired to get his GCSEs and go into social care.

Today he got his results and he’s going to a Russell Group uni.

Im extremely proud of him, but I also think he wouldn’t have don’t it without me. So AIBU for being so proud of myself? (and him obviously!)

Why do you need to muscle and demand a share of your stepson’s achievement? Surely the reward for you is seeing him flourish.

Yanbu because of course 'parental' type input can hugely influence outcomes for teens. But keep it to yourself 🤣, it's his day.

Unless you sat the exams and did the revision this is his achievement
let him enjoy HIS moment

you can feel proud

Ick

Nothing wrong with feeling proud of yourself but I probably wouldn’t go around telling people incase it looks as though you’re trying to make his achievement about you. I do agree with you though that your support may have had a lot to do with it.

Really?

Get over yourself.

Yes, you deserve to feel proud of your input and how it has helped -
But keep it all inside …
to voice this would be raining on his parade
and
appear sour -
don’t do it !

This is weird to me , my childs achievement is them not me or their father it is not about you its odd thinking

Yes, of course I won’t!

but I’m the one who sat with him to write and revise his personal statement.

I’m the one who sat with him doing mock interviews.

plus, I also sat with him checking a lot of his course work too. One of his A levels is on what I have my MSc in.

You can feel a silent happy glow thst you have made a positive influence in his life but keep it silent.

I have a relative who always claimed her children’s successes as hers and their failures as entirely their own. It’s not a good look.

What’s wrong with going into Social Care? Plenty of “Russel Group University” alumni are working in crappy jobs, or no jobs at all.

Find something you love, and do that .. otherwise you are just another person with a shedload of debt

Probably not a good idea to talk about checking his coursework...

It’s him. It’s his glory. He did the graft.

You might have presented the concept of striving for more but he had the self belief, the work ethic and the effort to get there.

If you try to grab some of it then that’s pitiful of you.

Same here, and my relative couches it as OP has with 'is a lot down to me' and it makes them look like an absolute dick.

Nobody knows how I feel apart from MN, his dad, and my mom. His dad (so my DH) is grateful for all the extra support.

I couldn’t imagine being this vain let alone posting about it. No parent in the history of my family has ever bigged themself up and basked in the glory of the achievement of a child. We parent in the background.

Would you have blamed yourself if he’d flunked his exams OP?!

FFS let him have his achievement for himself.

You sound like my toxic "but I paid for your music lessons" mother. She has always made everything about herself. She can't stand it when anyone else gets attention, even her own children and grandchildren.

Good point

Grow up. All you did is a bit of parenting 👏 👏👏

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.

Yes you’ve encouraged but if he really didn’t want to try and apply himself, he wouldn’t have.

This is his accomplishment, let him have it.

Yeh I worked with a woman like this. Her son was terrified of her expectations as he existed purely to show her in a good light. When he gained a 1st class degree she said to me “that’s because of me isn’t it”. I could’ve stamped on her face. I knew the son would have to listen to that over and over. Not normal

Yes it was all down to your superior parenting. You should write a book about how you are so much better than anyone.
I do hope your DH takes you out to celebrate, leaving your step son at home to ponder why he isn't such a great self starter as you.

Of course not 🤣 all failures are his she only wants the good so she can brag like she's doing now 😊

Its called parenting.