Boring eater

[Curious77]

Am I unreasonable to hate that my partner is a boring and bland eater? It really pisses me off that a man in his 50s ( met 6yrs ago) avoids any foods he is not familiar with!
he watches all my food programmes with me and oohs and aahs at the food, but in reality, he would unlikely try any of it.
i find it incredibly frustrating, and to coin a phrase I hate but seems perfectly apt… it gives me the ick!
he thinks houmous is hippie food, and pate is posh!
why do I want to shake him? Is it me? Am I a snob?

My oh is v fussy. Eating out with his family is a nightmare cos they’ve all got food issues. I just ignore it.

I couldn't date him.
Is there any give at all there?
If not, then enjoy interesting food with friends and don't make it a central part of your relationship if he's great in other ways.

Why does it matter what he eats?
Does he demand you eat the same or make comments about what you are eating?

Im not being snarky BTW. It is something I genuinely cannot understand. Why does someone care what someone else chooses to eat if that person is not trying to make you eat the same thing or making comments about your food choices.

Its just food. Chew it, swallow it, get on with your day.

I wouldn't be attracted to someone like that. I love food, so having someone making the experience worse would be pointless.

What does he cook for you?

It would matter to me because I love all kinds of cuisines, especially Asian food. I would hate to be with someone who only eats at Wetherspoons.

I wouldn’t have got past the second date. Huge turn off.

It reminds me of some eighties ad for veggie burgers when this was a new concept, with a sort of desperate housewife chasing her dopey husband around the house as he looked terrified by the concept of non-meat burgers and kept bleating ‘But with me chips?’

Ditchable offence.

Yanbu i have an adult relative like this and its a pain in the arse if we're trying to book meals or have takeaways, Christmas dinner, bbq ect. I definitely couldn't live with her.

Can you not see what an issue this is. Let's go out for a meal - oh I don't like anything on the menu. Let's order a Chinese - oh i don't like Chinese. Lee and Sarah have invited us round for a meal their making a curry- oh i don't like that. We going to parents for Christmas dinner- oh i won't eat any of that. Do you honestly think this wouldn't cause any issues in your relationship

I suppose it depends if it impacts on your enjoyment of food.

I have ARFID which means I eat a very restricted diet but it doesn't impact my DH or DS who are very adventurous and love all kinds of food.

What does he eat? Could he have hos food plain and you do something more interesting with yours, eg chicken?

Are you sure about that

It doesn't have to though. I won't eat Chinese or curry but that doesn't mean other people can't!
I find people are really bothered about what other people are eating instead of just focusing on themselves.

100% sure. Why would it?

Because either we leave you at home every time we go out for a meal, or we have to eat somewhere that caters for your preferences.

Because it effects others how can you expect Lee and Sarah to cook you something different. Ordering a Chinese is fine if their are a few of you but its not as easy ordering one for one due to not being able to have a mix of food and not meeting the minimum for delivery. People refusing to eat when everyone else is, is the equivalent of going out with a friend for a few drinks and they sit their with a glass of water.

Or I come along and eat if there is something I like or I don't eat and just enjoy your fabulous company with a drink!
I have never, ever made anyone choose a restaurant because of my issues.

But i bet they do it naturally without you realising. Because thats what family does

My DP lives off plain chicken, mild cheddar and fruit. It causes no issues. If I want a Chinese I order one. If I want to go for dinner at Lee and Sarah’s I go. If he goes out for a meal on occasions he can’t miss it he’ll sort out what he’s having, usually something plain, and eat as little as he likes. It doesn’t affect me.

I'm not much of a fussy eater but I'm not fussed about food so am a pretty boring eater. The thought of food doesn't excite me, I don't care for eating out, I eat to live. Dh is a lot like me and tbh it would probably irritate me if he was expecting me to get excited over a sandwich or whatever so I can see why your dh might irritate you. You can't change someone though so either take him or leave him.

Well for example it would make a difference to what sort of restaurants they could visit together. It would also mean that separate meals would very often have to be cooked. For some of us, sharing meals is an important part of a relationship.
Its not an insurmountable problem, but it definitely would ‘matter’ to me if my husband ate a very limited diet, because it would change some of the things I like to do in a relationship.

Respectfully, having one person at the table not eating, or picking at a plain naan, is a real downer for everyone else involved.

Same! I’m not that bothered by food and eat a “boring diet” that suits me. If I eat out, I usually find something on the menu. It’s always other people that seem to have an opinion on what I’m eating!

(It would suit me if you could just take a pill a day and get all your nutrients from it!!)

I totally disagree. A person who wants the same food, day in, day out and won't try anything new is incurious, has a limited imagination and a fixed mindset. I couldn't live with someone like this either its so basic and limited.

You don't have to love everything an you don't have to eat out all the time and there's nothing wrong with liking staples. But unwillingness to try anything new is a crime.