Boring eater

[Curious77]

Am I unreasonable to hate that my partner is a boring and bland eater? It really pisses me off that a man in his 50s ( met 6yrs ago) avoids any foods he is not familiar with!
he watches all my food programmes with me and oohs and aahs at the food, but in reality, he would unlikely try any of it.
i find it incredibly frustrating, and to coin a phrase I hate but seems perfectly apt… it gives me the ick!
he thinks houmous is hippie food, and pate is posh!
why do I want to shake him? Is it me? Am I a snob?

I'd never sit there with a glass of water!

I'd never ask Lee and Sarah to cook me a special meal. If they happened to be cooking something I don't like i'll eat before I arrive. Thankfully my friends value my company and understand I have an eating disorder and it's not personal to them. They don't care what I do or don't put in my mouth.

In my 44 years I never encountered that issue with takeaway.

I wish I could eat like a normal person but I have an eating disorder and it's just not going to happen. I have worked very hard to hide it or make sure it doesn't impact others.

That sounds miserable to me if I get a chinese firstly I want it delivered so I don't have to fetch it and I like bits of multiple things. If a couple invite us round for a meal I would like to go with my partner and not be a third wheel. If we go out for a meal I don't want my partner ordering nugget and chips of the kids menu.

Yeah, people who are fussy eaters say that. But it doesn’t work in reality. There’s nothing worse than trying to enjoy a nice meal when someone is there not eating anything. It really ruins everyone else’s enjoyment of the meal. Eating is a shared, social pleasure, it’s not just a personal thing.

It really isn’t. Most people are enjoying their own food and the conversation and wouldn’t have a clue what anyone else is eating.

If I understand correctly you’ve been with him for six years?

Presumably he’s been like this for six years? He isn’t moving any goal posts.

If food and trying new things is important to you, you really only have yourself to blame.

But this is about op partner not you and he doesn't have an eating disorder.

Respectfully that's your issue though? If the person picking at a plain naan is happy then it being 'downer' for you is just you projecting your love of food onto them. Not everyone cares about food. They would be just as happy eating a plain naan as they would eating a Michelin starred meal. It's not about the food to them it's about the company.

It really isn't for lots of people.

It might be for you, but it's always important to remember that your experience isn't everyone's experience.

I'm quite an adventurous eater, but I couldn't give the smallest shit what anyone else is ordering! If you want a plain Naan and some chips, crack on! Doesn't bother me at all.

A crime? or an eating disorder!

This is all so insulting.
I'm am so adventurous in pretty much all aspects of my life but I have a phobia or food. I'd love that not to be the case but i can't fucking help it.

But if one of the things you enjoyed in life was going out for nice meals with your partner (as is the case for me) then can’t you see that it might cause an issue?
DH and I like good food. We like going out for meals. We save up and go to Michelin starred restaurants all round the world.
We also cook together. We like finding new recipes, cooking them and eating them together.
I probably wouldn’t knowingly start a relationship with someone who had a very limited diet, because it would prevent me from doing a lot of the things I enjoy doing in a relationship.
And that’s fine. People can choose to not have a relationship with someone for any reason whatsoever.

No but ( as usual) people are makign sweeping assumptions about people who aren't adventurous with food.

I got the ick on a date when we went to a Turkish restaurant and he pulled out his phone and started googling the 'exotic' ingredients... bulgur wheat. It wasn't so much that he wasn't familiar with the food, it was the suspicious side eye he gave everything, even the salad was scrutinised.

I'd even offered that HE pick the restaurant/cuisine but he specifically said, 'You choose, I'll eat anything'. PLEASE.

I don’t think the OP has said that her partner has an eating disorder though?

But we're not talking about someone with an eating disorder or a food anxiety.
There's no indication that this is the case with OP's husband: she says he enjoys watching food programmes.

Excluding specific anxieties I stand by what I say. A person without food-related neuroses who won't try anything new on principle is just boring and unimaginative.

It's something I could tolerate in a friend with other food qualities but being able to enjoy eating a reasonable variety of food with a partner is non-negotiable to me.

Respectfully, this is your issue. If your friendships are dependant on what they put in their mouth then you need new friends.
Focus on your own food and let others eat what makes them comfortable.

No as usual people are making it about themselves instead of the person actually asking the question.

I disagree.

I often eat out with different groups and we usually ask each other what they have ordered and if they are enjoying their meal.

YANBU It would drive me nuts. Me and OH love trying new foods/places to eat and enjoy everything food related.

Do you think the millions of people living alone never get Chinese? Why would it mean you can’t have it delivered? I don’t think not having one extra dish makes much difference to the variety.

I couldn’t care less about being a third wheel. If we were socialising together we’d just ask if they wanted to have drinks.

He could order caviar or chicken nuggets and neither would make the blindest bit of difference to me because I’m not eating them. He wouldn’t have chicken nuggets though, they’re not plain enough.

It would bother me as well op, but it's whether he has other redeeming qualities?

No but (as usual) people are makign sweeping assumptions about people who aren't adventurous with food.

For some people food and personality have become interchangeable which is ridiculous.

For the whole night? That's a couple of mins of conversation surely?

I don't know where you live but near me we have a minimum spend for delivery

But the thread is about the OP and her partner? In the absence of an eating disorder, this would absolutely bother me for the reasons I’ve mentioned in the thread already.
And that’s ok. People are allowed to be bothered by different things. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone with a very limited diet as it would prevent me from doing the sort of things I like doing with a partner.