Boring eater

[Curious77]

Am I unreasonable to hate that my partner is a boring and bland eater? It really pisses me off that a man in his 50s ( met 6yrs ago) avoids any foods he is not familiar with!
he watches all my food programmes with me and oohs and aahs at the food, but in reality, he would unlikely try any of it.
i find it incredibly frustrating, and to coin a phrase I hate but seems perfectly apt… it gives me the ick!
he thinks houmous is hippie food, and pate is posh!
why do I want to shake him? Is it me? Am I a snob?

Its not necessary to be “interested in food” in the sense of being a foodie.

But someone who has no interest in trying new things in any category, whether that be food or music or history, has a limited imagination and isn’t willing to challenge themself. Which to me is boring.

I dated a really picky eater once and it was fine when we were in our normal weekly routine, but weekends away were an absolute nightmare. We'd spend HOURS walking round trying to find an acceptable restaurant as his diet was so limited and hardly anywhere was right for him.

That's what the fridge and freezer are for, leftovers.

My DH has quite a restricted diet. He doesn't get excited by food and prefers things plain and beige. I love lots of different cuisines with lots of flavour and colourful veg, pulses etc. He eats meat, I don't. He's improved a bit since we've been together and will try some things but usually won't like them.

It drove me potty at one time but I made my peace with it some time ago and accepted that I either eat what he does (minus the meat) and don't always enjoy it or I cook two separate meals most of the time so that I can eat what I like too. It can be quite frustrating trying to decide what to cook that we'll both eat! At least he acknowledges that it's difficult for me sometimes and will always say thank you for his meals and never moans if I can't be bothered and we just have a sandwich!

I will add that I'm 95% certain he's ND (as am I) which makes it easier to accept that it is what it is. He also only has one arm which is why I do all the cooking, it's just easier and quicker!

So how do you go on holiday then. My husband and I have travelled all over the world. Experienced so many different cultures, eaten the local foods. I can’t imagine going to these local restaurants is something you can do unless you sit there and watch or eat bread or see if they can cook for you seperately

very few people want to go to a restaurant and have their partner sit and watch them.

we also eat out a lot, well every couple of weeks, all types of cuisine, Indian, Thai, Philippino, Korean, Greek, Mexican, Italian, Spanish etc etc how do you negotiate this?

What do you mean how do I go on holiday? I go on holiday in the same way everyone else does. What a ridiculous question.
I’ve travelled all over the world. It’s literally my job. This year alone I’ve travelled to Japan, Hong Kong, and India. Next month I’m booked to go to Thailand, Malaysia and Indonesia. There’s also a potential Vietnam trip either in December or January.
If I struggle to find something to eat in a restaurant I’ll still order something and eat what I can or my DH and DS will eat some of it (if we’re travelling together) but DH has no issue being the only one eating if that’s the situation.
When I travel for work I’m often on my own so I’ll eat at the hotel. Food is only one aspect of travelling and I love exploring the culture and history of various places.

Having no interest in food doesn’t mean you never leave your house 🙄

Has OP told us yet what her husband eats?

I asked ages ago.

No. It doesnt. We all like different foods in my house so we all make what we like, when we are hungry. When we order a takeaway we order from different places because we like different things.

If my husband didnt want to go out for a meal I wouldn't care. If he didnt want to order a Chinese id just order for myself. If he didnt want to go round to Lee and Sarah's for a curry id go there by myself and im sure it would be lovely. Or, since im assuming they are our friends and they know what hes like, I could say to them can I bring a pack up for captain particular and we'd all have a laugh about it and he'd come, eat his sandwich and enjoy the evening. Parents for christmas dinner he could sit there with his hand in the quality street all day for all I care.

When i host christmas i make about half a dozen different dishes so everyone has what they love. Mum has a cheese pie. My bil has sausages, my sister has lamb, husband loves beef etc etc.

It just doesnt matter from a consuming food pov. In my opinion that is. I understand that it is a big deal for a lot of others because they place value on eating as a shared social experience and apparently one person having a bowl of chips while everyone else eats, I dunno, ostrich burgers or something ruins the experience.

I can see how it would if chip eater was sat there going ew urgh revolting and making retching noises but if they are just enjoying the company and eating something they like I dont see why it matters.

As an aside, I now really want to try an ostrich burger.

Being enthusiastic about great food is a non-negotiable for me, as a lack of enthusiasm is symptomatic of a wider issue.

Symptomatic of what?

Of a wider issue

Such as?

What is the wider issue?

I would find this frustrating too, and would be unlikely to be in a relationship with someone like this.

It's not just about what you eat but mindset and not being open to new experiences. It's like people who don't want to travel. Each to their own if people want to eat only a few foods or never leave the country, but it just wouldn't fit with my lifestyle and approach to the world.

I love food and trying new things, and learning how to cook different cuisines. My family are all foodies/chefs, it's an important part of how we socialise and things we share in common.

Why does not liking food mean you aren’t open to new experiences? Why is food the benchmark?
What new experiences have you had this year? Perhaps we can compare notes to see if that plays out in reality?

Hi, he eats baked potatoes primarily or anything comfort/ nursery food. Basically what his mother made him in the 80s! Which is also delicious, but his rigidity and lack of curiosity piss me off

That’s not very specific, tbh.

Ok calm down, it’s not that deep! I think it describes perfectly old school British meat and two veg type meals! But if you want a list I can provide!😂😅

My son’s nursery had its own chef and their food was very varied! 😂

The wider issue for me is curiosity about the world.

I don’t respect people who never want to challenge themselves or learn new things; to me it’s symptomatic of a dull, limited intelligence and a sense that change is frightening which I find really off-putting.

I wouldn’t expect someone to eat different cuisine every night or spend tons of money on it or only eat really edgy or exotic food. I find foodies a bit tedious. I am very relaxed about people knowing what they like and eating their favourite meals. I do this a lot.

But someone who steadfastly refuses to try anything new ever under any circumstances is choosing to limit themselves in a way I find inconsistent with having an open mind. Its not limited to food: I wouldn’t want to spend time with someone who never wanted to go abroad or never wanted to read a book or try a new game.

The wider issue for me is curiosity about the world.

Why are some people assuming a lack of curiosity about food equates to a lack of curiosity about the world?

I don’t respect people who never want to challenge themselves or learn new things; to me it’s symptomatic of a dull, limited intelligence and a sense that change is frightening which I find really off-putting.

What does that have to do with food?

I wouldn’t expect someone to eat different cuisine every night or spend tons of money on it or only eat really edgy or exotic food. I find foodies a bit tedious. I am very relaxed about people knowing what they like and eating their favourite meals. I do this a lot.
But someone who steadfastly refuses to try anything new ever under any circumstances is choosing to limit themselves in a way I find inconsistent with having an open mind. Its not limited to food: I wouldn’t want to spend time with someone who never wanted to go abroad or never wanted to read a book or try a new game.

I find your comments really narrowminded. You are making assumptions about people based on one single characteristic - a restricted diet.
Just because someone doesn't want to try new food doesn't mean they don't have an open mind. Who decided food was the benchmark for open-mindedness?

I'd be interested in what new experiences all the posters who claim that restrictive diet equals boring and lack of curiosity have undertaken this year. Lets compare notes and see whether your theory plays out in reality or if it's just you making assumptions about people.

No, you’re all right. I’ll manage without it somehow.

It sounds like some restrictive eaters don't have realistic expectations about going out for meals with others where they aren't willing or able to eat with them. A lot of people wouldn't invite the restrictive eater again. It would be like taking a friend to the theatre and they spend the whole time on their phone, you wouldn't do that with them again.

It's nothing like that at all.

Perhaps if people focussed on their own meal and left those with restricted diets to manage what they put in their mouth then everyone would be happy.

But a lot of people aren't happy to do that.