Page 11 | Boring eater

Curious77 · 2026-08-12T13:07:10+00:00

Am I unreasonable to hate that my partner is a boring and bland eater? It really pisses me off that a man in his 50s ( met 6yrs ago) avoids any foods he is not familiar with! he watches all my food programmes with me and oohs and aahs at the food, but in reality, he would unlikely try any of it. i find it incredibly frustrating, and to coin a phrase I hate but seems perfectly apt… it gives me the ick! he thinks houmous is hippie food, and pate is posh! why do I want to shake him? Is it me? Am I a snob?

MickyMoonshine · 13/08/2026 19:27

BunnyLake · 13/08/2026 19:23

I don’t recall calling anyone stupid?

Show quote history

You didn’t but others have. I was explaining why I’ve responded to this thread because you seem to have an issue with it.

MickyMoonshine · 13/08/2026 19:30

BunnyLake · 13/08/2026 19:14

I haven’t been in this particular situation but if I was then yes I would like to think I wouldn’t be obnoxious about it. Whether I saw if the relationship had legs would depend on other factors too.

But to be honest I wouldn’t have a relationship with someone who had ‘issues’. My mum had an eating disorder and my ex was an alcoholic so there is nothing left in my tank to deal with someone’s issues if it impacts negatively on me in any way.

Edited

Show quote history

Nobody is saying you have to be in a relationship with someone who has food issues. Quite the opposite.
Likewise I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone who was always trying to get me to try new food or tried to make me feel bad for eating just my chosen foods.

Like you say, it’s just about not being obnoxious about it. I don’t think that’s a difficult ask.

RampantIvy · 13/08/2026 21:35

Thepeopleversuswork · 13/08/2026 17:04

But we are talking about the OP’s partner! Of course she would know if he had a medical condition!

Look I am not going out of my way to judge people I don’t know based on their diet. I’m not an idiot: I understand that there are things which limit people’s diets.

I am saying that if my significant other, in the absence of a medical condition, chose never to try new foods, I would consider it very limiting and frustrating. I don’t understand why I am being hauled over the coals for giving this perspective (on an anonymous forum) on the off chance that it might offend someone who has a rare food related condition. Its AIBU, not s special thread for people with food anxiety.

Its a bit like saying I should never talk about my love of music in public in case there’s a tone deaf person reading or listening. This is a discussion forum, this is literally the purpose of this board.

Why can’t you allow me to have my own preferences without tying everything to your very specific food condition which has no relevance to me whatsoever?

Show quote history

Too many people on this thread are missing the point.

I like food. I like trying new things. I have friends who see food as fuel. That's fine. When we eat out I just let them get on with it and order what they will enjoy, and I don't comment on their food, nor do they comment on mine. I like cooking. I wouldn't want to be cooking two different meals every time I cook. I like eating at the local Indian or Thai restaurant with my husband.

What I don't want to do is eat at the same place every time we go out because that place is the only place someone I am with will eat at (I'm looking at you SIL. She doesn't have an eating disorder, she is vegetarian and doesn't like most "forrin muck", but she will eat Italian at least).

The point of this thread is about sharing enjoyable experiences. For some people who like music it will be going to gigs, people who like hiking might want to find a partner who also enjoys hiking, someone else might like wild camping and wants to share a tent with a like minded partner. It's all about doing something you enjoy with someone you enjoy being with.

RumbleHoney · 14/08/2026 00:52

Gosh, this has become very heated!

OP, I voted YABU as surely this was obvious from the outset. Why have you stayed for 6 years if it’s that much of a problem?

echt · 14/08/2026 01:03

RumbleHoney · 14/08/2026 00:52

Gosh, this has become very heated!

OP, I voted YABU as surely this was obvious from the outset. Why have you stayed for 6 years if it’s that much of a problem?

This. The premise of the thread is baffling.

@Curious77 has given no details about how her partner's preferences inconvenience her, though many posters have jumped in making assumptions about exactly this, just that she doesn't like it.
Given the lack of information, it's none her business what her partner eats and if it gives her the ick - why so long to realise this?

Bin him if you don't like it. He won't change, and why should he?

Sorted.

CoffeeBotherer · 14/08/2026 01:26

Couldn't do it. This week I'm cooking Indian x2, Chinese x2, paella, pasta, and plain salmon. But I've always done it like this so my partner would have needed to adjust early doors. I'm not sure how you've got to your state.

I'm not a monster, I will tone down the amount of chilli and I don't use cayenne (they're reactive to it) but all other spices stay full strength.

Bikenutz · 14/08/2026 01:28

Fussy eaters and people with eating disorders are going to have an increasingly miserable existence in the future as climate change affects the cost of foods. So keep in mind that he will get grumpier if he is unable to expand the range of what he will eat.

Original poster

Curious77 · 14/08/2026 02:05

echt · 14/08/2026 01:03

This. The premise of the thread is baffling.

@Curious77 has given no details about how her partner's preferences inconvenience her, though many posters have jumped in making assumptions about exactly this, just that she doesn't like it.
Given the lack of information, it's none her business what her partner eats and if it gives her the ick - why so long to realise this?

Bin him if you don't like it. He won't change, and why should he?

Sorted.

Edited

Show quote history

Oh dear! I really seem to have upset some people! It was my first post on here, and to be honest it was just a general curiosity if others have the same issues ats me ! Obviously if it was a deal breaker then I would not be with him, but it can grate on my nerves is all I was saying!!But from the response of some people on here, it’s been taken way too seriously and people need to chill and not worry their heads so much! You didn’t have to agree with me obviously, but why the bitterness? Just chill, and live your life without mumsnet vitriol!

OP posts:

BunnyLake · 14/08/2026 08:18

MickyMoonshine · 13/08/2026 19:30

Nobody is saying you have to be in a relationship with someone who has food issues. Quite the opposite.
Likewise I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone who was always trying to get me to try new food or tried to make me feel bad for eating just my chosen foods.

Like you say, it’s just about not being obnoxious about it. I don’t think that’s a difficult ask.

Show quote history

The OP’s thread is about her partner, who she is in a relationship with. I think you’re losing track of what the origin of the thread is.