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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you think of this message from someone you slept with?

271 replies

Arsenal25 · 09/08/2026 21:27

5th date last night, ended up back at mine and had sex. Have really enjoyed his company and green flags galore up to that point so it felt natural. This morning, he text to say how much he enjoyed last night and wants to see me again (he suggested a date idea). I replied agreeing and discussing potential dates which work. He then referred to last night and said ‘shame its not Cheltenham racing this time of the year as you would be a great jockey’. I played dumb and asked what he meant, he said he was just joking. Is that an acceptable joke for you because it feels a bit seedy for my liking?! But I do think a lot of him from dates so far.

OP posts:
BakewellGin1 · 10/08/2026 08:36

OP I am pretty sure he is saying he enjoyed the sex and you being on top.

Honestly poor bloke is trying to have a joke and everyone is making him out to be weird and seedy.

In no way would I presume he was criticising you like some have suggested.

If you enjoyed it then great, carry on seeing him and enjoy getting to know him.

Just because the majority on here seem to want a boring man without any humour and none exciting sex doesn't mean you have to expect that.

Enjoy

BakewellGin1 · 10/08/2026 08:37

OP I am pretty sure he is saying he enjoyed the sex and you being on top.

Honestly poor bloke is trying to have a joke and everyone is making him out to be weird and seedy.

In no way would I presume he was criticising you like some have suggested.

If you enjoyed it then great, carry on seeing him and enjoy getting to know him.

Just because the majority on here seem to want a boring man without any humour and none exciting sex doesn't mean you have to expect that.

Enjoy

BadLad · 10/08/2026 08:40

If you do end up dumping him, make sure you use some horse puns or jokes.

I’m not that much of a jockey, mate - you’ve fallen at the fifth hurdle.

MyDeftDuck · 10/08/2026 08:41

Perhaps he was hoping you might respond with ‘well, you are hung like a horse’!

OtterlyAstounding · 10/08/2026 08:49

I don't think it comes across as degrading or belittling of you, which is the important thing, just an awkward compliment. So I'd not be bothered if he's otherwise great and all green flags.

Perhaps you could carry on the horse analogy and it can become your 'so-bad-it's-good' in-joke 🙈 Or just gently discourage it.

LumpkinPumpkin · 10/08/2026 08:50

BakewellGin1 · 10/08/2026 08:37

OP I am pretty sure he is saying he enjoyed the sex and you being on top.

Honestly poor bloke is trying to have a joke and everyone is making him out to be weird and seedy.

In no way would I presume he was criticising you like some have suggested.

If you enjoyed it then great, carry on seeing him and enjoy getting to know him.

Just because the majority on here seem to want a boring man without any humour and none exciting sex doesn't mean you have to expect that.

Enjoy

Agreed.

Can’t see what all the fuss is about personally. Was it the cleverest joke in the world? No. But it wasn’t disrespectful or offensive. DH and I say far more vulgar and silly things to each other every day!

CinnamonBuns67 · 10/08/2026 08:53

It's a bit cringey but not a dealbreaker

SuePer · 10/08/2026 08:58

It's just cringe isn't it. Is it his actual attempt to have some sexy banter?! It's a 0/10 from me.

B9waiting · 10/08/2026 09:03

Ick for me.

louderthan · 10/08/2026 09:04

I think my immediate reaction would be to be flattered. I dunno. It’s just a very cringe way of saying you’re good in bed.

Beingseenisneedy · 10/08/2026 09:07

XiCi · 10/08/2026 07:24

I think you need to have a similar sense of humour though, and that joke was just total cringe. Almost like it's from one of those chat up lines books. Someone I can laugh with and that makes me laugh is up there in top 5 attributes I'd want in a partner but that joke just isn't funny, and it makes me wonder if hes one of those socially awkward people that constantly make crap jokes which would be the end of the road for me.

Show quote history

It is funny to some as PP have said.

Clearly not to OP who let him know and he left it. So no harm done.

StarlightLady · 10/08/2026 09:07

I certainly wouldn’t be offended. I would have a little giggle and tell him he needs to work on improving his jokes if he didn’t want a smacked bottom. 😀

Imdunfer · 10/08/2026 09:10

comofn · 09/08/2026 21:34

If was a joke a bit of fun. Yeah cringe but nothing major. Take as a compliment 😂

It was a compliment!

Imdunfer · 10/08/2026 09:12

"I'll bring my whip next time and use it if your compliments don't get better than that!"

Tollington · 10/08/2026 09:21

Just take it as a compliment and chill out. He liked the way you were riding him when you were on top. It’s just some mad bantz

Strawberrymilkshakez · 10/08/2026 09:25

It’s a bit of a shit joke, but I think it’s meant as a compliment hence the word “great”.

Emeraldforest · 10/08/2026 09:28

Ask him if he'd care to elaborate

cupfinalchaos · 10/08/2026 09:29

Bit tasteless.. I wouldn’t like it.

comofn · 10/08/2026 09:31

Imdunfer · 10/08/2026 09:10

It was a compliment!

Edited
Show quote history

yes! Saying she’s good at riding. Lighten up love

SuePer · 10/08/2026 09:33

LumpkinPumpkin · 10/08/2026 08:50

Agreed.

Can’t see what all the fuss is about personally. Was it the cleverest joke in the world? No. But it wasn’t disrespectful or offensive. DH and I say far more vulgar and silly things to each other every day!

Show quote history

Saying vulgar and silly things is fine. This is a Mr Bean style clanger.

DrMorbius · 10/08/2026 09:34

Personally I think he was trying to find a way to complement you and to say he enjoyed it, without going all Shakespeare.

Additup · 10/08/2026 09:37

I'd take that as a compliment OP 😉

mulberrymilk · 10/08/2026 09:38

DrMorbius · 10/08/2026 09:34

Personally I think he was trying to find a way to complement you and to say he enjoyed it, without going all Shakespeare.

Went all Benny Hill instead.

I would be massively off-put.

SuePer · 10/08/2026 09:58

DrMorbius · 10/08/2026 09:34

Personally I think he was trying to find a way to complement you and to say he enjoyed it, without going all Shakespeare.

Really? Some women would like the praise for their 'riding' skills, some of you think this is sexy and would simp and giggle over it 🤮.

Eyelashesoffire · 10/08/2026 09:59

Wildegeese · 09/08/2026 23:56

It's a lame joke but it wouldn't be a deal breaker. He had a good time!

And it sounds like he's champing at the bit to see you againGrin

🤣🤣🤣
I couldn't get worked up about this if everything else was ok. If you really don't like the joke then just reply and tell him that's a terrible joke! Dh would occasionally tell some bad jokes when we got together, nothing sleazy, I'd just tell him it was a terrible joke. We've been together for over 20 happy years. There's so many dreadful men out there, is a crap joke really where you draw the line?