What would you think of this message from someone you slept with?

[Arsenal25]

5th date last night, ended up back at mine and had sex. Have really enjoyed his company and green flags galore up to that point so it felt natural. This morning, he text to say how much he enjoyed last night and wants to see me again (he suggested a date idea). I replied agreeing and discussing potential dates which work. He then referred to last night and said ‘shame its not Cheltenham racing this time of the year as you would be a great jockey’. I played dumb and asked what he meant, he said he was just joking. Is that an acceptable joke for you because it feels a bit seedy for my liking?! But I do think a lot of him from dates so far.

Can't believe people saying this is a deal breaker! It's clumsy but meant as a compliment. There are much cruder ways he could have put it

It’s stupid and awkward … if you like him, you might have to just accept stupid and awkward attempts at joking. Not the worst thing in the world.

It wouldn’t bother me in the least. But whilst I love some intellectual wordplay I also don’t mind a bit of daft joking about.

It's just a joke. Obviously you were on top. Meh.

A lot of men do tend to have deeply unsexy ways of talking about sex. They’re just really bad at it. Not a deal breaker, though.

Christ, no wonder so many women can’t keep a relationship until their late 30s and then start panicking they can’t have a family.

If you don’t like this OP, and need a bunch of strangers to tell you whether or not you’re being ridiculous, I’d part ways now. He’ll not be able to get anything right if you’re stressing about something like this.

I’d reply, I had fun too!

Hi @Hankunamatata, I just wondered if you meant "racey" as in naughty/sexy, or if you were keeping with the theme, and meant "racey" as in horse racing!?! If you meant both, then that was a great intended pun 😄

I think it’s fine

Should have done him one better with a reply about him being hung like a horse🤣 bit cringe but as post-coital compliments go he could have done much worse, yabu

I would find it disrespectful in such early days of the relationship.
It may be a type of back handed compliment, or it maybe the type of joke immature blokes giggle with their silly mates about.
Either way he’s not exactly putting any effort into trying to woo you.
If he’s not very gallant and respectful at this stage in your relationship I would feel it doesn’t bode well for the future.

It was a bad attempt at humour. I wouldn’t find it funny. Say it to him so he knows where your line is.

God they can't help themselves, can they?
It's WAAAAY too soon for that kind of "jokey banter"
If my DH had said similar to me after we'd been together for a year or so, I'd probably rib him for being such a dork. But 5 dates and the first time having sex? Nope.
He's badly misjudged this. I'd be put off too.

He’s saying he’s a stud.

It's clumsy but well-intentioned flattery that shows he is very happy about the monumental thing that just happened to him.

Cute. 😁

Would get a laughing emoji from me.

Might even be another green flag. He texted the next day, with no games, and hasn't got the James Bond patter down, all of which suggest he's probably not a serial womaniser.

Definitely not a deal breaker. I'd have smiled at the compliment personally.

When your response played dumb, he said he was joking. He realised it wasn't where you were at and moved on.

That's a green flag to me.

He obviously liked you having the whip hand.

I suppose it's horses for courses but there aren't really that many smooth options if you are going to refer to the deed. Thank you for our wonderful lovemaking session? Our joyous coitus? In the end, there isn't much dignity to be found in the whole business and bad jokes can easily creep in.

Cringe after 5 dates. Hope he's in his twenties.

Agree, sad when you can't even joke with your partner, yes, even after 5 dates, you should be able to laugh about such things, not post a thread about it.

Especially when it's been good so far and he backed down when you didn't find it funny.

He'll be treading on eggshells in such a relationship, which is a shame.

Irrelevant to the OP and this isn’t a personal attack on you, I understand what you’re saying and don’t disagree per se, but I really hate how ppl can use chatGPT to do stuff like you just mentioned. Authenticity and genuine creativity is rapidly going out the window and now anyone can use it in conversations with other ppl without that person knowing it’s come from a robot and isn't actually them.

All the ppl in the early stages of relationships reeling the other person in with their warmth, wit and intelligence are doing so by deception and it makes me really uncomfortable that it’s being used so frequently when ppl are negotiating big issues like relationships, disputes in friendships etc when it’s widely known how biased it is. But the use of constructing actual dialogue and passing off as your own I find scary. Sorry to derail.

It was a silly joke, a bit juvenile but certainly not a red flag.

and honestly you were mean playing dumb and deliberately trying to embarrass him - that’s the real red flag.

Most texts referencing enjoying sex the night before would be slightly cringe - you’ve got to find your level with a new partner and I’d much rather a jokey compliment rather than a formal missive regarding my heaving bosom or some such other cringe.

I think you need to have a similar sense of humour though, and that joke was just total cringe. Almost like it's from one of those chat up lines books. Someone I can laugh with and that makes me laugh is up there in top 5 attributes I'd want in a partner but that joke just isn't funny, and it makes me wonder if hes one of those socially awkward people that constantly make crap jokes which would be the end of the road for me.

It’s an attempt at humour. It’s sex related so I suppose it’s inherently vulgar and juvenile, and it’s not massively funny, but I wouldn’t be ending an otherwise perfectly good dating situation because of one ill-conceived joke that didn’t land. Just tell him you didn’t like it.

Indeed.