Aibu to send my son to school in non uniform

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My ds is due to start secondary school in September he is going into year 7 I’m on benefits at the moment due to anxiety and depression after leaving a 18 year abusive relationship I have four other children who are in college and one ds works and is going into the army in November hopefully,as you can imagine I have around 73 pounds a month left after rent bills shopping etc is paid I am hoping to get back into work soon but at the moment my main priority is myself and my dc mental health,So as mentioned my youngest ds in due to start secondary school the uniform will cost around 200 pounds he also will need a winter coat,I have applied to the council where I live but they said they are running extremely low on second hand uniform and don’t have any of the uniform my son needs they were kind enough to give me a pair of trousers and 2 shirts as that’s all they had ,I have applied directly to the school but have heard nothing back would I be unreasonable to just send him in the trousers and the shirt and maybe a plain black jumper?would I get into trouble for this or would my son?I have looked on fb but there’s nothing I don’t no what else to do I also don’t know how to approach the subject with my son he has severe social anxiety and I’m worried he might try and refuse school I honestly feel like such a failure.

YABU. The reasons are irrelevant. He would absolutely get into trouble for not attending school in full uniform.

I would post on the local FB page and ask if anyone has any spare uniform for that school. Then on the first day back (staff inset) go in and ask for advice. He won’t need a winter coat yet.

Can the son that’s working not buy a jumper - what else do you need? Presumable if he’s living with you his outgoings must be quite low even if he is only on minimum wage.

Have you asked on Facebook? I think this would be better than sending him to school not in the correct uniform.

There's a charity called Acts 435 who might be able to help? I've donated to them quite a lot, they are a national charity but work on a local basis.

https://www.acts435.org.uk/how-we-work/find-help/

Ask on your local Facebook page - you can do it anonymously - someone will have some. Better old than not having the uniform on the first day.

I have put up a few posts already on Facebook but yes I will definitely go in to the school on the staff inset day thank you for the idea

If you are in Wales there is a school essentials grant which includes school uniform.

Contact the school and explain the situation. They should have spare uniform they can lend until you can buy some. He'll be nervous as it is, without feeling like the odd one out. You could also ask your local Facebook group for spares.

Are there any free/cheap uniform schemes in your area?
They are often run by local community groups. This time of year they often do a pop-up event in shopping centres etc.
I recommend looking on local Facebook groups to see if any are advertised or put a request out to see if anyone has any they can pass onto you.
Edit: I see you have looked on Facebook already.
Definitely try to find out if there's a uniform exchange in your area.

Join the school’s FB page for Y7 and ask if there’s a second hand uniform page.

Check your local charity shops too as I used to take my dc’s too small uniform there.

Football boots can be bought cheaply off EBay/FB/Vinted.

Can your working ds loan you some money?

Do not send your son in the incorrect uniform on day 1, as that won’t help his anxiety and will mark him out. School staff might not be checking emails atm but they’ll def be in in the days before term starts. You could also pop in on exam results days, as staff will be there then, and that gives them more time to help.

id imagine shoes will be the biggest expense - Vinted and charity shops x

He is on a zero hour contract so some weeks he is not even getting hours but he does help me out when he can

What else do you need for his uniform because it sounds like you’re almost there. I take it he needs a school tie and school shoes, is any of the uniform needing a logo or a blazer? I’d post on the schools Facebook group - there are usually parents looking to pass on uniform that is outgrown.

In terms of will he be in trouble, it depends on the schools attitude, my DS school would pass on any essential kit from lost property etc and would expect it to be worn.

Yes that’s what I’m planning I. Doing now go in on the inset day shoes coat and blazer are the main costs the blazer is nearly 40 pounds on its own

Have a look to see if there is a school uniform bank near you UK School Uniform Bank Directory | Pre-Loved Uniform Resources

This ^ and it should have been done in the summer so he was kitted out ready to start in September.

Our local charity shops tend to sell school uniform very cheap at this time of year. Obvs, this is dependent on the donations they receive.

Our local charity shop has a special rail of shirts, trousers, jumpers & ties, ie requisite uniform items for the 2 schools in our town. All are very reasonably priced & of course the money goes to a good cause. Might there be charity shops near you doing likewise?

Contact the school OP. In my school, we will provide the entire uniform, including shoes, bag, pencil case, stationary and coat if a parent needs it - all free of charge.

Ring them, also email. Although emails aren’t routinely checked over the holidays the head teacher and safeguarding team will be in on the 19th/20th August for certain.

Edited to say it may also help to let them know you’re a struggling family. It doesn’t get widely shared, but for instance, our struggling families we will send food hampers home over the holidays, provide vouchers and Christmas presents, arrange for free tuition of core subjects and provide areas where technology can be used if internet or screens aren’t accessible at home.

@IbizaToTheNorfolkBroadscross posted - great minds think alike!

Thankyou for the link

Also I don’t think it will be anything like £200, so try not to worry. Secondary Schools can only have 4 branded items (and that includes the tie).

have you been on their website and looked at their criteria for helping families with low income ? May give a name of the member of staff you need to talk to.

Ok I will do that thank you very much ,do you no of all schools help or does it depend on there policy

Absolutely this. I advertised on our local FB page and got the branded PE kit needed for school (DC has outgrown old ones). I also have smaller sweatshirts I'm giving away which I've posted on there. If no one wants them, I'll take them to the charity shop in the precinct near the school.

I can't afford to buy new uniform and by being organised and posting about it early, usually manage to get some either free or very low cost (£1 per sweatshirt) from the charity shop.

But yes, the inset day is a good idea too. There will be stuff in lost property and even one set will avoid him being in trouble on his first day. Be very blunt and honest with them about your financial situation because there may well be other help available to support you. Our school doesn't give out free uniform unfortunately. Not all schools are that good.