Aibu to send my son to school in non uniform

[FastMintSheep]

My ds is due to start secondary school in September he is going into year 7 I’m on benefits at the moment due to anxiety and depression after leaving a 18 year abusive relationship I have four other children who are in college and one ds works and is going into the army in November hopefully,as you can imagine I have around 73 pounds a month left after rent bills shopping etc is paid I am hoping to get back into work soon but at the moment my main priority is myself and my dc mental health,So as mentioned my youngest ds in due to start secondary school the uniform will cost around 200 pounds he also will need a winter coat,I have applied to the council where I live but they said they are running extremely low on second hand uniform and don’t have any of the uniform my son needs they were kind enough to give me a pair of trousers and 2 shirts as that’s all they had ,I have applied directly to the school but have heard nothing back would I be unreasonable to just send him in the trousers and the shirt and maybe a plain black jumper?would I get into trouble for this or would my son?I have looked on fb but there’s nothing I don’t no what else to do I also don’t know how to approach the subject with my son he has severe social anxiety and I’m worried he might try and refuse school I honestly feel like such a failure.

also check online for when the office is open, ours has set hours over the holidays when you can reach them, don't leave it to the day before school ooens

So you’ve got shirts and trousers, a blazer is £40. Get the next size up so growing room. Get some school shoes from shoezone, order online as bigger selection even if there’s a store near you. Free next day delivery on all orders. Coat, I picked up a fleece lined rain coat from mountain warehouse for £15, they went up to age 13. They’re nice, and honestly the boys at my DDs secondary tend not to wear coats in winter anyway. I have no idea why! But a lined rain coat might be enough as he might only wear if heavy rain anyway. And if not…. That’s a problem for further down the line. George might have some too.
Then I assume there’s a tie which won’t be much. Plus a PE kit…. Again shoezone for the trainers. Buy what you can from George.

Why have you left it so late to try contacting the school etc? The uniform isn’t a surprise

Anxiety and depression is no reason to not be working , you are purposely putting yourself and your children in this financial situation, it is massively unfair on your children, you need to get a job asap

Check the schools uniform policy on their website. It might detail ways they help families to afford uniform for new starters. For instance our school offer new year 7 starters who receive free school meals a £50 voucher towards uniform costs. Check if there is anything like that detailed on there?

To add, sort the main uniform now. Shoes blazer and tie. Guessing tie isn’t more than £5 so can be done for £55. Talk to school about PE kit when they’re back in office

I can still claim child benefit for mine until 18 while at college,unless they are under Sen and can get the benefit for longer

You can't do that as he would get into trouble on his first day.

Also though, you can't magic money out of thin air.

Contact the school, see if they can offer any help with uniform. Our local schools PTA's sell second hand uniform that has been donated.

It is a sad position that you are in, and hopefully the school can help somehow.

Other PP have had some great ideas as well.

The uniform rules in the UK are so draconian and backwards thinking!

If you lived here in Ireland, the teachers wouldn’t care that his uniform isn’t quite perfect.

DS 17yrs (autistic) hates wearing shirts so he wears a white round neck t-shirt under his school jumper and school haven’t ever pulled him up on it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sorry that you’re stuck with this shit. Hopefully, the school will be sensible. 🤞

Ask at your local church or food bank. They are likely to have a network of volunteers who live locally and might be able to source 2nd hand / free uniform

If you do buy the plain blazer, it is worth keeping the tags on until you know the school sell the badge separately. Not all schools offer this. It is an excellent way of saving money when they do offer it.

There will be a contact email address on the school website. Emailing this will ensure it is forwarded to the right people. It is also worth phoning the office as some schools have some admin staff in during the last couple of weeks of the holidays. Some schools allocate part of the pupil premium budget towards uniform and you would qualify for this support while on benefits. It is a good idea to reapply for free school meals to ensure your child is offered all the support they are entitled to.

Is there a Facebook page for the school? If yes, it is worth posting on it that you are looking for second hand uniform and the sizes you need.

Not to mention picked on for “being poor”. Children are brutal OP. This won’t be fair on him and you need to get his proper blazer/jumper. Could you ask on Facebook? There’ll be others in the area who have children at that school who will have outgrown their uniform.

I just looked on George. You can get an actual coat for £18. Might be worth this over the rain coat I mentioned earlier.
The £55+ 18 takes you to £73 for his main uniform plus coat. PE kit you can talk to school… but that’s him set up for first day.

Agree , he won't need a winter coat either at the start of September.
I wonder if the LEA can offer advise too if you get no reply from the school.
But whatever you do don't send him without a uniform.

Not sure whether it has already been mentioned, but there will be staff in school this Thursday morning and next Thursday morning for A-Level and GCSE results days, so maybe you could pop in then to speak to someone.

I’m guessing the shoes are plain black no logo? I think as long as you stick with this then get them as cheap as you can, then focus on the tie, blazer and PE kit. As others have said, there will be someone in the school from around mid-August, and look on local facebook groups. You may find somewhere in your local community that does uniform swaps (where people can hand in those outgrown and they will sell them on cheaply).

Coat can wait a few weeks. Also, can you just buy the school badge to sew onto a plain (cheaper) sweater/blazer? Some schools do this. If they have to wear a blazer, then you won’t need a sweater as well for the first week in September. At DS school blazers weren’t compulsory, but I think they tend to be now at most schools.

Piffle. My husband was incapacitated by it. Lucky you haven't had to witness this in a loved one. It isn't being a bit nervous or a bit sad.

You’re full of compassion. There’s plenty of time to get sorted out for schools in England.

Really NOT helpful . But then you were just trying to be mean weren’t you? Does putting other people down make you feel better about yourself?

I'd also ask the school, or local church, if they could help with stationery. He'll need a calculator and pens etc so it's worth asking as those small costs really add up!

Please don't send your son in incorrect uniform for his first day at his new school. Even if the school are understanding and he doesn't get into trouble for it, he will stick out like a sore thumb. That would be hard for any child, but extra hard for a child with severe social anxiety.

• Ask the school about uniform
• Look at second hand uniform banks in the area, we have a big one that does all the schools in the area
• Ask on FB (try to find a school parents group) about second hand uniform

Go in on results day. There will be office staff in.

I would contact the school again shortly before the term starts. I think they will help. Asking on local FB groups is also a good idea.

He will get picked on. I got send to secondary in a boys blue blazer when I should have had a girls black one. My life was hell til I left the school in y8. Don't do it to your kiddo.