Aibu to send my son to school in non uniform

[FastMintSheep]

My ds is due to start secondary school in September he is going into year 7 I’m on benefits at the moment due to anxiety and depression after leaving a 18 year abusive relationship I have four other children who are in college and one ds works and is going into the army in November hopefully,as you can imagine I have around 73 pounds a month left after rent bills shopping etc is paid I am hoping to get back into work soon but at the moment my main priority is myself and my dc mental health,So as mentioned my youngest ds in due to start secondary school the uniform will cost around 200 pounds he also will need a winter coat,I have applied to the council where I live but they said they are running extremely low on second hand uniform and don’t have any of the uniform my son needs they were kind enough to give me a pair of trousers and 2 shirts as that’s all they had ,I have applied directly to the school but have heard nothing back would I be unreasonable to just send him in the trousers and the shirt and maybe a plain black jumper?would I get into trouble for this or would my son?I have looked on fb but there’s nothing I don’t no what else to do I also don’t know how to approach the subject with my son he has severe social anxiety and I’m worried he might try and refuse school I honestly feel like such a failure.

It shouldn’t cost that much as they aren’t allowed to have lots of branded items. Buy plain stuff as much as you can. Try speaking to the school directly because they may have second hand items or funds to help struggling families. Some food banks/charity groups do uniform sales also. You could also ask on school facebook and PTA groups if anyone has things to sell or pass on.

You cannot send him in with no uniform! Can you imagine how he would feel?

Looking at your posts here, I think it's really important your son gets a decent education - please prioritise it.

It’s outrageous that a state school demands such high priced uniforms and doesn’t have a well run second hand option that new parents are informed of before term starts back. I’d be livid.

Have you checked the school's website to see whether the school have a scheme to help low income families with uniform costs?

I will definitely sort something out a few people have gave me good ideas and links

Another place to ask could be the local church. They might know who coordinates the 2nd hand uniform collections in your area.

I wouldn’t worry too much about a jumper for now, September is likely to still be warm.

Make a list of the absolute essentials he will need for September (tie, shoes etc) and focus on that. Get a food bank referral and use what would you have spent on the food on the school essentials.

Post on Facebook etc as others have said. You say your working son helps out when he can - can you come to a bit more of an agreed amount with him e.g 20% of earnings?

Yes that’s a great idea thank you

Speak to your local Citizens Advice, as they may be aware of local charities and can help you with a grant application to them - they should also be able to help you with income maximisation and get you on cheaper social tariffs for utilities if you aren't already on them, which could free up some money for you (I volunteer with Cit A and our area certainly does this, so I'm hoping yours will too). Some local authorities offer hardship grants as well, so it might be worth having a look at your local Council's website.

Also do you have any family who can help - parents, siblings etc

Usually there is a pre-loved uniform sale prior to or around the time school starts

Our local (state) secondary when DS started there was loads of 2nd hand uniform- blazers jumpers mandatory PE kit items

Please don’t send him in non-uniform as this will mark him out from the very first day

Look on your local Facebook groups for parents who have children starting at the school, there is so much 2nd hand uniform around!

Our local charity shop refused a donation of barely worn uniform the other day. Really frustrating.

If OP's son was coincidentally going to that school, I have the full lot she can have.

It’s a bit tricky with my son as he is on a zero hour contract but he has said he will help when he can

No you can't do that. You child would feel awful.
Use the £70 you have left to buy a shirt, trousers and blazer if you can and then once he starts speak to the school.

We have a local charity that gives secondhand uniform to families in need. I make sure we always send our stuff there.

You’ve got time to sort it. I’d see if your school has a fb group or second hand uniform group. Then post anonymously the situation you’re in and pm anyone who gets back to you. I’ve got lots of second hand uniform I’d love to give away from my ds to someone in need.

also second those who suggested emailing and ringing the school. Just be really honest with them. Good luck, op.

Also do not worry about a jumper right now- I’ll be for the colder months and pretty sure it’s not mandatory, it would be bonkers esp with an ongoing heatwave which may well go on til September!

Ask locally, there’s bound to be someone with old uniform. There are multiple people where I live offering uniforms currently. A coat won’t be necessary until October and that can be second hand or supermarket own brand

Phone the school. They will help.

Please contact the school, email now and somebody might pick it up, I’m almost certain that they will find a way to help you. Is there a parents FB page for the school? Ours always has loads of uniform being given away on it, if you posted even anonymously and explained the situation I’m sure people would offer things that they were getting rid of. Even if you just had one complete full set then you could just keep washing it for now. I hope that things improve.

Unfortunately the way schools are now, especially academies, he will get into trouble. You don't want his new school to start with detentions, sent home etc, it may stay with him during his whole school experience. I don't think this is right btw, to punish kids or to have such expensive and strict uniform rules.

Around here there is a whole store of donated school uniform, it pops up a couple of times a year. Is there anything like that on FB groups that you can find? Some councils too have little grants they can give, so worth a call there too. Other than that, please do try to get the basics.

All schools will help but the extent of it will vary. Our school is in a deprived area so we go above and beyond to ensure equality for all pupils, including providing free breakfast for all pupils and free fruit and water throughout the day.

It would be dependent upon families donating old uniform rather than binning it or putting it on Vinted, etc.

If nobody donates blazers, ties or jumpers, it's impossible to sell or give them to anybody, whether that's during termtime when there are staff actually working or the Saturday after the last payday before term starts when the uniform suppliers have queues stretching down the road and half the stuff is out of stock.

This. Because it’s preemptive and you have told them your situation in advance of the school year, Schools will be understanding and most likely have one spare to give him on the day. or be able to purchase one for you for the start of September. I recommend emailing his year leader and his new tutor (you should have the names and emails of both by now). Most schools will have at least one Inset Day before term start so they will be able to see your email and arrange a child for your blazer or at least be aware he will be coming in without proper uniform.

Lots of good advice already. On the school shoes do his ones from last year still fit? If so use them at first.