AIBU to complain after a bus driver shouted at me and my children?

[Buscomp]

My DC and I very rarely use buses, however with the free travel this month I decided it might be a bit of a novelty to use local buses a little. I asked for tickets for all of us on the first two buses we got on but the drivers said “the kids are free” and let us on, so the next bus I didn’t mention them and just paid for myself assuming this was ok, that driver said nothing.

We boarded a bus together this afternoon and I did the same thing- paid for my ticket and started walking to find a seat. I then heard a commotion behind me so turned around and my 14 yo DD was saying “mum you need to come sort this”. I walked back to the front of the bus and the driver immediately started aggressively shouting at me. He said “your kids need free tickets, they can’t just get on, they were so rude to me as well, can tell how they’ve been raised, why would you just walk on? You need to acknowledge the driver- how dare you do this” etc etc.

Me being me, pretty non confrontational and calm, just apologised profusely for the misunderstanding and if anyone had appeared rude. I explained other drivers hadn’t given me free tickets so I didn’t realise this was necessary. He just said “well it is,
now take them” and printed them…

I said sorry again and feeling shaken, walked back up to my DC. I then overheard him bitching to another passenger about teenagers causing a raucous on the buses and how they shouldn’t be free etc. I assume he’s had a bad time with teens but mine were with me and also silent for the duration.

I decided to speak with him again before we got off. I explained how sorry I really was, that we didn’t use buses often and the other drivers hadn’t given us free tickets so I just didn’t realise at all. He then explained it’s for insurance purposes and I said ok that makes sense, thanks for clearing it up and sorry again. He didn’t stop though and started telling me I needed to “sort my kids out” and “they were rude and shouldn’t treat people like that”. I looked at DD confused and said I’m sorry I didn’t realise they’d said anything to you, I’ll have a word with them now and thank you then got off.

DD’s told me all that happened was the driver shouted after them “OI YOU TWO GET BACK HERE NOW” and they turned around confused and said what? Then they called for me, that was the whole interaction. Given the way he spoke to me, a fully grown adult, I’m inclined to believe them. Should I complain to the bus company? My heart was racing and I was shaking, I haven’t been shouted at like that for many years and just don’t expect to be. It’s certainly put us off using buses again!

What the hell was his problem. I have younger kids but never knew that kids travel free means you actually need a ticket for that. Maybe he thought your kids were much older. Either way he was out of order saying about how they were raised

He was very out of order. But saying that, I would always expect to have to get a bus pass or a ticket for a child, even if free, unless they are pre-schoolers. The tickets are so they can monitor the numbers of people travelling.

Drivers are overheated with no access to toilets on their routes and so aren’t drinking water. Yes he was aggy but it is rude to just waft past the driver.

Don't complain. What would it achieve? He thought you were rude, he overreacted. Don't dwell on it.

Kids are always free in London and we never have to get a ticket we just get on

You should have had your kids in front of you, so you could have verified if they were rude, and got the free tickets at the time if those are the rules, not just marched off first.

But it's hot, he was grumpy, they may or may not have been rude, don't let it put you off, just do it differently next time.

Don't waste the opportunity for free travel!

That’s because London buses don’t issue tickets.

Thanks all. I understand he’s probably had a tough week with it, with teens getting on and causing a nuisance. Also acknowledge I should have made them walk in front but we did all get on together at the stop so I guess I just assumed he’d know. I did apologise as I say for the ticketing misunderstanding.

So you didn’t even hear when the bus driver shouted after your kids “oi you two get back here “

so he was really raising his voice becuase you were so wrapped in your own little bubble ?

I’d complain, he sounds aggressive and I’d have felt shaken too.

Yes sorry it’s been a really long day and I was a bit away with it, just wanted to get to a seat. We left at 6am today and had a busy one! I heard a bit of a commotion behind but didn’t realise it was the driver or anything to do with us at first till I heard DD. As I say though, driver has probably also had a long day/week and I was as kind as I could be afterwards to him.

I complained when a bus driver upset my daughter but I doubt anything happened as they don't tell you the outcome of the complaint

I think men who shout at women and children (or anyone vulnerable) are amongst the lowest of the low tbh

Sounds like you handled it extremely well and very calmly though, so well done you.

They were rude if they didn't say hello to the driver. Tourists like you who don't use public transport, expect all year users to subsidise them and the kick up a fuss are the worst. You'll have delayed everyone else on the bus by making such a fuss and not supervising your children. It's not inexperience, just basic manners and common sense.

I didn’t expect anyone to subsidise me? I paid for myself and would have paid for DD’s ordinarily but they’re free this month- the government chose to do this. I pay taxes like anyone else.

Bus drivers in my experience are either the nicest people who would do anything for you, love talking to and working with people, or they're the spawn of satan. Doesn't seem to be a middle ground.

Some bus drivers are arseholes. You did nothing wrong OP.

I have worked with people before in various settings who believe that if they know something, so should everyone else, even though they spend eight hours a day doing what they are doing and the customer or client is there for the first time. I think its because they are a bit thick. It was often rolling their eyes at people who didn't know where the toilets were.

I have also found a small subset of bus drivers (not all, most are lovely) who are incredibly argumentative. One got in a strop because apparently my return ticket wasn't valid from X when I tried to get the bus back, even though I had asked for a return to X and it had got me there fine. She was incredibly pompous and argumentative and confusing, and I was going to report her but the internet failed when I tried to send the complaint and I could not be arsed to type it all in again. There have been other incidents.

Whilst unnerving for you I'd let it go.

Besides Bus Driving generally being quite stressful for low pay given their responsibility for safely transporting people on unforgiving roads amongst a plethora of selfish and unsafe drivers; the 'free novelty' bus passengers now abound to add to the mix.

Whilst not a great user of buses myself, when I do, I at least acknowledge the driver when I board and thank them when I alight. Basic bus etiquette.

Did your kids not acknowledge the driver? It is polite to say hi when you get on the bus rather than just stroll on like you own the place.

Edited to say he shouldn't have shouted even if you were rude and failed to acknowledge him.

I actually think you handled it really well. Also I think your children were a credit to you.

You stayed calm, you made your case. Right you didn’t convince him, you didn’t need to, you are not in control of his behaviour but you did stay true to yourself which is always a good thing.

I’d let it go for your own sake because he sounds like he will learn his lessons in life else where, if indeed he does learn them, but again that is not your problem. Your job is to learn your lessons and today’s lesson is that sometimes people behave like complete arseholes for reasons that have nothing to do with you.

He sounds like a knob end.

I've got busses for years and had literally no idea that you were supposed to say hello to the driver. I've been taught to say thanks when getting off but never hello when getting on.

Even if it is rude then so what? It's not like they were being aggressive or threatening and you'll still get paid without a greeting. Bus drivers are there to do a job and should just get on with that.

Eh, what are you on about? The only one kicking up a fuss and delaying people in this scenario was the aggressive arsehole of a driver.
All he had to do is say “excuse me, you need free tickets before you sit down” then simply hand the tickets over and drive on once passengers are seated. Its really wasn’t difficult, it was a choice he made. Or maybe he’s just a bitter man who is lacking in all self control. But either way, it was still his decision to cause a problem.

You sound like you have a massive chip on your shoulder and I have no idea why - how dare people use buses occasionally? 😂 What??

This was my thinking too. If he’d just said “excuse me” to DD’s and then said “you need free tickets to get on” with a nice tone, totally different story. I just think there’s a way to speak to people and that isn’t it.