AIBU to complain after a bus driver shouted at me and my children?

[Buscomp]

My DC and I very rarely use buses, however with the free travel this month I decided it might be a bit of a novelty to use local buses a little. I asked for tickets for all of us on the first two buses we got on but the drivers said “the kids are free” and let us on, so the next bus I didn’t mention them and just paid for myself assuming this was ok, that driver said nothing.

We boarded a bus together this afternoon and I did the same thing- paid for my ticket and started walking to find a seat. I then heard a commotion behind me so turned around and my 14 yo DD was saying “mum you need to come sort this”. I walked back to the front of the bus and the driver immediately started aggressively shouting at me. He said “your kids need free tickets, they can’t just get on, they were so rude to me as well, can tell how they’ve been raised, why would you just walk on? You need to acknowledge the driver- how dare you do this” etc etc.

Me being me, pretty non confrontational and calm, just apologised profusely for the misunderstanding and if anyone had appeared rude. I explained other drivers hadn’t given me free tickets so I didn’t realise this was necessary. He just said “well it is,
now take them” and printed them…

I said sorry again and feeling shaken, walked back up to my DC. I then overheard him bitching to another passenger about teenagers causing a raucous on the buses and how they shouldn’t be free etc. I assume he’s had a bad time with teens but mine were with me and also silent for the duration.

I decided to speak with him again before we got off. I explained how sorry I really was, that we didn’t use buses often and the other drivers hadn’t given us free tickets so I just didn’t realise at all. He then explained it’s for insurance purposes and I said ok that makes sense, thanks for clearing it up and sorry again. He didn’t stop though and started telling me I needed to “sort my kids out” and “they were rude and shouldn’t treat people like that”. I looked at DD confused and said I’m sorry I didn’t realise they’d said anything to you, I’ll have a word with them now and thank you then got off.

DD’s told me all that happened was the driver shouted after them “OI YOU TWO GET BACK HERE NOW” and they turned around confused and said what? Then they called for me, that was the whole interaction. Given the way he spoke to me, a fully grown adult, I’m inclined to believe them. Should I complain to the bus company? My heart was racing and I was shaking, I haven’t been shouted at like that for many years and just don’t expect to be. It’s certainly put us off using buses again!

This

A few weeks ago,I was crossing a very quiet road on the zebra crossing

I'd looked both ways before stepping out just as a bus came hurling around the corner (it is a bit of a blind bend but he certainly didn't stop/look)

He had to put the brakes on sharpish when he saw me

He leant out of the window and shouted 'MOVE OUT OF THE WAY YOU STUPID BITCH!FUCKING SLAG!' before giving me the finger

He's known for it apparently-he seems to hate women and a few days ago,tried to pull out when dp had the right of way on another road,he came within an inch of him hitting us (we got the ranting and another middle finger)

He drives so dangerously but the company don't seem to care

Some bus drivers are wankers and some are so lovely

Some people are just unpleasant, no rhyme or reason for it. It’s their default setting because no one pulls them up on it.

I'm sure several of us have dealt with the public in our jobs, it's not nice when you aren't treated in the way you feel you deserve (however you define that) but it's not an excuse for aggressive behaviour or unsolicited advice that has nothing to do with your job.

I also agree that he'd never have done this to a man.

Good point. He obviously identified OP as someone who didn't look like she'd bite back and he was right

Well judging by the teens on our local buses he probably had a fuck full of moody teens that day, he obviously assumed they were alone, and was ready for a confrontation as the teens quite often cause issues on buses. Maybe the last teens on his bus were abusive and he was expecting the same. I think I would just put it down to a misunderstanding and a man doing a shit job in extreme heat who was at the end of his tether and unfortunately you got the brunt of it.
we don’t travel by bus because quite honestly it really is the shittest way to travel . I only get a bus if there is no other option as people on buses can be mental and unpredictable. All the weirdos get on buses. obviously not everyone but if there is a weirdo about you can bet they will be travelling by bus.

Same.

@Buscomp I would email the bus company and complain. I’ve done that on the few occassions bus drivers have been arses. It doesn’t change the fact you got shouted at but if you tell them where and when it happened they’ll at least know who the driver is. It may not be the first complaint against him.

Good on you op, take no responsibility for you or your children.... Such is life these days. Poor bus driver.

Your teens were not rude. The driver was though.

I wouldn't be so apologetic and wouldn't have been as understanding of his behaviour. I wouldn't have been outwardly rude, but would have told him something like "OK, I misunderstood. No need for this, just print me the tickets." I'd have also observed the name, which most have on a badge on their uniform so that I could make an accurate report to the bus company.

Yes, I do think you should complain. People like this arsehole get away with treating women, especially those with children in tow, like this far too often. If we don't make a concerted effort to get things changed then this will continue.

As some have already said, it is very noticeable that they almost never behave in any such a manner towards other men.

My guess is, he didn't realise your children were with you. You paid for yourself, and assumed he knew the children were with you. They simply followed on behind you, without acknowledging the driver. He then shouted because your children didn't acknowledge him, and he didn't issue them a ticket.

He shouldn't have been so aggressive or spoken to you or your children, in the way he did.

Bus driver sounds like he’s more than capable of looking after himself, he’s certainly no ‘poor’ bus driver. Aggressive ahole more like.

The older I get, the more often I respond to this sort of thing with a very measured and softly spoken "are you speaking to me". It stops them in their tracks. It doesn't happen often but I reckon Dr's receptionists 1st, buses 2nd - can't think of other examples.

aww poor bus driver, the mean kids didn’t say hi to him when they got on….

I haven’t needed any sort of bus tickets for my Gdcs (11, 10, 6) when taking them out and about on double deckers recently (outer London).

I think he was really over the top rude but it's really rude to get on a bus and not even acknowledge the driver.

He sounds like an absolute knob. I don’t think I’d bother complaining, they won’t do anything. Just try to forget about him.

I would complain. If no one ever complains about this sort of behaviour the person just continues to do it.

Too kind. You sound lovely and he sounds a grumpy git! I don't care how tired or overheated he was!! I've been known to take a bus driver to task for being rude to me 😄

Well they do where I live, at least everyone with social skills does. Either Hello, or Morning, or just Thanks as you pay.
Live in Covent Garden, grew up in Hampstead.

Most people say thanks when they pay. Not many people say hello though. There's a difference.

Some bus drivers are really rude today I walked rather than catch a bus because I dont need to deal with potential hostility today my local bus company

Regularly has buses burst into flames or breaking down
Sent out a bus leaking diesel two days in a row causing chaos all over the road my friend had to get her brakes cleaned (or something like that) because it was all up in there she span out on it and couldn't stop breakdown guy said she was car number five
Hit someone's car when it was parked denied it then said it was driving and hit them then when shown the camera footage said it shouldn't have been there anyway (on its own driveway)
Hired someone who couldn't speak basic English you asked for a return he would repeat the word return you say yes he says return yes RETURN YES RETURN????? they left him on the rural route for weeks before putting someone with him to find out "why everyone was complaining"
Ran a bus full of students into a wall shattering all the glass along the side of the bus on more than one occasion thankfully now they have decided that only experienced drivers can do that route

And thats just the ones ive been involved with or been friends with

They are also some of the nicest people who occasionally work for the company they gave me a free lift when they had no change and it was raining put music on when my then toddler was crying dropped me by my door because again it was pouring wedged my friends in when it was a full bus because we were mates 😂 shame the nice ones dont last long

The majority of people just tap on or pay with a phone or bus pass. Teenagers mostly have the pass on their phones. I doubt bus drivers really care if 100s of people don't say hello. They just want you on the bus as quickly as possible.

I despise bus drivers like this and I always vow to complain about them when they are outrageously rude for no good reason, but I know deep in my heart nothing will ever get done, so I don't bother and just pray their dicks shrivel up.

Well I do, and I hear other people say Hello or Hi everyday.

I can think of any number of crimes which are far, far worse than that. It’s not as if women don’t shout, either.