AIBU to complain after a bus driver shouted at me and my children?

[Buscomp]

My DC and I very rarely use buses, however with the free travel this month I decided it might be a bit of a novelty to use local buses a little. I asked for tickets for all of us on the first two buses we got on but the drivers said “the kids are free” and let us on, so the next bus I didn’t mention them and just paid for myself assuming this was ok, that driver said nothing.

We boarded a bus together this afternoon and I did the same thing- paid for my ticket and started walking to find a seat. I then heard a commotion behind me so turned around and my 14 yo DD was saying “mum you need to come sort this”. I walked back to the front of the bus and the driver immediately started aggressively shouting at me. He said “your kids need free tickets, they can’t just get on, they were so rude to me as well, can tell how they’ve been raised, why would you just walk on? You need to acknowledge the driver- how dare you do this” etc etc.

Me being me, pretty non confrontational and calm, just apologised profusely for the misunderstanding and if anyone had appeared rude. I explained other drivers hadn’t given me free tickets so I didn’t realise this was necessary. He just said “well it is,
now take them” and printed them…

I said sorry again and feeling shaken, walked back up to my DC. I then overheard him bitching to another passenger about teenagers causing a raucous on the buses and how they shouldn’t be free etc. I assume he’s had a bad time with teens but mine were with me and also silent for the duration.

I decided to speak with him again before we got off. I explained how sorry I really was, that we didn’t use buses often and the other drivers hadn’t given us free tickets so I just didn’t realise at all. He then explained it’s for insurance purposes and I said ok that makes sense, thanks for clearing it up and sorry again. He didn’t stop though and started telling me I needed to “sort my kids out” and “they were rude and shouldn’t treat people like that”. I looked at DD confused and said I’m sorry I didn’t realise they’d said anything to you, I’ll have a word with them now and thank you then got off.

DD’s told me all that happened was the driver shouted after them “OI YOU TWO GET BACK HERE NOW” and they turned around confused and said what? Then they called for me, that was the whole interaction. Given the way he spoke to me, a fully grown adult, I’m inclined to believe them. Should I complain to the bus company? My heart was racing and I was shaking, I haven’t been shouted at like that for many years and just don’t expect to be. It’s certainly put us off using buses again!

Given that busses often have complicated rules that vary by area and I'd expect drivers to be a lot more reasonable about misunderstandings as they must be very common.

“Free” travel just means free at point of use. The bus company needs to know how many so they can charge whoever is paying surely?

That said the driver was rude but I assume he’s had it with wayward teenagers and was having a go but didn’t realise they were with you in first instance and then wouldn’t back down.

I do think bus driving is a tough job, enormous vehicle plus passengers plus policing anti social behaviour / fare evasion. Constant pressure to keep to timetable despite uncontrollable delays.

I do think onus is on passenger to say if they are travelling under a scheme and not just wander on. They have kids go free stuff on trains sometimes where I am and if dc aren’t with me (also teenagers) I’ll point them out to conductor so they know they aren’t unaccompanied.

Oh my, have you taken condescending lessons? I’m not 5, I fully understood. Also, my reply to you still stands, lighthearted or not, the OP had tried to be nice to him more times than she should have.

If you fully understood, then your reply makes no sense whatsoever.
You were replying to something I never asked or hinted at.
My statement as I reiterated was not aimed at OP's situation for which I have great sympathy for.

Sorry to be condescending, and I won't ask how much older then 5 you are.🤔

I would complain. It isn't a clear thing with these tickets either (I've looked online at our bus companies, I don't use buses much and I can't see what we're supposed to do). But we have two bus companies here who both have very different policies (like one you tap on and don't get a ticket, and don't even tap off so I don't understand that, and the other gives tickets). And one of those companies has several really rude drivers who also drive like maniacs.

Those of us who use public transport regularly can find it irritating when a someone who is only using it because; their car is being repaired; it's snowing; it's free for a month doesn't know how it operates. You called it "a bit of a novelty", ffs. For most of us, it's how we get around.
The bus driver probably assumed that he was dealing with teens who knew the ruled but couldn't be bothered to get a ticket. Bus drivers don't pander to their passengers, they shout so that they are heard.

In short, you don't know how to travel on public transport, made wrong assumptions and now want to blame someone else. Complain if you want, but I wouldn't advise it. Try and learn from the experience.

Those of us who use public transport regularly can find it irritating when a someone who is only using it because; their car is being repaired; it's snowing

Why on earth would you care about this? The more people that buy tickets and create demand, the more secure your service is. I live rurally where buses are cut without warning leaving towns cut off.

In short, you don't know how to travel on public transport, made wrong assumptions

She was basing her assumptions on the previous two bus journeys. Do you not base your knowledge of how to use public transport from your previous journeys? If not, why would the frequency of use matter?

I didn't realise that there was a hierarchy of people deserving to use a bus service.

What a load of bollocks.

Anyone can use public transport for any reason whatsoever. I drive sometimes but only local journeys. I use buses and trains a few times a month too, or whenever most convenient. I will continue to do so.

The government is trying to encourage use of whatever public transport there is instead of total reliance on cars. We need more people willing to use it, not people like you criticising and being territorial about it.

Agreed. Imagine the level of insecurity you must feel, gatekeeping buses 🫣 peak internet

He was rude OP & should not have reacted the way he did, should not have commented on how they were raised, when you complain that's the part I would focus on. I too would have been a bit shaken up. Not professional & an overreaction.
That said, I do think that he's probably overheated in what must be an unpleasant job with the heatwave etc & maybe he wouldn't normally be that bad

This

You make it sound like a private members' club

You’re making absolutely zero sense. You left a fairly poor attempt at witty humour, which was quite clearly intended as sarcasm towards Netcurtain. I replied to your comment with a perfectly valid response, and you’ve now resorted to being condescending in what appears to be an attempt to sound clever.

As I said, though, dressing it up in condescension doesn’t magically make your argument any more coherent, my response to your original comment is still entirely valid.

Yes, I do make complete sense, you saying otherwise does not make it so.
Yes, I made an attempt at witty humour, and sometimes good humour is based on good natured sarcasm. Whether you view it as a poor attempt is irrelevant to me, as all humour is subjective.

Me, condescending! 😮😮
Attempting to be clever. Well guilty as charged.
Poor attempt to sound clever. Your valid opinion. I actually thought I was.😄

"my response to your original comment is still entirely valid".
But your response to my original comment had nothing whatsoever to do with my original comment. 🤔