AIBU to complain after a bus driver shouted at me and my children?

[Buscomp]

My DC and I very rarely use buses, however with the free travel this month I decided it might be a bit of a novelty to use local buses a little. I asked for tickets for all of us on the first two buses we got on but the drivers said “the kids are free” and let us on, so the next bus I didn’t mention them and just paid for myself assuming this was ok, that driver said nothing.

We boarded a bus together this afternoon and I did the same thing- paid for my ticket and started walking to find a seat. I then heard a commotion behind me so turned around and my 14 yo DD was saying “mum you need to come sort this”. I walked back to the front of the bus and the driver immediately started aggressively shouting at me. He said “your kids need free tickets, they can’t just get on, they were so rude to me as well, can tell how they’ve been raised, why would you just walk on? You need to acknowledge the driver- how dare you do this” etc etc.

Me being me, pretty non confrontational and calm, just apologised profusely for the misunderstanding and if anyone had appeared rude. I explained other drivers hadn’t given me free tickets so I didn’t realise this was necessary. He just said “well it is,
now take them” and printed them…

I said sorry again and feeling shaken, walked back up to my DC. I then overheard him bitching to another passenger about teenagers causing a raucous on the buses and how they shouldn’t be free etc. I assume he’s had a bad time with teens but mine were with me and also silent for the duration.

I decided to speak with him again before we got off. I explained how sorry I really was, that we didn’t use buses often and the other drivers hadn’t given us free tickets so I just didn’t realise at all. He then explained it’s for insurance purposes and I said ok that makes sense, thanks for clearing it up and sorry again. He didn’t stop though and started telling me I needed to “sort my kids out” and “they were rude and shouldn’t treat people like that”. I looked at DD confused and said I’m sorry I didn’t realise they’d said anything to you, I’ll have a word with them now and thank you then got off.

DD’s told me all that happened was the driver shouted after them “OI YOU TWO GET BACK HERE NOW” and they turned around confused and said what? Then they called for me, that was the whole interaction. Given the way he spoke to me, a fully grown adult, I’m inclined to believe them. Should I complain to the bus company? My heart was racing and I was shaking, I haven’t been shouted at like that for many years and just don’t expect to be. It’s certainly put us off using buses again!

“Act more responsibly” because she walked slightly ahead of her teenage kids?!

Puhlease. Give it a rest. 🙄

Yes. Complain. Behaviour like this puts people off using buses.

And we need people to use buses. We need people to get out of their cars. They are not going to do it if every time that they venture out, they get a mouthful from an irate driver.

Complain.

This is what urks me the most, the OP over apologised and posters are still sticking up for him, bleeting on about the amount of rude passengers they have to contend with 😩 it's breaking my brain.

An also going to add that if your kids had been accompanied by their father, I very much doubt that the bus driver would have been so aggressive.

2 kids got on. Wasn't clear whether they were traveling free with the adult that had got on before them and were therefore free with that adult or travelling alone therefore needed tickets. Neither you or them were polite enough to let the driver know that you were traveling together so the driver not only had to contend with them being rude, but also that they had potentially dodged paying. Try being polite and people might be polite back.

I don’t understand how you were unaware that the driver was shouting at your DC if they were directly behind you.

I'd complain. No excuse to talk to people like this.

They're free regardless of whether an adult is with them.

He was a complete arsehole over a simple misunderstanding. It doesn't matter if he was 'hot' or if your 'kids walked behind you'. Jeez. Sorry this happened to you over an innocent mistake, OP. Definitely complain.

How did you get that from what the OP said? Why should she not be in a pleasant little bubble of calm on a day out? Are you always so rude to people and defend people who are as rude as you?

This.

Since all busses are absolutely CCTV covered up to the max it will be east to see if it was the driver who probably is sick of nasty kids all day or your perfect little darlings that were causing the issues

If it is the driver I'd expect appropriate action reprimand and training to be provided and an apology to be issued...

If it was your lovely innocent babies who were infact in the wrong I would hope you also followed a similar plan

Haven't read the whole post, so apologies if I'm just repeating everything, but we get buses all the time and our local company always does kids go free during the holidays. I never know whether to mention the kids or not (teens now), as the drivers always say "kids go free" and then I feel like I have to be pleasantly surprised by this fact (definitely a me problem 😂) and not all of the drivers bother with the tickets for the kids.
I had a similar experience the other day though with a miserable bus driver: I had a return so scanned my ticket and just followed the kids along and the driver made me stop and get tickets for them.
Also in terms of kids talking to the drivers - we often get the bus that picks up the local secondary kids going to the next town over, very few of them do anything more than scan their tickets, even though that bus is usually driven by the friendliest driver ever. He never moans at them or calls them rude, it's just what most teenagers do these days!

My god, some of these responses are bonkers. He was a rude twat, taking out a bad day/week on someone smaller and weaker.

I'm a Londoner who uses buses frequently and the other week I was rushing to get on a bus that was just pulling up to the stop just before I got to it so I ran and I jumped on, without thinking about it, whilst midway through messaging the person I was on my way to meet. Totally in a world of my own and totally absent mindedly I didn't tap on. The bus driver called out, but I didn't register he was talking to me (I really was in another world). I sat down and he had to call to me again to get me to go back and tap on. But at no point was he aggressive or unpleasant, in fact he laughed along with me at my embarrassment.

(I've also never taught my kids to say hi to the bus driver as we got on. We acknowledge and say thanks when getting off, if there's not a wall of people in the way, but not on. Can't explain why we do it that way round, but to me that's the norm in London).

Are people real in this thread?! Excusing this drivers shitty behaviour and name calling this family, that’s wild to me! This is absolutely not acceptable and not necessary. Yes absolutely complain, bad day or not he was rude as fuck despite you profusely apologising. Don’t tolerate shit like this OP. Put them straight in their place and tell them you’ll be complaining in future. He’s in a profession that deals with the public, not to stand and lecture people on their parenting skills because he was having a bad day.

I've heard there have been major problems with kids on buses with this scheme, from so many people. That doesn't mean he should have a go at you if you've done nothing. I'm not quite sure why he said your kids got on without saying anything as presumably they were with you. I always got mine to shout morning or afternoon when they got the free under 5s tickets, but if your aren't used to the bus they might not have known about saying anything. Or maybe they did and this guy just didn't hear them.

I thought only children say hello to the bus driver. Is that some village manners?

Do people/bus drivers really expect young teens to say hello to them as they’re getting on the bus?!
I can sort of get if he didn’t realise they were with you he might have wondered why they just got on but when it was clear they were with you he should have apologised!
There’s no excuse for him to make comments about their upbringing, they weren’t rude, they just walked on a bus!
From my experience I bet he would never say this to some actual rude teens/adults.

I think in not rising to it and remaining calm and polite yourself, you acquitted yourself very admirably in the circumstances @Buscomp

Personally I wouldn’t make a complaint because:

• as its a he said/she said situation, it’s likely that nothing/very little would result from it anyway and even if the driver was spoken to, you’d get no resolution/closure, as they can’t share any details with you due to data privacy rules
• if their lack of capability to issue clear communications to all drivers around the process for issuing free kids bus tickets is anything to go by, can you genuinely have any degree of confidence in the bus company actually doing anything to acknowledge/respond to your complaint in the first place
• ultimately, you’d only be spending more of your time and energy thinking about the situation with this man and frankly, that’s far more than he deserves - just be glad you aren’t married to him!

Aww op, I think you handled it amazing! I know I would have not so kindly told him to fuck alllll the way off! Who cares if he had a bad week? We've all had a bad fucking week 😂 doesn't mean you can scream and shout at people. I have a full image in my head what this guy was like, he didn't deserve your apology. I'd bet my life on it

Is this in London? I live in London and neither the passengers nor the bus drivers ever say hello to each other! And it’s very much not out of rudeness, just practicality. Sometimes I’ll shout “thank you!” when I leave the bus if it isn’t busy but there’s no expectation. Obviously if this is outside of London then things might be different. He sounds incredibly rude. Also once you said sorry there was no need for him to continue labouring the point. I’d put money on him not doing this if you were a bloke with two teenagers.

He was just a knob, please don't let him put you off using buses. Im sure u wouldnt stop driving after one bad road rage incident

You were more than kind. You profusely apologised and even after that he carried on being an arse. He was rude and out of order. There's a way of resolving issues like that and he didn't approach it in the right way at all. He might've been hot and bothered but that doesn't give him an excuse to behave so aggressively. I'm sorry OP. I would've felt shaken too.

Wtaf?!!

Just because you rarely use the bus service it's not a green card to be rude to the driver.

May I suggest next time you and your children use the bus, greet the driver and don't allow your children to just get on the bus until you have spoken with the driver about your fare.

I commute daily on buses for work and know how hard drivers work.

Teach your children respect when they are out and ensure you are with them and not just allowing them to do their thing while they are pissing off a bus driver who is doing a good job to get you and your children to your destination while ensuring all passengers are accounted for as they board.