AIBU to complain after a bus driver shouted at me and my children?

[Buscomp]

My DC and I very rarely use buses, however with the free travel this month I decided it might be a bit of a novelty to use local buses a little. I asked for tickets for all of us on the first two buses we got on but the drivers said “the kids are free” and let us on, so the next bus I didn’t mention them and just paid for myself assuming this was ok, that driver said nothing.

We boarded a bus together this afternoon and I did the same thing- paid for my ticket and started walking to find a seat. I then heard a commotion behind me so turned around and my 14 yo DD was saying “mum you need to come sort this”. I walked back to the front of the bus and the driver immediately started aggressively shouting at me. He said “your kids need free tickets, they can’t just get on, they were so rude to me as well, can tell how they’ve been raised, why would you just walk on? You need to acknowledge the driver- how dare you do this” etc etc.

Me being me, pretty non confrontational and calm, just apologised profusely for the misunderstanding and if anyone had appeared rude. I explained other drivers hadn’t given me free tickets so I didn’t realise this was necessary. He just said “well it is,
now take them” and printed them…

I said sorry again and feeling shaken, walked back up to my DC. I then overheard him bitching to another passenger about teenagers causing a raucous on the buses and how they shouldn’t be free etc. I assume he’s had a bad time with teens but mine were with me and also silent for the duration.

I decided to speak with him again before we got off. I explained how sorry I really was, that we didn’t use buses often and the other drivers hadn’t given us free tickets so I just didn’t realise at all. He then explained it’s for insurance purposes and I said ok that makes sense, thanks for clearing it up and sorry again. He didn’t stop though and started telling me I needed to “sort my kids out” and “they were rude and shouldn’t treat people like that”. I looked at DD confused and said I’m sorry I didn’t realise they’d said anything to you, I’ll have a word with them now and thank you then got off.

DD’s told me all that happened was the driver shouted after them “OI YOU TWO GET BACK HERE NOW” and they turned around confused and said what? Then they called for me, that was the whole interaction. Given the way he spoke to me, a fully grown adult, I’m inclined to believe them. Should I complain to the bus company? My heart was racing and I was shaking, I haven’t been shouted at like that for many years and just don’t expect to be. It’s certainly put us off using buses again!

I agree they get a lot of stick and abuse. And I usually say hello because I am paying or showing a pass. And I always say thank you. But I don't think drivers should be rude to kids who don't say hi.

I'm also a bit hazy on why tourists expect year-round users to subsidise them. Isn't it the other way round - taxpayers are subsidising free bus passes for the elderly and the £2 fare? Actually young people under 25 should get the free bus passes in my view!

But there was still no need for him to cause a commotion. All he had to do was say “excuse me, you need these tickets”

The OI get back here is a bit blunt but not the worst. All that crap about them not acknowledging the driver and how they were raised was unacceptable. I must have got on a bus hundreds of time with just a show of a bus pass, it's not a social event.

Very true and agreed. I say hi like you because I’m buying a ticket but I guess DD’s didn’t think to interact and I’ll make sure they do look up and say hi in future. They’re just typical teens and didn’t think!

Too bad if he had a bad day / week/ month . Nobody in a public facing role should be shouting at women and kids . Teenagers misbehaving , being disruptive, maybe . And note that he didn't back down or change his tone even after the OP apologised. Aggressive men should have no excuse .

I think he just wanted to pick a fight.

Exactly. I can’t stand people like that. Or the people who come here and start writing nasty responses on threads like yours to defend his horrible behaviour.

Miserable bastards 😅

Too often I have seen bus drivers let a string of rude aggy people pass and then take it out on a nice, quiet little family. I think they absorb a lot and when they let it go they do so selectively and towards people who don't seem the type to rant, swear or punch them on the nose.

Well done @Buscomp and yes, do complain.

Ha it’s ok, I’ve used MN for many years so donned my hard hat before posting in anticipation 😆

I travel a lot on buses and it is not acceptable behaviour for a bus driver ever. He is a bully and needs to be stopped.

If you have the ticket/time of bus/number of route report him. He was totally out of order, no excuse. He is in a public facing job and has to be polite if nothing else! This is not a one-off for him, it is his normal.

I would feedback to the bus company- he's providing a public service and that isn't a good example.
He was rude

Your kids were not rude. He was rude and aggressive

No but you usually acknowledge the existence of shop workers, taxi drivers, people who are performing a service for you? Nobody is saying it has to be a social occasion but it is rude not to acknowledge their existence. Like I said in my first post he shouldn't have gotten riled up but treating him like he is beneath them and just strolling on isn't on either and clearly it for his back up.

Without desiring to derail the thread, I find this most irksome that London get something the rest of us don't.

It is also wrong that London children up to the age of 11 get free school meals and the rest of the country don't.

It is rude to not acknowledge the driver.

This doesn’t mean that he was not rude and aggressive. He was. But I really don’t think it’s ok to just walk past and not even catch his eye. Like he’s some pleb who doesn’t matter.

Agreed and I have explained they need to say hi in future.

I would definitely complain. I once got shouted at by a driver who said I was taking too long to pay for my ticket and told me to hurry up. I had a small child and a baby in a pushchair with me. I complained and an inspector came to my house and spoke to me about it a few days later. Apparently another passenger had complained about his behaviour to me as well.
Bus driving is not a great job but there's no need for rudeness and aggression. I have always found that the male ones moan at women but will never say a word to aggressive looking scary guys.
Don't put up with it, complain.

Sorry this happened to you but it sounds like they were proactive in sorting it so I’m pleased about that. Interesting they seem to pick on mothers…

YANBU

The only people I've seen acknowledging or saying hi to drivers tended to be elderly people who probably get the same bus every day and see the same driver. I'd have thought most drivers just want to get you on and off safely and quickly so they can get on with the route.

Whoa, just picked up it was OP's two daughters the driver shouted at. That changes things for me - until the last page I had in mind he was a bloke playing the big man with two lads. Shouting at two teenage girls puts a different slant on things for me, especially the ages they are.

Complain, OP.

Yeah, maybe he's having an off day, maybe he's dehydrated, maybe he needs a pee. That is for the bus company to look at his hours / his route / facilities etc - bigger picture.

Or maybe he's a bloke who likes to use his small power over women / girls and there's a pattern / history of complaints about him.

If it's London then there's CCTV on buses. Also, 60 years of using buses in London I think I've said hello to a bus driver a handful of times - most of the time they aren't making eye contact, I usually give a nod if they are, and I'll say thank you when I get off because, well, I'm thankful for the journey if they are considerate etc... I have complained about 1 driver in all that time who was on a power trip and deliberately shut the door on two gay men waiting to board and tried to skip a stop when there were women waiting to board.

Weird that u wouldn't stay with ur children to make sure all ok with them getting free ride. Poor bus driver, how was he supposed to know ur kids age etc... I think u should act more responsibly tbh, avoid annoyance especially for driver, but also for your children.

Yes it would be interesting to know if he'd have treated a man and his sons so aggressively if only the man had greeted him. I bet not.

I've no time for men acting aggressively and shouting at women. It was clearly a misunderstanding, so no need for that sort of reaction.

That said, what was with all the apologising? From your Op, it sounds like you said sorry about 4 or 5 times? Once would be more than enough. Just a "righto, sorry about that", then move on.

I think it may well be true that he picked on your kids because they were girls. He probably wouldn't have picked on a couple of strapping lads or children out with their dad.