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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to find it strange that husband is invited to wedding without me

312 replies

Battyasacat · 07/08/2026 01:13

My husband has been invited to one of his employees wedding, she has worked at his company for 20 years. The invite just has his name on the envelope and there is no name inside just a printed card. He replied online but it seems like it is just for him.It’s all day
We have been married for 40 years and would have never done this despite being on a low budget at the time.
.

OP posts:
thepariscrimefiles · 07/08/2026 07:47

As you are her boss's wife so I assume that you have a stake in his company, I think that it's odd that you haven't been invited.

Normally work colleagues wouldn't get a 'plus one' invitation but in that case, the invitation is more likely to be to the evening do only, not all day.

WeirdyBeardyMarrowBabyLady · 07/08/2026 07:48

It would have been unusual 30 years ago when my peers were marrying but it’s really common now.

randomchap · 07/08/2026 07:49

It's not a big deal. It's a single day, maybe an overnight.

Do something with your friends/family while he's away. Or on your own if you prefer. Get a takeaway, cinema, go for a nice long walk somewhere, or whatever fun stuff you do

Don't do anything to stop him going, that'll just cause pointless upset

QuirkyHorse · 07/08/2026 07:50

Do they have a Christmas night out?
Do partners get invited to that?
It's a similar scenario but a wedding 🤷🏻‍♀️

I would be bored attending a wedding where I didn't know anyone but my husband. I know he wouldn't want to come to a works wedding with me and vice versa. Good excuse for the team to let their hair down together.

Busybeemumm · 07/08/2026 07:52

For weddings, it's common to just invite work colleagues without plus one. Don't overthink it. Enjoy your day alone while he attends the wedding. Maybe book yourself a massage or do something nice for yourself.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 07/08/2026 07:53

Normal for work colleagues, I have been to a few of my colleague’s weddings and no plus ones. We’ve always travelled there and back as a group from work. Nobody from work had partner there and I would have found it more strange in that context if one of my colleagues had brought one!

Fieldday26 · 07/08/2026 07:54

I don’t think it’s strange, we have a large family and limited numbers in the venue. I invited about 4/5 colleagues and sat them all together. We couldn’t increase that to 8/10 people as we physically didn’t have room at the venue.

SlenderRations · 07/08/2026 07:55

Why would she want to find room (and cost) for all her colleagues unknown partners?

Ginmonkeyagain · 07/08/2026 07:58

Ummm it's really common not to have a plus 1 if you are invited to the wedding of people you kno through something that does not invovle your partner, especially if it is a group of you going. I have been to several weddings of work colleagues over the years and Mr Monkey had generally not been invited and nor would I expect him to be.

ThisChirpyFox · 07/08/2026 08:00

Ansells · 07/08/2026 01:42

Why would it be strange? If say, 5 people from a team were invited to a wedding, inviting partners would make it 10 people, people that the couple do not know at all and have never had contact with.

I’ve been invited to several weddings of colleagues where DH wasn’t invited and vice versa. The only time I was invited to one of his colleague’s weddings was when only him and one other person was invited.

Show quote history

Same. it's what happened at my previous place of work - and all work colleagues came without partners and seated together. if budgeting why would she pay for people she doesn't know?

if you (and he) are not comfortable with it then your husband doesn't need to go.

cinquanta · 07/08/2026 08:00

Work colleagues? No, it isn’t that strange at all.

Onelifeonly · 07/08/2026 08:01

I don't think it's odd at all. I've been to weddings without my partner as a colleague, and once even as a friend when my partner was a new relationship. And I invited a whole group of colleagues to my wedding - not all had partners but I didn't consider inviting any either - they all travelled together in a minibus and had great fun.

pouletvous · 07/08/2026 08:01

Has she asked other people from work?

deeahgwitch · 07/08/2026 08:01

I think it’s odd.
OP’s husband is not just a colleague, he’s her boss of long standing, he owns the company.
“My husband has been invited to one of his employees wedding, she has worked at his company for 20 years…….”
I find it strange that you’d ask the boss but not his wife.
But I’m in Ireland where weddings are, I think, different to the UK.
Do you go to other company functions @Battyasacat ?
Do you know the bride to be.
It is a stretch (but not much aa many affairs start at work) but could there be “history” with the bride or another colleague or even a relationship that is ongoing, unknown to you.

BadLad · 07/08/2026 08:02

This wouldn’t bother me at all. I’ve cheerfully waved my wife off to a couple of weddings of her colleagues.

WorthyMintKoala · 07/08/2026 08:02

I invited 1 single female colleague and 2 male married colleague to our wedding (full day). Their wives were invited to the evening do. Other colleagues plus partners were invited to the evening do. I didn’t know their wives at all and we didn’t want to pay for extra people who we didn’t know. 1 of the men declined to day but came to the evening do with his wife, the other male came for the whole thing alone. Venue was on the cusp of not being local, the husband and wife did stay over in a hotel but no other colleagues did.

Whilst we would have liked to have invited the wives when it came to it we had to go with what we could afford. With friends we did invite partners some of whom we knew well others not so much but ultimately they were people we were likely to know better in the future. Colleagues and friends are not on the same level to my mind, unless you socialise heavily with your colleagues outside of work.

No one seemed offended at the invites, everyone was pleased to be there in whatever capacity it seemed to us.

i wouldn’t be offended if my husband was invited to a wedding of a work colleague and I was not. I’d find it a little strange if he was invited to the evening reception and I wasn’t though as numbers and costs are a lot more flexible

Ginmonkeyagain · 07/08/2026 08:04

Also weddings are different these days. People get.married later in life and tend to have built uo social links and connections outside of their family and relationship.

I come from a large family and there was a lot of cats bum mouth from older member of the family when my cousin and his wife did not invite the children of their cousins, a good number of whom were early to mid teens, so would need adult places. The younger part of the family thought it perfectly fine and normal that they wanted to prioritise friends over a bunch of kids they only see at Christmas.

MandemChickenShop · 07/08/2026 08:06

totes normallai

TerfOnATrain · 07/08/2026 08:11

Both my DC married last year. Both gave single invitations to work colleagues, who came collectively and sat together. I don’t think it’s odd, who wants or can afford to invite unknown plus ones to their wedding these days, but can still want valued colleagues there.

Grandslam8 · 07/08/2026 08:12

This is not strange for colleagues. If a group of colleagues are going, they’ll have each other for company. Why would the couple want spouses they hardly know or have never met? I would certainly invite spouses for my friends and family outside of work that I already know or will likely get to know in the future.

BoldNavyCritic · 07/08/2026 08:14

Battyasacat · 07/08/2026 03:41

Possibly it is because we are older, my husband is past retirement age.. We are all different I guess. I am from the US and every invitation includes a plus one but I thought here in the UK if you are married or in a long tterm relationship a plus one was usual.

Edited

I have been married 34 years and did exactly this with my work colleagues at my (church) wedding. They were a group of about 5 women who knew each other well and none of us knew any of their husbands at all. They all came and had a good time afaik. We didn't have the space or money to invite 5 people neither of us had ever met, but I liked my colleagues and wanted them there. So this is not new!

musicandmen · 07/08/2026 08:14

None of my work collegues got a plus one at my wedding. I’ve been to work collegues weddings as has my DH without me. I think it’s strange you assume you should be invited to someone’s wedding you barely know or have nothing to do with.

CopeNorth · 07/08/2026 08:17

Battyasacat · 07/08/2026 01:33

it’s a church wedding, very traditional. It’s very strange to me .

But why is it strange? I’ve often been invited to colleagues weddings alone - where there’s another group of people from work and we’re all sat together. Nowadays I think it’s rare for colleagues to know spouses / partners. One colleague actually gave our team of 5 an option - I am tight on numbers and can invite you all day without partners or, invite you with partners just to the evening. We all said come alone all day - partners were pleased enough to stay home from a wedding of someone they’d never met.

The only times I’ve been given a plus one by colleagues is where I wouldn’t know anyone else there or if it was a really big wedding

Nottodaty · 07/08/2026 08:19

Last week I attended a colleague wedding, with a small group of other colleagues.
My husband never even mentioned where was his invite - he wouldn’t have known any one.

He has been invited to a wedding previously and actually didn’t enjoy it as he didn’t really know the other partners or my colleagues- he happy for me to go without him!

HoppityBun · 07/08/2026 08:21

The length of time you’ve been married is irrelevant and it’s unreasonable to expect the work colleague to know how many years you’ve been married or to factor that in to the invitation list.

It’s a nice thought to ask work colleagues but it would e unworkable to have spouses and partners as well because it would double up the numbers.

Plus all the reasons others have given.