AIBU to find it strange that husband is invited to wedding without me

[Battyasacat]

My husband has been invited to one of his employees wedding, she has worked at his company for 20 years. The invite just has his name on the envelope and there is no name inside just a printed card. He replied online but it seems like it is just for him.It’s all day
We have been married for 40 years and would have never done this despite being on a low budget at the time.
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The reply from@Icecreamisthebest is perfect. Totally agree. Let the work colleagues celebrate their work colleague.

Does your DH find it strange going to work without you?

My husband invited around 7 work colleagues to our wedding.. them only no plus ones because it’s so expensive.
They don’t know you so it’s obviously not personal, just have a nice day on your own, I hate having to go to weddings of people I don’t know anyway.

Why especially a church wedding?

They’re the best weddings.

I’ve been invited to a wedding with some other colleagues. No plus ones. I think it’s fine, because we’ll all know each other.
It wouldn’t occur to me to have a problem with it.

I think it is weird to not invite a spouse to a church wedding.
There is usually loads of space and a religious wedding openly talks of two becomes one.
It would be more polite to invite all spouses of only closest workmates, or to invite all to church but not the evening do.

Can you uninvited partners go, enjoy the scenery, view the bridal party outside the church then eat out somewhere together?

You and DH will probably enjoy your short break away more than the actual wedding.

I can see why you think it strange but also I think a lot of the time other halves get invited out of politeness, however weddings can be very expensive and the cost of everyone having a plus one can add on a lot extra than may be in the budget. We only invited two of my dh work colleagues and their wives to our ceremony and daytime due to having a closer friendship, a few other colleagues and their other halves from both our workplaces were invited to the evening reception. I personally wouldn't be put out if my dh was invited to a colleagues wedding and I wasn't, he would have a great time with his team and I would go and have a nice day to myself or catching up with friends

Can you uninvited partners go, enjoy the scenery, view the bridal party outside the church then eat out somewhere together?

Oh my God NOOOOO don’t do this, this is weird and creepy as hell.

Why would a bunch of people (who won’t even know each other) go gawp at a wedding they’re not invited to and go for a meal together. 🤣🤣

Mortifying.

Not always, if they also do a full service (as the Catholic ones I've been to did,) they can be quite dull for non believers!

We had groups big groups of friends at our wedding without plus ones. It might be different if he knew absolutely no one else there. But you both feeling strange about going to a wedding without the other attached at the hip is also strange.

Our wedding cost nearly £200 per head, say you invite your closest 5 colleagues that’s an extra grand on plus ones you don’t know. Stay home or do something nice for yourself while he has a nice day with work friends. It’s ok and healthy to do things separately!

I like this idea.

I disagree with practically everyone here - it's weird and rude to invite just one of a couple. A wedding's about becoming a couple, you should at least pretend to celebrate your guests' partnerships on the day!

For my weddings and other friends', colleagues were always invited plus one. They often came without their partners (and then, annoyingly, stuck together in work-related cliques) but that was their choice, not the hosts'.

If you can't afford to host people courteously, invite fewer people.

Ask him to ask her.

Noooooo!

Don’t do this, don’t do the other mad idea of going and standing outside either. Just accept you’re not invited and that this is how things are done now. It might seem strange to you as an older person but this is what young couples do all the time now.

There's always one!

Possibly it is because we are older, my husband is past retirement age.. We are all different I guess. I am from the US and every invitation includes a plus one but I thought here in the UK if you are married or in a long tterm relationship a plus one was usual.

Are you keen to attend this wedding, or just upset you didn't get an invite?

Both my husband and I would be perfectly fine not to be invited .

Not saying this applies here but I would consider that hosting my boss/employer (it’s his company) could be a very weird and stressful dynamic. I’d likely be even more on edge with them having a spouse/partner when other colleagues are not.

Wouldn’t give it a second thought inviting a few people from work gets very expensive if you start adding there partners that they probably never met and don’t know

I’ve heard of this and been part of a group of work colleagues invited without partners, only to the evening do though.

Being invited as part of a group of colleagues is completely normal for weddings and has been for decades. I find it unusual you've never encountered it and odd that you're seemingly so annoyed by it you're awake and posting about it in the early hours of the morning.

Their wedding, their choice

I think it’s perfectly fine to invite a group of work colleagues without spouses or partners, especially if the bride or groom doesn’t know them.

I think this is pretty standard for a work invite. Presumably he’ll be sat with other work colleagues?

Does he want to go?