is this bag childish for year 7

[dinosaursroars]

my 11 year old is going to start year 7 next month and he’s recently diagnosed with autism after i said for years and everyone just said well wait and see but he has no ehcp and im worried he’s quiet and sensitive

He has no ehcp because we couldnt sort it in time and m worried about bullying and just everything about starting secondary school his primary only had 30 kids in a class who he was with all day and when going to places like the hall for pe they were always together but hell be pretty much by himself and thay fills me with anxiety

he’s my 3rd going to this school. my eldest i was abit worried as he started in 2020 and he had no transition days or anything but the worry wasn’t this much and my 2nd i wasnt worried at all hes socialable and loud (sometimes mouthy but a good thing because hes not the typical target for bullies if that makes sense) hes is in. year 10 in sept and theyll be going to school by bus together and im worried about this too as ds will have to wait 5 mins for his brother as year 7s finish early

now to the point of the post im looking at backpacks on vinted and this is his choice (pic attached) js this a target for bullying? id like your opinions but also if you have a child going into year 7 or just finished their opinion if possible

my eldest has said why should it matter what bag he wants and bullies will pick on anything if theyre going to which is true but id like him to not be a direct instant target if possible

also just any other advice and things i had loads of advice about my eldest starting college last year and im just feeling overwhelmed and anxious but dont want ds to feel like this so im trtingto hide it

Well the vast majority of kids wouldn't care but there will always be a couple of nasty ones around looking for someone to pick on. It's shit but it happens.

My sons school had a specific school bag so it saved on any angst.

Erm…no, children with autism are like catnip to a certain kind of mean-spirited child. Trusting, easy targets.

Source: was a child with autism

I think it's absolutely fine for Year 7.

Ours are oy allowed ain black, no named bags like Nike etc. At least it stops this consternation and targeting.

OP if you're worried then I'd go plain, Sonic is a funny age span, as in lots of them will like the movies etc but the branding is probably a bit younger

Ah this post is heart breaking.

I would be utterly furious and devastated if any of my children had posted paracetamol through someone's door like this.

I wonder how these people feel about their actions now they are adults. I couldn't live with myself if I'd carried on so cruelly.

If you have a year 10 boy you know exactly what sort of bags the kids use at the school, how is a bunch of randoms on the internet going to know what is the "in thing" at the school he's going to? If your y10 has a plain black branded one, just buy one of those. My 8 year old has had a similar sonic bag for 2 years now, he said last week he wants something else now as he's grown out of it.

I want to start by saying well done for reaching out. Mine are heading into year 7 too this year. Il be brutally honest. Don’t give him a choice I have a friend with SEN and she had to do everything then in the morning pack him off with a plain black rucksake. She would rather had the tantrum with him at home rather than extra stress for him at school, I’d say don’t give him the choice your doing what’s best for him and kids will pick up on difference’s. Don’t allow him to stand out IMO. Plain black rucksack.

Definitely don’t get the Jurassic park one - all the kids will be shouting ‘ruuunnnnnn’ at him.

Can he have the sonic one for PE at all with a plainer one for day to day?

I think this is sad. There is a child in my family with autism and fortunately he is liked by the other pupils.

OP - I have ND children, one who's just finished year 7.

I would present it as "this is your school bag". He doesn't need options to choose from, there's far too many and it's overwhelming.

He needs a big bag, that fits all his things in - that isn't up for debate and that can be a good, practical way to approach things with ND children. I got my son the North Face vault. It's just about big enough for all of his books and lunch box.

A separate PE bag from Adidas.

Practice buttons and changing with him every couple of days during the holidays. He needs to be prepared.

Have you spoken to the SENCO at the secondary? What have they said about the support for him? He doesn't need an EHCP to still get their help and support.

This exactly.

PE Kit came home about once a month. At the level at which DS did PE it didn't really need more (he was not sporty). Books, art projects etc stayed at school (by insistence of the school who were sick of children forgetting them at home or losing them, not DS's choice).

They also weren't allowed to have bags in corridors due to congestion, so minimising what you brought in made logistical sense. Like I said - all schools are different.

His options are to childish and not school friendly. A plain black Nike bag or any bag is recommended it also needs to be bigger

Please don’t get him either of them bags .. I have two children in secondary and other kids can be cruel. The best thing for him is to just fit in so I would deffo go with a sports brand bag for a boy - doesn’t need to be a boring colour but will be better being a brand like Nike or Adidas.

My two just fit everything they need in one bag my eldest has a handbag as she’s going into year 11 but my youngest who is going into year 8 has a Nike bag.

Thinking about shirt buttons, are they allowed to wear short sleeved shirts under a blazer? DS only ever unbuttons enough buttons to get his shirt over his head. Probably top 3 buttons.
It's really annoying when you come to wash them. 😁

So we got a big ish Nike black rucksack. It has a small pocket on the front which his lunch goes in and 2 separate sections for books/folders etc. there is at least one inside pocket and an external bottle pocket.

I really do think you need to put your foot down with this. Those kids rucksacks will attract the wrong attention potentially for the next 5 years.

lie to him if you have to

My son doesn't care about brands - now y10, has used a plain black Puma since y7. Always chooses the one where the Puma is embossed and doesn't stand out ie no white print. They need a big bag, that can take considerable weight.
Is there nothing helpful in the Uniform guide to refer to? Might suggest black bag - or there may be a school logo bag.

Please just get him the standard ‘uniform’ of a black or block colour rucksack from a normal brand like adidas or Nike. Dont over-think it - just get the standard rucksack that most y7 will have.

Where we are most schools wouldn't allow such bright bags, its normally against the uniform policy. Something plain is normally advised by school.
And yes those choices would make him an easy target for bullying.

I worked in a school and I dont think i have ever seen a year 7 child with that type of backpack.

I would choose a plain one. Nike, Adidas seem to be popular.

Definitely too babyish. Get a back Nike one or similar.

Yes

no there’s nothing about bags being black or plain just suitable for equipment i dont think i can afford a brand new bag depending on the price as i have to get all new uniform and pe kit and shoes for him and other uniform and shoes for my 2 other children in school but that makes it difficult as photos aren’t very good with sizes. i do like the hype bags a poster suggested hopefully ds will agree to something but he is very stubborn if its not his way he wont agree

he was only diagnosed this year after i went private which i couldnt really afford but for years i was told he was just sensitive etc and to wait and see and and when i meantioned the social part it was just hes fine and just shy but the older hes got its much more noticeable like the gaps between him and his classmates

but its always been there somewhat hes never been invited to a party and while he has been friendly with people in his class over the years nothings stuck

the one thing that has stuck with me was when he was im year 2 or 3 here was a child in his class he was friendly with and he had sn he had a party and gave the invites out in class for some reason and it wasnt a full class party just select children and ds stole the invite from the boy he sat next to not to be nasty or to upset the other child but because he wanted to go to the party
i didnt know until i gave the mum the rsvp and she basically said oh he’s not invited and that was it

a few months later it it was christmas and he got a christmas card from a girl and shed put she was sorry for the (his name) touch which im sure you all know what it is if they touch something after him thats what theyd say i had no idea as he hadnt told anyone and i did go onto school and showed them the card and luckily the classes got mixed up from about year 4 so there was no issues but he sort of kept to himself

so if this happens at 7 then what will it be like now theyre 11/12 and older especially if he doesnt say anything to anyone

The problem is that if your son had a certain sort of confident personality, he could absolutely get away with this bag without it being an issue. However from your description it sounds as though this is not the case and if a child is bulliable, the the bullies will find any reason they like to do it and this is an obvious one

You Can get a plain black suitable for school backpack from decathlon for £5.99.

https://www.decathlon.co.uk/p/15l-commuting-backpack-4-pockets/371299/c1m8959073

Not that there is anything wrong with getting one from Vinted.