AIBU to say no to a stripper for my husband’s party?

[ITanya78]

It is hubby’s 50th birthday party, his work colleagues are organising a party, which I am grateful for as I’ve just lost my Dad recently. However, one of the guys has messaged me (DH works with all men) to say would it be ok if they hired a stripper gram. I haven’t replied yet.

I was surprised, thought it was a bit of an outdated concept but I feel a lot of pressure to be the cool wife, say yes and not spoil anyone’s fun. However, I do suffer with body issues quite badly, I have a very flat chest that I was bullied about years ago. The thought of a gorgeous woman stripping off him makes me feel physically sick. I honestly don’t think I could cope with it.

So would it be ok to say no thank you or would that been seen as selfish? I don’t want everyone to think I’m a bad person.

Tell them the 80s are calling and while they’re at it can they hand over their topless calendars. Completely inappropriate especially from work colleagues.

Why don’t you tell them that you don’t think he would enjoy it and it would probably make the woman at the party feel uncomfortable so thanks but no thanks

you are well within your right to say no. My DP wouldn't want this at all. I would be indifferent.

Why don't you flip it round and have a bit of fun. Say yes! As long as it's a male one.

You say no. Totally inappropriate.

Do they all still live in the 1970s and call women ‘birds’?

Or less politely say WTF of course not!

As if they’ve even asked. I’m as chill as the next person but a 50th is not the place for a stripper FFS

This☝️

Just say, no I wouldn’t be comfortable with that for a number of reasons

editrd to add - they don’t need to know your reasons, just that they are numerous!

Really outdated concept and not appropriate for a 50th birthday party .
Grim
Just say no

Do you think your husband would want a stripper at his party? Because I think that's the real issue - if he would then, whether you'd feel uncomfortable or not, he has a thoroughly unpleasant attitude towards women which his work colleagues obviously know about and share.

You tell them it's not a sleazy stag do, it's your HUSBAND'S BIRTHDAY, don't be ridiculous of course it's not ok.
Add swear words as desired.

Just say NO!

I'd say no.

Just say no its completely inappropriate
You don't need to go into reasons or justify it with them though, its just gross

I’d be fine with this, he can see women all around him, he chose you. I mean say no if you really can’t cope with it but I’d focus on my insecurities really,

Sorry about your loss.

I would reply no way to the workmate. I can't believe they would even suggest it.

Yeah, nah. There’s no way I could agree to that. It’s so sleazy.

No because it's tacky and sleazy. It shouldn't have anything to do with your insecurities. It's not about you.

Thanks this has been making me so anxious, I can’t look forward to it if I know I am going to be confronted with a half naked woman with a superior body.

Id be temped to reply with 'no, it obviously would not be okay'. Make them feel a bit stupid. Dont explain.

You are so effortlessly cool, how do you do it, how can we all be like you 🙄?

I would say “Ha ha, very funny, Steve, you nearly had me there. Thank god it’s not the 1970s. Anyway, do you need anything sorted for the buffet?”

This is good.

Please don’t take any shame or blame for refusing. Its not because you have body issues—you are refusing quite properly for all women present and not.

Arent there going to be other women there—female coworkers for example? Juniors? How on earth is this not just crashingly inappropriate from an HR perspective?

I would say no pretty forcefully. “Its a birthday party not a fucking bacchanal Bob.”

Yeah but say a male one.

Can’t believe it was even suggested! It’s not a stag do, and even then people don’t have them anymore.

Of course it’s fine to decline the offer.