AIBU to say no to a stripper for my husband’s party?

[ITanya78]

It is hubby’s 50th birthday party, his work colleagues are organising a party, which I am grateful for as I’ve just lost my Dad recently. However, one of the guys has messaged me (DH works with all men) to say would it be ok if they hired a stripper gram. I haven’t replied yet.

I was surprised, thought it was a bit of an outdated concept but I feel a lot of pressure to be the cool wife, say yes and not spoil anyone’s fun. However, I do suffer with body issues quite badly, I have a very flat chest that I was bullied about years ago. The thought of a gorgeous woman stripping off him makes me feel physically sick. I honestly don’t think I could cope with it.

So would it be ok to say no thank you or would that been seen as selfish? I don’t want everyone to think I’m a bad person.

Hard no.

This

Fucking hell OP. Just close down the idea straight away.

Not sure I’d have wanted it for my 50th. They’re fun when you’re younger, and they’re still big business, but you get past all that as you get older. 🤷‍♀️

But don’t worry about your body - Stripagrams are a business. They won’t be remotely interested in any customer.

Tell them to fucking grow up. It's 2026 FFS.

Don’t worry about not being “the cool wife.” Make him feel silly in your response, almost mock him. Something like “you can’t be serious, no one does that anymore!” will hopefully shut him up.

ARe they possibly pulling your leg?

Anyway say, no, of course not.

His work colleagues want to hire a strippergram for his birthday party?

How weird. The answer is no.

Christ, how is this still legal? Theres no consent, it is grim.

How’s there no consent, many of these women it’s choice,

Shame needs to switch sides! I want to get a tattoo of this, thank you for the best phrase ever! ❤️❤️❤️

He's turning 50! Tell them they should have some respect for the young woman who will be half his age 🤢

Crikey - from your first post I'd just assumed you weren't going to be there....
... But the fact his mates are even considering this knowing that a women will be present (will there be other girls there apart from you OP?)

Do these colleague realise its 2026??

Absolutely this! Add - its not a stag do!

Absolutely not! The fact that it was even suggested to you is utterly disrespectful.

I'd say "no. Im bringing my (grand) children. Its totally inappropriate."

"Great idea Gary... let's get one of the Chippendales"

Totally inappropriate in the workplace and I doubt senior management would be too keen.

Ask him which one of his work collegues is stripping @ITanya78, obviously it will need to be one with a good body and no receding hair line or everyone will be disappointed.

so many excellent variants of "wtaf hard hard hard no" here, I love Mumsnet for this kind of thing.

And absolutely they should be ashamed of themselves.

Grim. No is a complete sentence, as MN says and this is the time to practice this.
Had you suggested a 1970s themed party? No pineapple hedgehogs, vol au vents, chips in a basket on the buffet menu that could have led his mate so badly astray?

Say this is fine, as long as it's a man.

‘Many’
wow. So not all then?
Jfc.

and no, it’s not ‘choice’ for any of them. Rich women would never make this choice.

This is what i also thought!