FIL - I can’t bare him and his stupid behaviour and I’m close to exploding

[Sovereigns]

I feel like I’m going to snap. I’ve name changed as I’ve spoken to a few people in real life about this and it would be obvious who I am.

My father in law - I’ve never liked him. I don’t know what it is, he has the most annoying face and stupid expressions. He always has to be centre of attention. On our wedding day the person doing the video went over to him and he just stared into it with a stupid grin slowly opening a bottle of wine and it completely ruined the video as it’s so, so annoying. Everyone says so, it’s not just me.

During the summer holidays he’s taken it upon himself to visit every morning to see the kids (unfortunately he only lives a short walk away). He lets himself in through the back door and then just stands there in the kitchen grinning, not saying anything. I’ve started just completely ignoring him until he walks in and speaks like a normal person.

Thing is I can feel myself boiling over with rage. On Friday he came in, stood there not speaking so I ignored him and he suddenly shouted “I’ve Brayed my Bonce!” Baby was asleep, woke up in shock, started crying and I was so annoyed I just snapped and said “Right. Why did you come here then?” Whilst I saw to the baby.

On Saturday DH made a big carrot cake and FIL came in and shouted “where’s my lump?”. DH said we’re not cutting it yet. Later that evening he rang up saying “don’t forget I want a lump”.

Yesterday morning he came around and said “when am I getting my lump?” So I snapped and said “DH will you just cut him some cake please, I’m getting sick of hearing about the fucking thing”. He winds me up more than anyone I have ever met. I’m getting annoyed just writing this post.

This morning he came in - stood in the kitchen grinning with his arm outstretched holding the tub the cake was put in so I snapped “what??? Just put it on the side!! What are you just stood there with it for??”

he put it down and said “right, I assume you’re busy so I’ll leave you to it” and left. Now I’m thinking is it me??

Why don't you tell him to go away though OP?

You have all my sympathy!!!!!!

1. easy to get the video edited.. and keep the new copy.
2. CHANGE YOUR BLOOMING LOCKS.
3. Snapping at him seems to be working. -

• So say to him very sternly that he is not
• to turn up without warning and walk into your house by the back door EVER AGAIN.
• Front door and by invitation in future.
• He is not to boom out so loudly he wakes up the baby
• and he is not to stand there demanding cake. Text it in writing too.
• If he bangs on the window - Tell him to go away. He's not invited.

You can be the bad guy here if DH won't.

Tell his wife, she can throw him out but he's not to just turn up at yours. She married him, so she's responsible.

He’s always been like it but it’s got worse since he retired because now he’s bored too. He married at 18 and that’s DHs mother who he’s still with now. I’d say poor woman but she’s bloody awful too but more in a nasty bitchy way rather than outright annoying.

An irritant.

Change the locks and tell your DH to educate his father how to behave appropriately.

DH won’t do anything. He just says “oh that’s just dad” well I’m fucking sick of “dad”.

It is anything to spark a reaction.

I do admire OP for totally ignoring him

It is the best place to start with a complete twat who wants to act the complete twat, furthermore be admired for being a complete twat and have women coo "ooh, it's just FiL being Fil"

They sound like a fucking nightmare. I would be having strong words with my husband. If you are at the point where you regret marrying him, you need to give him a chance to mend matters: either he sets very very firm boundaries and sticks to them, or you all move.

Oh and the poor blokes he worked with couldn’t stand him either, I have it on good authority that they were counting down the days to him retiring. I can imagine David Brent would have been more tolerable.

So what? It's that he's there every single morning, uninvited. OP can't stand him and I don't blame her. The kids go upstairs to escape him.

His own wife pushes him out every morning. Why on earth should OP have to put up with him when his own wife doesn't?

He lets himself into your home whenever he feels like it and then, if you lock your door, he bangs on the windows?

This is completely unacceptable. If your DH isn't willing to say something, then it is your right to do so. You shouldn't have to live at this man's mercy or on his terms--NOT in YOUR home.

I'd make it clear from now on that he can come over when he calls first and it is a good time for everyone, or when he is invited. If he continues to bang on the windows, I'd make it clear he isn't getting access.

This man needs to be trained like a toddler.

I think he’s got ITS.

Irritating Twat Syndrome

DH's response is the worst possible, it will only encourage him in the belief that his obnoxious behaviour is somehow endearing

Yes, that’s the one!! 🤯

You are perfectly entitled to have the rage about this dick. What an irritating knob.
Does your husband realise how much he winds you up and what a dick he is?
I’m afraid not wanting to move for fear of upsetting them isn’t good enough. Can you tell your husband he needs to stop this pantomime and put some boundaries in place or he can move out!

I can't stand these (usually older) men who think they're something of a clown. I definitely know the type - bloody Harry Enfield's 'Only me' character was bang on.

He’s lived down the same street for his entire life. Everyone that has known him for 40+ years says “he’s always been like it”. Nobody likes him but he thinks he’s a local celebrity

me either...I think, as usual she has a DH problem.

What would happen if you were outright rude to him and told him to get lost?

It's really unfair of your DH to dismiss how utterly, tragically unfunny and annoying his dad is.

You sound really mean, poor FIL

We had one for Prime Minister a few years ago

The thing where he stands there in the kitchen - he does the same things in the shops. Walks in and stands there grinning. This is usually met with “oh, hi Ted” with an eyeroll. I’ve even said to DH why does he just stand there not saying anything?? It’s weird!!

We went on holiday with them once and he almost ended up getting punched by another bloke. The whole holiday was an absolute nightmare, I can’t even look at the photos without wanting to cry.

OMG I think we are actually married into the same family matching mils too, can't take another 20 years of this.

Edited to add he has actually been punched by strangers because of his behaviour & again his family shrug the shoulders & say that's just how he is.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my blood pressure

Boris!? That’s exactly what he’s like but probably a bit weirder and intellectually challenged

How nice of you to offer to take him off the OP's hands! You're a star. I'm sure you have DMed her your address and told her that he's welcome round yours for a 'lump of cake' and to regale you with tales of his 'bashed bonce' or whatever he was blethering on about.

So what does he do that's so bad?