FIL - I can’t bare him and his stupid behaviour and I’m close to exploding

[Sovereigns]

I feel like I’m going to snap. I’ve name changed as I’ve spoken to a few people in real life about this and it would be obvious who I am.

My father in law - I’ve never liked him. I don’t know what it is, he has the most annoying face and stupid expressions. He always has to be centre of attention. On our wedding day the person doing the video went over to him and he just stared into it with a stupid grin slowly opening a bottle of wine and it completely ruined the video as it’s so, so annoying. Everyone says so, it’s not just me.

During the summer holidays he’s taken it upon himself to visit every morning to see the kids (unfortunately he only lives a short walk away). He lets himself in through the back door and then just stands there in the kitchen grinning, not saying anything. I’ve started just completely ignoring him until he walks in and speaks like a normal person.

Thing is I can feel myself boiling over with rage. On Friday he came in, stood there not speaking so I ignored him and he suddenly shouted “I’ve Brayed my Bonce!” Baby was asleep, woke up in shock, started crying and I was so annoyed I just snapped and said “Right. Why did you come here then?” Whilst I saw to the baby.

On Saturday DH made a big carrot cake and FIL came in and shouted “where’s my lump?”. DH said we’re not cutting it yet. Later that evening he rang up saying “don’t forget I want a lump”.

Yesterday morning he came around and said “when am I getting my lump?” So I snapped and said “DH will you just cut him some cake please, I’m getting sick of hearing about the fucking thing”. He winds me up more than anyone I have ever met. I’m getting annoyed just writing this post.

This morning he came in - stood in the kitchen grinning with his arm outstretched holding the tub the cake was put in so I snapped “what??? Just put it on the side!! What are you just stood there with it for??”

he put it down and said “right, I assume you’re busy so I’ll leave you to it” and left. Now I’m thinking is it me??

Get yourself a nice wee cell in segregation, peace on earth. 😆

Have you not told him to fuck off yet?

FIL would turn up anyway! Grinning through the bars of your cell 🤣

😂

That would be the ninth circle of hell. What has the OP ever done to deserve that?!

What have they done this time op? Sorry you're having a bad time!

Tell us!!

Is it possible he has some cognitive decline? He can't have been like this all his life as it sounds as though he'd have annoyed DH's mother too much for her to marry him.

Lock the gate

This sounds like something out of a horror film. I think there has to be some frank conversations. I’d lock your back door btw. If he can get in so could anyone.

I sympathise. My FIL is an evangelical Christian who thinks that only GB News 'tells it like it is' and argues the contrary to every discussion, every time. Slowly reducing all contact, if he lived next to me I'd have to just tell him to fuck off.

Yeah I wanted to know what that means too

Then why can't he just say he's bumped his head!! Braying is what donkeys do!

Am so glad I am not part of your family.
As the saying goes 'you can't choose your family'. Yeah, mine are at arms length. A very long arm. For similar reasons to OP.

Move house. A VERY long way away. Now.

He sounds awful. The best advice I ever had was to imagine you're David Attenborough, and the other person is some strange creature that you're observing. It somehow helps to get that distance between you and them in your head.

On the small positive side, he might die soon...

Where on earth would you live that"brayed your bonce" would ever be used for " really banged my head and it hurts". Never heard it before.

I absolutely could not handle this as you've described it OP - I don't know how you're still sane

I grew up in West Yorkshire just north of Leeds, and "bray", meaning to hit or beat was quite commonly used. I daresay it's been lost now like so much of the local dialect, and the awful Fil is just using it, along with the alliterative "bonce" for maximum annoyance/comedic effect.

(He's still a fucking idiot, dialect or not.)

He sounds like a complete dick. Keep the door locked so he can't just stroll in.

Missed a prime opportunity to just wazz the cake at him

He’s 100% annoying and I totally get why he’s grinding your gears, BUT he also sounds a bit sad & lonely?
IDK if I’m being kinder than the wider situation deserves, but there’s a whiff of the tragic here.
Either way, I’d say it’s down to DH to be clear on what’s acceptable behaviour

I can't understand why all these supposed "Christians" are so un-Christian like?! I thought Jesus tells us to "love they neighbour as thyself"?!
I'll never understand the hypocrisy......!

"There's no hate like Christian love"

My exes father used to turn up at ours, wouldn't knock on the door like a normal person, but bang on the window waving like a lunatic, or shout through the letter box. Come in the house, and criticise the place, shout at the cat or complain he couldn't hear the TV. He was at that point, 2 years into undiagnosed early onset dementia. I honestly felt like murdering him, then when he passed, felt so guilty because he was ill. If this behaviour is all you know, then he needs some stern words, lock your doors and be brutally honest with him. But get a diagnosis cos this isn't normal behaviour!