Unnecessary comment about my outfit from male member of staff at the school - your thoughts?

[TwatAtSchool91]

I live a stones throw from a secondary school which I have to pass daily on our school run.

A male member of staff stands outside in the morning greeting the kids.

A few months ago he made a comment to me as I walked past him. It was a stupid remark, nothing vulgar or massively offensive, but it has bothered me to the extent I'm now self conscious about what I'm wearing whenever I have to go past him.

The comment he made was "morning Blade" in a mocking tone, both infront of the secondary school kids and my own.

(for reference I was wearing a belted leather trench coat and some black riding style boots)

It wasn't a friendly jibe, he was being a twat. I wouldn't give it much thought if he were a random in the street but he's stood there representing the school 😐

Would you have raised it with the school or not? Do you think it was inappropriate?

@desperatemum1234 my eyes!

All I have is he is a man and this means I presume all men are more poweful than women so women have to treated like little petals with no thoughts of their own and leave all the adulting to big strong men while little women sit back and are only good for whatever men tell them to do, or doing their nails and hair

Or some such tripe

I would've laughed

Yes, I do believe there is a power dynamic to consider in societal interactions between a man and a woman who are strangers.

what if it was another woman as women do seem to chat about fashion and what others wear ?

Do you know for sure that he said it? It could have been one of the students. Unless you were walking along and looking at him as he said it, which would be weird, you can’t be sure those words came from his mouth.

Teenagers can be piss-taking little bastards sometimes, and it does sound like you’d dressed like Blade. Seems like the kind of thing a teenager would do.

But no of course you can’t report it to the school, you’d look ridiculous and they wouldn’t take it seriously.

Why would you want to get the teacher into some kind of trouble , by reporting him to the school? I think you are being mean, & if it is still playing on your mind, your life must be so empty. Honestly, take it for what it was & move on. If it was a while ago, if youbdid report him, the school may very well ask, why you didn't report it earlier, if it has bothered you so much. Move on & if you see him again, cross the road....Some people make problems out of nothing...yabu

It was said because she was a woman. He wouldn't have done it to a man.

He mocked a passing woman in front of a group, most probably showing off. It's bullying.

It is not unreasnable to take offence to an unsolicited comment from a man that others would have just found funny.

Why not just say that in the first place rather than randomly making up stuff about the OP?

I consider it VERY unreasonable to try to get that person to lose their job, or have to go through a complaint process, because of it.

Where did the OP said she wanted him to lose his job?!

It was not a sexual comment, no innuendo, no aggression, not intimidating, just a humorous comment which failed to cause hilarity on the recipient.

He took the piss and make the OP feel
uncomfortable, it’s ok for the OP to be annoyed because as I said upthread it’s not the norm to critique a strangers look to their face.

Forgive me OP but that was quite funny !! Sorry . I’d just forget it. Unfortunately it might put me off the coat though.

Why would you want to get the teacher into some kind of trouble , by reporting him to the school? I think you are being mean, & if it is still playing on your mind, your life must be so empty

Are you being mean because you think the OP is mean or just for the sake of it?

No it happened BECAUSE he is a man who thinks it's appropriate to belittle a passing woman.

It was said because she was a woman. He wouldn't have done it to a man

No way would he have said it to a men dressed up as Blade!

In what way was it belittling?

I’m a teacher and I hold myself to a high standard of behaviour in public, especially in front of children. I treat children respectfully, I treat adults respectfully. I might have a joke with someone I already knew well, but this was not the case here, I’m guessing?

I’d query with the HT if this type of behaviour (is it catcalling unknown women in passing? Or not quite?) is the type of behaviour they’d like their staff to model from impressionable adolescents. Because us teachers are professionals.

@HumberSquidthe OP says mocking tone or do you not believe the OP?

He probably thought he was being funny but I inderstand why you got upset. He sounds childish and a bit socially awkward. Try just to steer clear of him.

@AImportantMermaid this is what instantly came to mind for me too, well done getting the page with examples, I laughed hard at them again.

That is hilarious. Perhaps dress up as another character next time. Loki or superwoman?

A leather trench and tall boots will always carry attention. Not sure what you expect?

You weren't responding to me, but I'm thinking of a friend of my late mum's who thought anyone who was in a position of authority looked her up and down like she "was shit on their shoe" - it wasn't true, it was all in her head.

So I don't necessarily trust the OP's take on this situation, especially as this happened well over two months ago. That alone suggests she's quite a sensitive soul.

I think he sounds great, quick witted and humerous. I would have either laughed or made an equally witty remark about his outfit.

I think it would have been funny if he’d said it in jest to someone he was familiar with who might have enjoyed the joke. But saying it to a random passer by when he was on the street representing the school is a bit bellended IMO. It’s not troubling. Just a bit prattish.

I must admit, I did smirk at the comment.

But then I remembered that these men never comment on men’s appearance so I voted YANBU.

Is a humerous a funny bone?