Unnecessary comment about my outfit from male member of staff at the school - your thoughts?

[TwatAtSchool91]

I live a stones throw from a secondary school which I have to pass daily on our school run.

A male member of staff stands outside in the morning greeting the kids.

A few months ago he made a comment to me as I walked past him. It was a stupid remark, nothing vulgar or massively offensive, but it has bothered me to the extent I'm now self conscious about what I'm wearing whenever I have to go past him.

The comment he made was "morning Blade" in a mocking tone, both infront of the secondary school kids and my own.

(for reference I was wearing a belted leather trench coat and some black riding style boots)

It wasn't a friendly jibe, he was being a twat. I wouldn't give it much thought if he were a random in the street but he's stood there representing the school 😐

Would you have raised it with the school or not? Do you think it was inappropriate?

What a beige world you must live in.

Could have been worse. He could have called you Herr Flick.

Actually not remotely weird. Just a humorous comment . Not a derogatory one , or a sexualised one, or an aggressive one.
Children are allowed to be exposed to humour and to know that gentle teasing is not the end of the world.

Were you not in fancy dress?!

He picked the wrong parent to have a joke with. Jesus wept.

' A few months ago '

Good grief ! and you are still dwelling on this ?!!!

When school restarts in September, be ready with your words, be ready with a reply - a quick ' not appropriate ' will suffice
then get on with your day.

I got myself a rather severe haircut once... Went to work and a colleague greeted me : Moooorning, Mr. Shelby!
Then a stranger : "I like your haircut. It's a... it's a...classic!" 🤣

They were both very funny! And I have to admit, me and Mr.Shelby looked like sisters 😁

Sorry @TwatAtSchool91 but I lol-ed

Well it sounds like quite a statement outfit. You might expect comments (not negative ones of course).
And his comment wasn’t negative or insulting.
If I wore a red dress with a back belt, and someone said “Morning Kate/Cathy” I wouldn’t be offended; seems comparable to me.

You sound like the kind of woman who revels in putting complaints to every professional that dares to talk to you. Gives you a power boost, doesn't it? "That'll teach them!".

You need to know the person well to make comments/jokes on someone's appearance that aren't respectful compliments I think. The OP said it was said in a snidey manner. The bloke needs to be aware of how things can land/be perceived by strangers.

If I wore a red dress with a back belt, and someone said “Morning Kate/Cathy” I wouldn’t be offended; seems comparable to me.

?

This is a rational response 😆

character in a film

@GreenNewDealNow my friends & family have all sorts of nicknames based on dubious clothes choices from years ago & they are funny. However as you said I just wouldn’t mock a stranger.

that link is brilliant, very savage 🤣

I’m about as a thick skinned as they come and would have rolled my eyes at him and inwardly thought “what a twat”.

I might’ve even had a similar thought to him if I’d passed the OP in the street….. but it would have stayed an internal thought.

I don’t know why I’m surprised that there are posters on here trying to justify why it’s ok to openly mock a strangers choice of clothing.

“it’s just a joke!” is a classic bully response when called out on their behaviour……. as an earlier poster said, this guy clearly never left the playground.

@dogsmaid Kate Bush as Cathy in her video Wuthering Heights

What power dynamics?

Are you saying that women are at a disadvantage or ore vulnerable in society automatically when a man speaks to them? In any context?

There was no power dynamic here and to suggest otherwise is ridiculous and quite frankly insulting.

He’s an utter twat. Do your DC go to that school? Do you know him outside the school?

It’s bad form in front of teens to catcall a passer-by but next time just get angry. Or confront him: “I beg your pardon” or “ What did you say?”

Don’t be scared or self-conscious - get angry.

A shop assistant once said to me "you must be Dawn French!" it took me weeks to realise it was because I bought a chocolate orange (I'd forgotten the ads). I wasn't happy about the comment though!

I don’t know why I’m surprised that there are posters on here trying to justify why it’s ok to openly mock a strangers choice of clothing.

Because she said he worked in a school and it’s late on a weekend.

Ok, I'll reword my post.

It is not unreasnable to take offence to an unsolicited comment from a man that others would have just found funny.

I consider it VERY unreasonable to try to get that person to lose their job, or have to go through a complaint process, because of it. It was not a sexual comment, no innuendo, no aggression, not intimidating, just a humorous comment which failed to cause hilarity on the recipient.

If he had said something like "MMMhhh, you look like a vampire slayer, how about I bite your neck and you fight me?", then it would be a completely different situation. But it wasn't.

It gets worse.

It's not funny.
You are entitled to walk down a street without a random bloke commenting on your clothing, insultingly , creepily, admiringly, "funnily" or otherwise. It's patronising and belittling.

Would he have been as smart mouthed ( or "funny"🙄) to a burly bloke passing on the street?

Why can men not just let you go about your day?

It's too late now. But that's his one strike. If he makes any further comment, rip him a new one.