Is this Mumsnet for me? Shocked at responses

[Su9]

Are there no group rules here about swearing, bring unkind, basic courtesy?
Is there no admin or moderator, or is this the kind of group everyone wants and the admin is facilitating?
There are some great responses that offer food for thought, while several others are plain ugly.
People presumably write in for support and advice, so how on earth do they feel when people chuck these ugly retorts?
I'm deciding whether to leave or stay.

@GinToBegin savagely deleted!! Maybe I should have starred my swears?

So my reply (which I don’t believe actually did break any talk guidelines, but there we go)

was….. “I believe the standard response is

“off you F then Cychops””

There can be posts that aren’t ‘true’, just bullying.

That's why I joined; there were really interesting views. Seems I bumped into a bunch of uglies the past couple of days.
True, bigger things occupy my mind than the big question of whether to stay. It felt difficult to leave without offering a thought, maybe shine a little light. (At the risk of sounding like a goodie two shoes or do-gooder). (In fact my life is pretty focussed on do-gooding)

Do you really think that people don’t know?
And do you really think having a go at them helps?

Its like on thread where the OP is being abused and she gets told off because she hasn’t left 12 hours after being told to LTB.
Do you think having a go is helping someine who is scarred shit? It doesn’t. It’s more likely to make them close up agd stop asking for help.
Those who do leave within 24 hours are those who had already taken the decision. They just wanted a last confirmation

There are diverse ways to express anger etc, and why would I fell anger at an OP or their husband?

If you're analysing a decision whether to stay or leave a forum, I think you've got your answer. It isn't that deep and it's a release for a lot of people. This place means nothing to our own personal lives.

Honesty and honest advice can be expressed kindly, openly, offering suggestions and perspectives. We can record ourselves passionately, with huge messages. But random blow-offs and putting down? Not valuable for me, anyway.

ohhh do fuck off

There are diverse ways to express anger etc, and why would I fell anger at an OP or their husband? Um, no one I know would describe me as dull.

guess i'm about to be deleted

This just isn't true. There are some very well respected MN transmen on the feminist boards. The 'Terf' feminists board are also extremely supportive of women with trans children and will point them towards all sorts of useful websites and groups. What they don't endorse is telling children that they can become boy/girls when they are girls/boys or allowing them to toilet, change or share accommodation with the wrong sex. Terfs are generally extremely supportive of dressing however the hell you like as long as it's not parading around in fetish wear.

I have never, ever seen a parent told that they should throw their trans child out so can you please put some links up if this is actually true because until then I don't believe it for a second.

I must read the wrong threads as I very rarely see nasty posts and if I do then I just ignore them.

Why do you take notice of nasty people? They are just being nasty for attention. Don't give it to them.

It's wonderful to have a place where people are free to express themselves. As long as you are not directly offensive to someone then you can say whatever you want. If you don't like swearing and freedom of speech then I suggest you leave.

Honest feedback can be painful, but needn't be unkind. If you read my responses to OPs here, I've been very clear and direct, just really made sure it could be heard, not hurt.

OP you can ever say cunt on here - if you really want to.

It's worth bearing in mind that AIBU isn't known as a 'bear pit' for nothing.

Then post on another part of MN (not AIBU) or another website altogether. Your opinion is valid but it won't change anything and as you're dissatisfied here, best for you to move on

And if you are from the 'be kind' brigade then it really would be a good idea to leave. Good bye. 🙋‍♂️

Are you ok op? Why do you keep repeating yourself like some kind of odd “be kind” robot?

Of course. Covid was practically the only thing we were allowed to talk about, and this could be said of real life as well: nothing else in the world mattered at all. Certainly talking about the harms of months and months of lockdown on our children was absolutely forbidden, as was daring to suggest that the government might be taking us all for fools: and those of us who thought this were proven right, when Partygate came to light.

OP why are you dragging up old posts?

I’m not sure I’ve ever met a person who held an opinion they didn’t actually agree with.

I’ve learnt a lot on here, mostly that there a quite a few people live lives of quiet sorrow, lives hollowed out and narrowed by decisions they made when they believed they were safe and loved.

I agree about the pile on and constantly repeating what others have said. Its like they get a kick out of it.

I can assure you people are told to chuck their DC out. I can't link tonight as I'd have to search an old user name but I will tomorrow.

I won't swear at you or be obnoxious, OP! Not everyone is like that.

I know the difference between an argument and a shouting match and I don't descend to personal insults just because I don't agree with someone.

But I won't lie to you...there are some rude, potty-mouthed and aggressive people on here - don't let them upset you and remember, it's their problem, not yours, if they are nasty. It can't really be personal on an internet forum.