Am I the only one who basically avoids their Dh?

[Muststopdrinkingfizzystuff]

In a difficult relationship, but unable to get out, at least for now (very complicated)
Have Dc, light of my life.
I’m able to be strong and keep ok by sort of avoiding him.
I have my work, friends, Dc.
Weekdays are the easiest as it’s the least amount of time together.
Weekends can be difficult, but Dc mainly plays with friends so works in a way.
I have mainly just kept going like this. We are fine in front of my Dc, but sit in separate places when she is not there, for example.

Recently i’m feeling very lonely and thinking back to my younger years and previous boys/men who were after me and wanted to be with me and now i’m so alone.
I want that love and togetherness others have

I have friends who are also not happy.

I didn’t think when young that this was how my family life would be, feel sad for my Dc too.

Does anyone else live like this?

How old are you?

Why?

Just leave him.

Apart from anything else, think about how you are modelling what a normal relationship looks like! Do you want this cycle to continue to the next generation?

That's a shame but you need to do something about it, if you're that unhappy. Even if it's a 10 year plan to leave.

I can’t at present, am working on it and yes I feel incredibly guilty about that, all such a mess.

Does dh want to separate?

Yea for ages, we skirted around the same home. It’s got worse, I left in the end.

Why so combative/ suspicious? Advice will differ depending on your age. Certainly the things I would say to a 25 yo would be very different to a 55 yo.

I’ve known a few couples like that - they progressively spent less and less time together, operated like housemates/co-parents who happened to share a home. Eventually they split up.

Are you making plans/arrangements to leave? Does your husband know how you're feeling?

Did you talk about it? Would he not leave? Did you take Dc with you?

I was just asking why as wondered what the relevance was, that’s all.

45

Yes it’s like this

I don’t know, always avoids it

Same here. We share a house but that's it.

Feel for you - it's so lonely.

So sorry, for how long, does he address it/feel the same? Is it for the kids?

You definitely aren't the only one. I have a friend living just like this. She's so unhappy but she hasn't shown any signs she's going to leave him (or that he will leave her). Can I ask why you don't just leave? I often wonder this about my friend what could possibly be worse then wasting your life with someone who makes you miserable. I'm sure she'd be worse off financially but even so. She just says she's scared of being alone.

DD has MH issues, which has sort of taken over our lives. We don't really acknowledge the distance between us, but in my head we are done as a couple.

Sorry, don't want to hijack your thread! :)

I was like this in my marriage.
I left in the end.
Life is far too short.
Never looked back.
I grew to resent him in the end.

No you haven’t don’t worry!

Sort of similar here, well illness. How old is Dd, do you plan to leave when she’s grown?

Are you happier now? Did you meet anyone else? Were there kids involved?

People make it sound so easy to leave.
It really isn't that simple for several which which breatreasons.
OP, please don't give up on this right now. You have young children which greatly impacts on relationships.
Please consider counselling or open conversation to try and reconnect again.

She is mid-teens, and issues are getting worse. DP and I haven't slept in the same bed for a year. We live very rurally which is making things worse - i would like to move but we live in DPs family home so won't consider leaving.

Can’t or won’t

this sounds really hard for you. Sad situation

this is how so many couples used to live when divorce was taboo. If you’re both unhappy, the kids will be too. It would be better for everyone that you were living a life you enjoyed

So hard, we are quite isolated too and away from family, also want to move