Am I the only one who basically avoids their Dh?

[Muststopdrinkingfizzystuff]

In a difficult relationship, but unable to get out, at least for now (very complicated)
Have Dc, light of my life.
I’m able to be strong and keep ok by sort of avoiding him.
I have my work, friends, Dc.
Weekdays are the easiest as it’s the least amount of time together.
Weekends can be difficult, but Dc mainly plays with friends so works in a way.
I have mainly just kept going like this. We are fine in front of my Dc, but sit in separate places when she is not there, for example.

Recently i’m feeling very lonely and thinking back to my younger years and previous boys/men who were after me and wanted to be with me and now i’m so alone.
I want that love and togetherness others have

I have friends who are also not happy.

I didn’t think when young that this was how my family life would be, feel sad for my Dc too.

Does anyone else live like this?

You're quite right. But don't forget it's a public forum and anyone can post pretty much anything.

I know. Likewise posters are free to pick other posters up on what they think.

Yes, healthy exchange of views, and unhealthy fantasy. Ah well. Onto the next thread to see what pearls of wisdom I can share.

I guess that’s the benefits of being retired!

Who knew retirement would be so fulfilling?

I’m hoping you’ve got something a bit more exciting planned??

@Muststopdrinkingfizzystuff

Do you already have a good solicitor handling your case in the UK, OP?

I've got a wall of wet paint in need of an audience.

Haven’t got that far yet

Honestly, I think that's what you really need to do next. Only a specialist can answer your question and/or offer suggestions. If you discover that there is a pathway, you can take it. If not, at least it will be settled in your mind that there is nothing you can do, for now.

Would it be possible to arrange a visit to the UK to consult with a solicitor, just you and DD or does he insist on coming with? If so and you don't think you'd be able to slip away perhaps a family member or close friend who is 'legal savvy' can see one on your behalf and relay info to you. You could give them a list of things to ask.

From what I have read on the UK Hague webpage, the UK is bound by international law to send back a UK citizen child who is 'habitually resident' in another Hague country, so posters saying "The UK would never send a UK child back" are talking bollocks. They will and do unless strict caveats are met; grave risk of harm, older child who wishes to stay, or in some cases if that child has already been in the UK for 12 months (delayed filing).

Make the person I linked to in my earlier post your first port of call when you are ready to take the steps you need to and can do so safely.

https://freemanssolicitors.net/team_members/nina-hansen/

Yes this is it, this is why it’s not easy at all 😔
I will try to find a uk lawyer online who could helo with this x

Thank you so much x

It happens all the time. The Hague country to which the child has fled literally have the power to return the child to the father and do. Look up Hague Mothers and educate yourself. This is occuring even in cases of clear and evidenced domestic abuse. There is a clause in the Hague Convention that defending legal teams try to use to fight for the mother and child's best interests. Unfortunately, it is rarely accepted and successful.

The child or children are returned with or without the mother. If the mother has no right to remain in the father's county they can become completely separated.

It's an extremely distressing and heartbreaking situation.

I have experience of this the other way around - supporting women who have fled the UK and are being forced to return the child to England or who are stuck in England because this is what would happen if they tried to return to the mother's home country.

Is he actually abusive? What attracted you to him in the first place?

How does giving you this information help the OPs situation?

If a child is older and wants to stay in the UK that can be a reason for the courts to allow them to stay. So maybe take advice around how old your DD would have to be for that to count. That would at least give you a timeline and a sense of when you could leave. It may be easier to cope day to day if you know when this will end.

Did you contact them @Muststopdrinkingfizzystuff ? Helpful?

Yes I am in the same situation. I couldn’t leave for the last several years as was at university so couldn’t afford to live separately with my daughter, and now I’m about to start a full time job but as it’s a 24/7 shift pattern I don’t know how I’d manage to make childcare arrangements, so I’m stuck. We dislike each other and sleep separately but it’s miserable and I know how you feel re wishing for love and romance again. I’m 48. You aren’t alone sadly

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