To find "holidays" absolutely insanely stressful

[Muddlemummy]

I know everyone seems to joke " ha ha ha I need another holiday to get over the family holiday" but feeling totally burnt out and ashamed at how awful I found 3 nights away. Tried everything to prepare and it's less than 3hours drive, self catering house so got fridge, bedrooms etc, Suffolk so basic beach, castles, parks etc. nothing ott.

Got 3 and 5 year old and things seem to be getting worse not better each time we go away. Not sure I am looking for advice but just desperate to unload.

Trying not to compare and despair but feel so awful at how draining it was despite hands on husband. Usual story of mental load making my brain explode

I agree OP, I love coming home!!

Well yeah, 3 nights self catering somewhere a drive from home is not a holiday. Of course that's not very relaxing.
A week in the sun at an all inclusive where other people do all the cooking, cleaning and thinking is a holiday though.

When does it get easier!?

It’s the ages of your children. Will be much better when they are older and can appreciate being on holiday.

Yeah, you need to look at your ‘holiday’ choices. Yours wasn’t a good one!
Better luck next year. 🩵

Got 3 and 5 year old

There is your answer.

There is nothing worse than a UK holiday when your kids are so little in my opinion.

Remembering to pack everything you need for a cottage/in a caravan, driving for hours, still having to do the cooking/cleaning etc is exhausting and not a holiday for you at all. Yes the kids might love it, but you are basically doing all the hard work you do at home in a different environment. We didn’t even have nice summers when my kids were little so often had to contend with shitty weather too.

It’s not you OP, it really is stressful.

This. I went away with my kids at that age and didn’t find it stressful at all-I booked hotels with a maid service, all inclusive, pools and kids activities, etc. you’ve basically just relocated for three days and lived the exact same life.

God yes, I am very much not an AI type of person but when mine was 3 and 4 we went to the same
hotel in Crete each year and had other people do all the cooking and cleaning. It was a revelation after the first time so we just went back as had no energy to even think about anything else. It got easier by about age 6 I’d say. She’s 11 now and we’ve been back to self-catering for a good few years and it’s fine!

I know it's not glitz and glamour but thought (possibly wrongly!) that it would be less stressful than airports, flights, queues, extreme heat (35-40) etc.

I think on reflection the worst part is the - why can't I cope, what's wrong with me, everyone else goes on huge adventures and we struggle two counties away. 😥😥😥

This. Drive, cook, clean, parent. Same shit but with pressure.

Hotel, someone else does the shitwork while you and the kids have fun.

Thank you. Everyone seems to pop away on these mini breaks effortlessly and makes me feel like I'm going insane! Thank you - I really appreciate your message and others

I wrote this exact post last year.
3 nights away a short drive from home. Self catering lodge.
I felt exactly the same. If I can find my post o will try and link it.
The amount of work it takes to make it a nice experience for others, means it’s bloody hard work and not a holiday for you!!

it’s all the planning around it both ends of the holiday!

Did your partner/ their dad not help?

3 nights away was probably never going to be enough time to relax and enjoy time away with children those ages, with only 2 full days and travelling either side. We’ve always done UK holidays but would stay for longer and make sure we had enough spending money to go out for food every day.

They’re lying or really good at acting 😂.

You tried it, it wasn’t fun. It will get easier as they get older but there’s nothing wrong with staying home and just having days out at this age.

With kids that age it’s same shit, different view. I’m afraid it goes on for quite a few more years. Our camping holidays improved hugely when DS1 got old enough to go feral and run around with the other kids on the camping, so around 8-10 maybe?

i can safely say that I didn’t really enjoy any holidays with our children when they were small. There were nice moments but mostly it was a grind.

Same shit, different location!

100% this. Especially if there’s a decent kids club.

Going against everyone else says. I don't see what the problem is? Away from home so no laundry, cleaning, admin. Just meals. Get ready stuff from the supermarket. Eat out. I absolutely love a self catering break and find it really relaxing.

I think your problem was only going for 3 days. It didn’t give you time to relax into holiday mode, work out the quirks of the accommodation, find the best places to go, children to settle etc.

You’ve got the right idea with U.K., self-catering, short drive, but I think you need a week.

I live in Cambridgeshire, just 1.5 - 2 hours from Suffolk and used to go there a lot when the kids were little. The best trips were when the Airbnb had a kids room. With bunkbeds, games and toys - they were so excited to explore and play. If you have the energy, persevere and pick good accommodation. Going abroad would be more expensive and not necessarily better!

That’s a ‘same shit different location’, not a holiday.

At around 7 yr old

Why do people think self catering is ever a holiday. Especially with very small kids. That’s your very first big problem right there. It involves doing a food shop when you’re there or carting a load of food from home. That requires planning, prepping, shopping , cooking, cleaning - same thing you’re doing at home but with much less convenience.
you’re also tidying as you go. That’s exhausting. Do you also put a load of wash in while you’re there? Again , same as you do at home.

For it to be a holiday, everyone needs to be on holiday. If you’re doing any of the same stuff that you do at home- what do you expect.

I’ve only done one Airbnb type holiday because friends of ours really wanted to do that but we decided never again! I would just rather not go on holiday.

We only ever do AI type holidays or hotels. There’s food on tap, your room is cleaned, usually a kids club if you need. What is there to be stressed about?

I appreciate that this isn’t affordable for many, but so many people choose this type whether they can afford it and I never understand why they complain after.