To find "holidays" absolutely insanely stressful

[Muddlemummy]

I know everyone seems to joke " ha ha ha I need another holiday to get over the family holiday" but feeling totally burnt out and ashamed at how awful I found 3 nights away. Tried everything to prepare and it's less than 3hours drive, self catering house so got fridge, bedrooms etc, Suffolk so basic beach, castles, parks etc. nothing ott.

Got 3 and 5 year old and things seem to be getting worse not better each time we go away. Not sure I am looking for advice but just desperate to unload.

Trying not to compare and despair but feel so awful at how draining it was despite hands on husband. Usual story of mental load making my brain explode

There is nothing wrong with you - it is stressful going away with 2 children. I think going away on huge adventures with children aged 3 and 5 is not that common and most people find it difficult. Especially when you are still having to cook and clean as others have said. I find holidays quite difficult myself - usually it's hard at the start but improves once we have settled in a bit (this is including abroad holidays with no food to cook/activities etc). I think every holiday we've been on with kids we have thought we'd made a terrible mistake the first day or two!!

It really depends on your kids.

Stick mine on damp british beach in average weather in a wetsuit & theyve always been happy as. At 3 & 5 they'd have made endless castles, dug holes, made little pools, collected shells, looked for crabs, chucked stones in the sea, paddled. At 7&9 they still build castles, play bat and ball, swim even if its freezing, fly kites. They will self entertain for hours so its easy for me. If your kids dont like that sort of activity its harder

3 nights in Suffolk would only be a nice holiday in a posh hotel with no children. Self catering with kids that age is never going to be much fun. It does get better if that is any consolation, I am currently in France with my adult daughter in a beachside town full of French families renting holiday houses and I feel grateful every day as we sip our chilled rose and read our books that I do not have to deal with any of the (admittedly cute) hot whiny kids.

Self catering, in the UK, for 3 days, kids aged 3 and 5. Fuck that. Awful. Wouldn't do it.

Firstly, self catering is so much work. Shop, cook, dishes, clean. All in a place not your own with minimal supplies.

Secondly, UK weather is so shit and unpredictable.

Thirdly, 3 days is not enough for kids to settle.

Fourthly, those ages are very, very hard work. Which is why you need to make your life easier in the first place

We did self catering at butlins those ages - meant there was lots to do though left us tried but happy.

Apart from journey up and back via train and pre packing as I did it for 4 people - it wasn't stressful just busy.

I think youngest was 5 when we then did Tenby somewhere I knew well - close to beach - still self catering but DH cooks and we do get take-out easy meals.

I supposed it's think what was the stressful bits and try and avoid next year.

Plus 7 days is usually better. DMum say we should do a fortnoght else you do not relax but we've never done more than 7 days and usually do get decent accomodation near to beach - so can pop back and forth durring the day and nice enough we want to be in place as well.

Yes our own beds are the best.

I don't have kids and have never had a holiday with them, but I can well imagine the stress of organising a trip with a 3- and a 5-year old.
'less than 3hours drive' still sounds quite a long drive to me, unless you mean it's half an hour .
Self-catering means shopping and cooking. If your kids have food issues they're not going to go away just because you're on hols.
And I find short breaks more trouble than they're worth (even kid-free); by the time you've organised, packed, got there, found your feet etc you only have a couple of days, really, to explore or sunbathe or whatever you came to do, then you have to start the process in reverse!

Holidays can be stressful for anyone kids or not if things go wrong.
Just read about the holiday complaints or watch the TV programmes.

I don't agree with all those saying a self catering holiday is always rubbish with young children. We have been on all sorts with ours - self catering home or abroad, all inclusive, B&B with eating out for other meals, staying a few days in one place then moving on. All enjoyable from babyhood onwards. Having DH to share the childcare throughout and no chores to do other than maybe a bit of shopping / cooking always felt like a holiday to me. Persistent rain could be annoying - but mostly we have travelled abroad and avoided that.

Obviously some holidays are more work than others, personally I like to get out and do / see things so AI with a kids club (we did do these for a good while ) was fine but not my idea of a really great holiday.

Maybe think more about what would suit you and, particularly, the children. We based holidays around their needs - happy children, happy parents.

As for airports - yes can be a pain with young kids but it's all very possible. My worst moment was when we changed planes as it was cheaper than direct and my then 3 year old lost it and screamed the place down, whilst we were all held in a massive queue to wait to board the second plane. I didn't dare meet anyone's eye as felt so helpless but someone offered sweets and all was well. We always travelled with plenty of sweets after that.

I’m with you!
It does depend on the behaviour of you children and the usefulness of your partner but I’ve never found holidays in the uk stressful. Certainly not more stressful than being at home.
You can take the things with you to keep your kids happy. Food can be kept as simple as possible if that bothers you.
Holidays with young children are never going to be relaxing in the same way they were without the children but they can be fun and I’ve always enjoyed them very much.

I find it so much more stressful to stay home with kids, always loved going on holiday at any age.

Self catering can be brilliant, you have your own schedule, you don't have to keep kids quiet and still. You don't have to cook a 3 course meal, there are so many options to bring food that need no cooking

yes I think that's probably true. we do use hotels more often for shorter breaks. there is some set up time involved in a self catering holiday while you settle in.

We did days out when the children were young.
Nothing too taxing.
We would come home, fix an easy dinner for them, get nice take out food for us or our babysitter to come and we would go out for dinner.
It was really nice.
They slept well, were tired after the day out and had all their stuff.

I never did foreign holidays with very small children, stuff of nightmares to me.

For those in the cheap seats and haven'tgot the message, self catering means your meals are not included in your stay, not that you have to cook them! 😂

It's often easier to just do staycations with that age group. To people who enjoy it, fair enough. But a lot of us don't, and with how the weather is now, there's no need to go away unless you really love it.

As someone who finds any time somewhere different a mini holiday, this wouldn't bother me.

But that doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. I bet there's something else that I find tedious and/or exhausting that you would love, OP.

As you can see from the responses, it depends on the individual. You find what works for you.

One of my best friends loves AI. I love camping. I'm sure we each secretly think "that's not a holiday" about each other's holidays, but neither of us is right or wrong. We're just different people.

Yes I do work actually, and bloody hard, too. Full time shift worker, which is exactly why my holidays are spent in a pool with a cocktail and not frying sausages in a caravan in Skegness.

Well this is clearly very different to self catering in the uk with a couple of little kids, isn’t it?

@Muddlemummy Next time go to an AI with kids club. That's a real holiday. I got tired just reading about yours so you're def not being unreasonable!

she nails it. And it's not the age. I still remeber the lovely relaxing holiday we had when kids were 5 and 3 - in Thailand though, not self catering in the next village.

3 nights isn’t long enough to relax into it. You do all the planning, packing, travelling, unpacking etc and then it’s time to come home again.
We’ve just got back from 2 weeks away with our 3 children. It took 5 days to start to chill!

I’ve never stayed in a hotel abroad where the 4 of us all slept in the one room! Minimum the children have a double sofa bed, or often another bedroom.

I’ve never shared a room with my kids on holiday either! I have a policy that holiday accommodation has to be at least as comfortable as our home, otherwise it’s not a holiday.

I think 3 days is not enough - you need pretty much the sane as if you were going for 7 days.

We have just come back from an apartment in Spain ( admittedly with 18 year olds) . We had a pool and air con. The only self catering we did was occasional breakfast - oj and croissants or Greek yogurt and fruit and wine or beer outside in evening when we came back from dinner out. Plus a lovely pool - felt very chilled. When DS was 5+ we did AI overseas - for the weather and also pool plus the chance for him to make friends with as he is an only

Mine are all adults now , but I remember it well.I used to come home exhausted never felt like a holiday at all🙄 They all enjoyed though and always say they loved the holidays they had as kids