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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Inheritance and DH

228 replies

iht · 30/07/2026 18:43

I’m about to inherit about £62k from my Aunt. My plan was to pay off the mortgage of £22k and invest the rest. My DH has made a few jokes about how I could give him some. We do have separate finances because we met later in life, and I had a house and he didn’t.

I had an inheritance a few years ago and paid off his car loan and also paid off our wedding debt of £10k. I also had paid for our honeymoon.

The thing is, he’s one of life’s spenders whereas I’m a saver. It means he rarely has savings, but I do. He has 3 cars worth about £35k total.

When we met he had about £18k on credit cards that he was defaulting on, and I helped him to get an IVA to get out of the mess he was in.

He now has about £4K on a loan and £4K on his credit card. So basically £8k in debt and I’m going to have £80k in savings after I pay off the mortgage. I feel if I gave him money he would just spend it on rubbish.

He will be getting circa £65k lump sum next year from his Pension and when his mom passes he will get around £800k, albeit that could be 20 years from now.

WWYD. I feel bad having £80k savings when he has £8k debt. But similarly I don’t want to be giving chunks of money away. This inheritance will be my last btw.

OP posts:
Awkwardisfunny · 03/08/2026 11:58

BerryTwister · 30/07/2026 22:23

Awful idea.
Firstly, he won’t pay it back. He won’t have the money to pay it back, because he’ll spend every penny he gets.
And secondly his inheritance is not guaranteed. Why don’t people grasp this? Several of my friends have lost their parents and none of them have inherited anything after the care home fees are paid.

Better than nothing. Sounds like OP won't get it back anyway so worth a try.

TFImBackIn · 04/08/2026 16:22

If you die first, where is he planning to live?

If he's got a car he never even looks at which would pay off his debt then he's a complete idiot and you would be too if you gave him the money.

TFImBackIn · 04/08/2026 16:22

The thing is with people like this man, if the debt is cleared they just see that as an opportunity to have new debt.

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