Hand hold needed - away with cheating DH

[Kelkell]

Changed name as a regular poster and don’t want to out myself.

I’m away with DH and our two DC currently, we have had a few rows in recent months and haven’t been intimate for a while either.

I have spent the first few days of the holiday (we’re here for 10 days) running around after the kids, co-ordinating the on site clubs and basically not relaxing. DH has spent most of his days led pool side with his headphones in and a drink.

He has been on his phone a lot more than on recent holidays. So when he was in the shower last night, I looked at it because I was suspicious.

There are numerous messages between him and another woman. Time stamps when he would have been pool side. One really hurtful one said he has a ‘beer and the sun, I just wish you were here too so I could see your milk tankers in a bikini’. She’s equally flirting back, it made me feel sick reading.

I managed to bring this up without the kids present, he said what do I expect when I won’t go near him anymore. Just really cold. He’s doing his own thing today, and I don’t know how I’ll get through the rest of the holiday 😥

Can you stretch to a different room for you and the kids? Sounds absolutely hellish for you.

Just work out what you need to buy a house for you and the kids OP. Do not agree to 50/50 contact make him fight in court for that. If you are the main carer then it should stay that way. Fight for as much as you possibly can from this man because you only get one chance. It can be done I’ve been there and got enough money to buy a house outright. The idiot decided to leave me with a baby and a toddler while I was a stay at home mum!

Oh and I didn’t have a solicitor!

He did however and that was pretty horrendous. They can be absolutely vile just to warn you!

Going home isn’t an option, it’s not the kids’ fault and they are still managing to enjoy their holiday - I’d be selfish to do so.

No you'd be sensible because it gives you a head start on getting divorced before he has a chance to start hiding assets etc. Doing your best for DC future isn't selfish. Not that everything is about DC anyway, it's ok to put yourself first in a situation like this. You're not harming DC by putting yourself first in this instance. Selfish is harming others and not giving a shit about it so long as you get what you want. Putting yourself first isn't always selfish, they're two different things.

Fake it until you can secure your finances out even if that means a few months back at home of living a lie it’ll be worth it long run, don’t underestimate your love for you and your kids- plan if you can.

I’m getting visions of a Lee Anderson type!!

He is talking about kicking her out of the house though. Could they not negotiate her staying in the family home until the kids are 18?

Right?!

“Milk tankards” 🤢

If he gets that pissed again chuck away his phone and tell him he must have lost it.
Will get shot of Miss Milk Marketing Board 2026 till you’re back and watching the frantic hunt will be amusing

What do you want to do OP? Everyone on here suggests divorce but is that what YOU want? It sounds like he hasn't physically cheated which doesn't make it okay but at least it isn't an emotional or love based affair. How long have you been together? Are the children young? I wouldn't do anything rash just yet. Wait until you get back, take at least two weeks to think about it and then start making some plans after talking to services like women's aid or women legal service. You must protect your own interests and sometimes that means being strategic and not emotional.