AIBU to want my own bedroom after years of sharing?

[Seeing70]

Just that really. I fantasise all the time about having my own room, one that I can retreat to, read in, go to sleep in all by myself. I envy my teens their rooms. One of them is going off to uni and I am planning to decamp to her room, but I know that my husband of 20+ years will be hurt/offended, so the guilt will taint the pleasure of stretching out in a bed, by myself and being able to read as late as I like or get up in the night if I can’t sleep, or even start keeping a diary again before I fall sleep (or do a quick beard-pluck in private) all without worrying about disturbing anyone (or being disturbed by pesky questions about what I’m reading/writing).

Does anyone else feel this intense longing for their own space? Has anyone achieved it without hurting their spouse’s feelings?

Since menopause I have been snoring like a train, my husband has to get up for work at 4.30am, so I compromised and went into the upstairs spare room (if he went upstairs, he would wake me moving around in the kitchen and bathroom early in the mornings as 'our' bedroom is downstairs) I bought a small double bed and re-decorated the room. I sleep downstairs every Friday night and Saturday night and it suits us both as we both get sleep during the week, and can catch up with sleep if we need to on the weekend. Maybe you could tell him, he's snoring and you have to move out😂

This ^ I’m a light sleeper and husband snores. Even when he doesn’t snore, I will still wake multiple times in the night with him tossing and turning. This was my reason to move him into the spare room. Soooooo much better!

Last year after I had a bad accident and 2 operations my husband and I moved into separate bedrooms so he wouldn’t accidentally kick my injured leg.
I have always been a night owl, wandering the house, reading etc so it was actually good for both of us. He got to sleep uninterrupted and I got to sit up in bed reading, listening to music and drinking cuppas at all hours.
Once I recovered from my injuries we decided we both preferred separate bedrooms and have stuck with it.
Neither of us was offended or felt shunned by the other. After 5+ decades of marriage we definitely still love each other but enjoy separate bedrooms.

It’s surprising the number of other couples we know who sleep in separate rooms especially when one partner is a snorer!

No you are not wrong to want your own space.

I moved into a spare room some years ago, when I had a cough that was keeping both of us awake.

I have never moved back - we are both getting on a bit now, so there are frequent up and downs for wees, which can also disturb the other.

I don’t sleep well, so read a lot in bed, and even the light from my Kindle could disturb dh. It’s lovely to stretch out or starfish in a king size, only trouble is when guests are here, and I have to move to the spare single!

You can still meet up for a cuddle in the morning…

I love my room, it's like a giant hug when I go in and close the door. All decorated for me, no sign of a man in there. It's fine, it doesn't interrupt intimacy or any other crap people come up with and it means you get on with each other so much better as you sleep well.

They get used and usually find they sleep better as well. I don't think husband would want me back in there

I love my feminine energy bedroom. No compromise, just mine. Bedside table bit cluttered with my potions. Pile of my books on the floor. My perfume collection on display. Loads of pillows!

go for it, op, quality of life boost, for sure.

I love it too! Every day's a holiday! 💝