To find it weird when whole families turn up to kids parties

[CarmexQueen]

When did it become the norm to turn up to a young child's party with both parents & siblings?

What ever happened to drop and go or if they are too young for that, one parent brings the child.

It seems that lots of people treat kids parties like a family day out these days. The last few I've been to had more adults than children!

Aibu to find this weird? Why would the other parent or carer not stay home with the uninvited siblings instead of forcing them on the bday child and organisers.

I can somewhat understand (not that I would do it) bringing 2 parents to a softplay or outdoor activity, I do not agree with bringing siblings no matter if you do pay for them or not, it changes the vibes of the child's party, those children were NOT invited.
However turning up with your partner in tow to someone's home for a child's birthday party is so entitled and to bring siblings is CF of the highest order. Mortifying to do this.

Agree. I think sometimes both parents come because neither wants to sit there alone which I do understand, they are awkward. Weird bringing siblings and kind of rude unless it’s a small baby.

I also agree with dropping and leaving after the age of about 6. I think it’s weird parents stick around nowadays, they definitely didn’t in the 90s.

The dropping off thing has definitely increased. I'm sure it was 5 back in the 90s. 7 seems more normal here.

Moral support? 🤔

I get that occasionally families will have a genuine reason but it really does seem that the whole concept of 'etiquette' - what is the right thing to do in particular situations - has gone out of the window. Or any kind of consideration for the hosts.

Loads on MN about people who don't respond to the invitation, or say they'll come and then don't, or bring extras to the invitee. There was a heartbreaking thread a few weeks ago where a mum had invited the whole class and lots of people replied saying they'd come, but only 4 children turned up for her son's party. That poor little boy, and his poor mum.

It definitely seems to be getting worse. I suppose it's a bit akin to whole families going to A & E as a sort of evening out.

Two parents is fair enough
If the parent is staying

• A sibling should of similar age to the child could be brought IF the parent had asked first and offered to pay for the child.
• If the sibling is a different age from the child, but the activity is suitable for them, they could be brought IF the parent had asked first and offered to pay for the child.
• If the activity is not suitable for the child, they should not be brought unless they are a baby in arms.
• If the host says there is no room, or if they haven't been asked beforehand they should not bring the sibling.

Isn’t it. It’s utterly bizarre.

I think prople are scared of turning up and not having anyone to talk to (if they are shy etc)

Mine are way past stage now... but parties (if neither of us were working) were a divide and a conquer situation. One went to the party, the other did the essential chores like grocery shopping or cleaning... then we had time for actual family time later.

I find it odd. One child being invited but yet another you end up with mum, dad and rhe siblings. We have had parties were both parents stayed due to the childs complex support needs and the sibling stayed to which I have no issue with at all. However when families treat it as day out at my expense I tend not to invite the child again. I also find when the parents come together they tend not to mix which makes it awkward for others.

It often happens at Gds’ birthday parties, dd always invites the whole class plus sundry other friends, so 40 odd kids, but then it’s always in the local park, so space is not an issue.

Agree it’s odd, particularly past the pre school age when a parent has to stay. The only exceptions are when there are families that are good friends and the hosts ask the parents to stay for a glass of wine, say if it’s a party in a park.

We did a couple of trampolining type parties for DD. She could invite 10-12 people and we’d ask a couple of friends/ relatives/ other parents to be extra pairs of hands. No need for loads of adults to stay.

I also wonder about people who say they like to have family time. If there are uninvited siblings isn’t this the perfect opportunity to have time with them, especially if it’s just one? Taking them to the park say, without their sibling is great for 1-1 or 1-2 time

For us if we bring both it's less about family time but more because we've only got one car and if we're driving to some fancy soft play we might as well all go. We don't actually spend the time together as one parent does the party and the other is at a different part of the play area or in the cafe with the non-party child.

I find it very odd. And see a lot of parents act like they are the invitees and it’s not only their kid invited but them too and it’s part of their social life. Like they are all going to a party they are all invited to.

Agree with this siblings change the vibe, also I think kids should learn they arent always invited and also children should be allowed to have their own friends were their siblings aren’t always shoehorned in, and then also I feel awful when the party kids are having food/ice cream etc and end up getting them one.

unless invited we do not take siblings to a party. One takes the invited child the other one stays at home with the ones not invited.

What? Why do both parents need to stay if it’s a nursery party? What do you think single parents do?

I agree and the parents I’ve seen do it, tend to act like it’s a social outing for them, they both go as they both want to.

We often go together and also take along the toddler to any parties my older child goes to. If it’s a softplay party we will pay for our toddler to go in the younger kids bit and as it’s usually lunchtime we will buy them their own lunch.
we don’t get much weekend family time as I’m a shift worker so we will often tag on a visit somewhere before or after the party depending on the time. Makes sense rather than go home to collect the others to then go back out. We get to mingle with other parents and on the occasion the other parents are people we don’t know who aren’t particularly friendly it means we aren’t just sat alone with a coffee.

we don’t go in pairs to a village hall type party but if we know the family well we might take our younger child with us.

I think you are reading too much into this.

I didn't say both parents had to stay. I used the plural because there's more than 1 child! Each 2 year old will have a parent with them, therefore there are loads of parents present!
I didn't have mine at parties outside of the family (where the whole family was invited), until they were old enough to be dropped off. I'd wait in the car rather than endure a soft play party

I honestly think it’s something where the equitette has just changed and if parents staying at a party really bothers you then this either needs to be explicit in the invitations or you need not to have parties.

Why not make it very clear: only the child is invited. If you can accommodate an adult say child plus one adult. There would be no confusion.

I cannot understand why the 'whole family' attends the party, it's for the child plus their friends, not Uncle Tom Cobley An All.