To find it weird when whole families turn up to kids parties

[CarmexQueen]

When did it become the norm to turn up to a young child's party with both parents & siblings?

What ever happened to drop and go or if they are too young for that, one parent brings the child.

It seems that lots of people treat kids parties like a family day out these days. The last few I've been to had more adults than children!

Aibu to find this weird? Why would the other parent or carer not stay home with the uninvited siblings instead of forcing them on the bday child and organisers.

I only have one child but my husband is my carer because I cannot go out alone so if we don't go to kids parties together, I would miss out on seeing my dd have fun with all her friends. Sometimes he takes her alone but most often we both go. Also, we have often been somewhere together as a family before or are heading somewhere after and most parties are half an hour from where we live so it makes sense to all go together rather than needing to drive much further for our pre or post party outing.

I think if both parents want to go that’s fine and Dh and I have done it before purely for moral support. If you know other parents it’s not really necessary. Bringing siblings is rude though. I must admit when I held my dds birthday the room seemed packed even though there weren’t that many kids there and I guess it was down to both parents attending. Not an issue but if it’s a small venue I guess it could start to feel crowded.

I would ask/ expect to be asked about bringing a sibling unless it was a baby. I just assumed that was the social norm! DS had a party and a few people texted me about to check.about bringing siblings because of childcare issues (in which case fine) I did take DD when she was under one but in that case DH had some time off- two parents seems like overkill.

Only exception is family parties and if we are good friends with the parents and they expect us all to come!

I think it depends on whether it's in a park or a more organised event with limited numbers (soft play for example).
I have on occasion had to turn up with two due to childcare issues when it was not a drop-off - although TBF I always check first.
I have also had parents turn up with three children when I was expecting one, which can be problematic.
I would be curious to know if anyone has the perfect one-liner to put in an invitation to prevent this from happening.

Because most working families get little time together now, so often do things before/after the party, so it's just easier to be together (obviously depending how many kids you have, the nature of each kid etc), plus they like to chat with all their friends as their kids play.

How old is the child?

Yes it is weird and entitled for the whole family to turn up. The invitation is issued to the birthday child’s friend, not their parents or siblings.

The only exception would be if they are very young and needed a parent there for a nappy change etc

Some couples nowadays seem unable to function without each other for any length of time.

Due to space restrictions we cannot accommodate siblings.

That wouldn’t be my immediate assumption. If it’s a party where you don’t know any of the other parents it might just be nice to have your partner there to chat to. It’s pretty common from what I’ve seen.

I only had that with one whole class party for DD2. Not just both parents but siblings, cousin and grannies! We had to stop some of the adults launching into the food before the kids had their birthday tea. I don't mind people eating leftovers of course, but not before you know whether it is left over! It was unbelievable and so different from when DD1 had a whole class party. Several CFs!

We both work 5 days a week, we like spending time as a family, said birthday parties eat into that family time so we all come. Hasn’t crossed my mind this would be an issue to some people, hasn’t seemed to be a problem yet and certainly seems the norm.

Haven’t come across this being problematic very often (if at all). People most frequently ask if a sibling can come, and in the places I have lived it was very normal for both parents to attend. DH and I both went to parties when our kids were very little, but we had twins. We saw more couples and parties than not.

Absolutely unheard of when my children had parties. The child was invited and not the family. Drop off and run worked for everyone. Aged from reception onwards.

I've always thought it's a bit odd. As another poster pointed out, some couples are incapable of doing things alone. I've noticed this a lot, especially amongst couples who complain that they get no time to themselves. They seem incapable of going out alone and creating that time where each parent can get some peace or a break.

Very weird. I have never had it happen to me but did see it a couple of times with friend's parties. Bad enough bringing your husband/wife but to bring the whole family when only one kid is invited is bizarre and definitely NOT normal.

This thread is so odd - we only have one child but I could never get this excited about people bringing siblings to our birthday parties. I just need to know which siblings are coming so I can ensure there’s enough food and age appropriate party bags.

For a nappy change!? Do you actually have young children?

You are expecting children age 2 or 3 to be dropped at a party because the invitation is only ‘issued to the birthday child’s friend’

In my experience, parties are social for the parents too. We are often friends with other mums & dads and will both go to catch up

Yes it's weird. Similar to when school have open afternoon type events and stipulate one adult per child due to space limitations. Cue various whole families appearing. It restricts space for everyone else, is overwhelming for a lot of kids and is just downright rude. Take turns FGS.

If children are capable of spending six or seven hours a day in school they are capable of attending a party without minders.

If parents throw a party then it's up to them to make sure they have enough help rounded up to manage the children they invite.

I have never once experienced a party where parents stayed. My DCs grew up in the US, where perhaps kids are expected to be more independent?

There's a family at school who moves in a pack.
They're lovely but it's never just one of them, they come to everything as a pair with child and the additional teen daughter in tow. It does stand out.

I thought it was more normal to have a row over who doesn't have to go? It's your turn etc.

Children’s parties are hell on earth. We draw straws for who is taking our child along. No way would we both voluntarily go.

We simply ended up writing no siblings, no parents, no family members on the invitation.

It's a child's birthday party - not a get together for random families.

Parties are expensive, especially when it's something like a softplay. Are you telling me you would happily pay for 1+ siblings per child invited?

I agree with this. My children are 29 and 26 and never once did a parent stay for a party or ask for a sibling to be included).

The only party I ever stayed for was one that was held in a pub garden when my daughter was 3.

In the circles we move in, unless specifically stated parties are almost all held in places where siblings can be paid in separately and parents often comes as a pair.

Not only do many parents not have that much time as a family because of work demands, in many cases it's an opportunity to socialise with other parents too.