To find it weird when whole families turn up to kids parties

[CarmexQueen]

When did it become the norm to turn up to a young child's party with both parents & siblings?

What ever happened to drop and go or if they are too young for that, one parent brings the child.

It seems that lots of people treat kids parties like a family day out these days. The last few I've been to had more adults than children!

Aibu to find this weird? Why would the other parent or carer not stay home with the uninvited siblings instead of forcing them on the bday child and organisers.

Depends where the party was. It wouldn’t really be the done thing at soft play or trampolining or even a village hall tbh. Fair enough if the child is older but it’s a big ask fir young children.

I know!

"isn’t really fair to ask one set of parent to supervise up to thirty children. Or safe, really."

What, like a class teacher would do every day without any issues?

Don't you think the parent of the bday child would think of supervision when they decide on the number of kids to invite? Who would invite more then they are capable of managing? Of course they birthday child would have other family members there to help and help them celebrate.

They don't need 2 or more adults +random siblings for each invited child to also swarm arond them during their special day.

Ah see, I’m talking about the days before everything was for show and Instagram. The parents weren’t all trying to outdo each other. It was a tea party at home not tightrope walking or wine tasting for 5 year olds.

I always find it weird when the whole family go together mainly

1. Supermarket
2. A&E - just why? No. And sometimes Nan is with them too!

🙄

@CarmexQueen a class teacher wouldn’t have them in a soft play or trampoline park or out of the school on that ratio. (As you know.)

I actually booked DS’s party on Friday. Not a chance would I be able to supervise twenty five children on my own in a trampoline park! And I am a teacher!

Double post sorry; crap signal

Why would anyone be annoyed at ‘minding’ a child they have actually invited to a party?

Attention-seeking day out

Yes, thats why I said that the party childs parent would only book for a number they are capable of handing and also have their own family members there helping.

Because as this thread shows many people feel entitled to turn up.

They won’t change their plans for their child to attend a party and do stuff as a family either side.

O also think either decline the invite because you want family time or accept and one parent turns up (with siblings if stay and no other childcare option available and the host has oked it).

But I also know from MN how many people cannot get family members to have a child for them for a few hours to take another to a party which I think also contributes.

when my ds had parties and parents asked if siblings could stay I would either agree or say I was happy for them to leave older child if easier as I had friends staying who would be helping. Some people stayed and others took the opportunity to run for the hills from the madness 🤣

Witb extra adults, it really dependson the venue. If you invite 10 kids to a party in ykur house/garden, but end up with 18 adults, 10 children and 5 toddlers and no one can move, its highly unplesant.

Public session at softplay is completely different. But again... extra adults might not fit in the party room.

That isn’t really what happens though @CarmexQueen . It would mean reducing numbers right down to maybe two or three kids for me and in any case, no one has ever suggested that they mind staying.

I guess if you really want parents to leave then you state that they are welcome to drop and run but even so many won’t.

👆Nailed it.

We alternate this delightful duty and we will 100% always take a 'drop and run' option when available. I really struggle to understand people who don't.

There is a set of parents in my daughter's class who seem joined at the hip - always both turn up for parties and stay for the duration, even do the school run together. This level of co-dependency just seems unhealthy (I have even wondered if some element of coercive control). FWIW the daughter seems to always end up in tears by the end of every party and then runs to parents. I'm sure this would not happen if they weren't there, so agree with the PP who suggested that the continuous hovering holds back children's social skills and development.

Whenever we host a party I go to great pains to encourage people to take some time for themselves and come back at the end - I feel it's like a little gift I can give to parents, a couple of hours of freedom and peace.

If you don't have any family or friends to help you manage, Then book a venue with staff that can help. Most softplays/trampoline parks etc will have staff for this exact reason. They usually have a party 'host' too.

It's not an excuse for a family of 4 turning up on the invitation of one 5 year old. There's obviously exceptions, like single parents etc, but as you can see by this post, most people treat a kids bday party as a family day out. It's utterly entitled behaviour.

Staff at softplay helping are mostly in their teens. Have you actually got young children? I am genuinely asking. Because there is no way I could safely manage over twenty children at a trampoline park and not would staff be expected to.

There are thousands and thousands of venues up and down the country that host kids parties. Some are better than others. Book one that offers the services you need.

Still not an excuse to bring 5 people on the back of one invitation, no matter how hard you peddle it.

And yes, I have 4 children aged 14 - 2, so PLENTY of experience when it comes to children's parties and CF parents with their petty excuses.

I'm unsure if you are complaining about a specific situation but if you are talking about soft play centres, you really can't dictate whether people bring extra children (or adults for that matter) so a venue that is open to the public and pay for a sibling to use the facilities as well.

I’m sure I read this thread a couple of weeks ago.

How will you ever get to know anyone if you take your partner everywhere?

I'm so surprised at this thread. I have 2 children and understand how difficult it is to organise parties and the problems that come with under estimating due to extra guests. I do think people should state if they are bringing siblings.
i have just organised a party at a village hall and specifically said siblings welcome as I know families find it hard on the weekends to be together.
What happened to community?

So do you actually sit at somebody else's party just huddled with your partner? I think that would be quite rude. How about being sociable or offering to help out, particularly if you haven't actually been invited?

All the village hall and home parties we have been to (reception year) have explicitly said siblings welcome. I think it's nice for everyone to be able to get together, the kids have fun and the parents can chat. It doesn't cost much to put on a few extra snacks for some extra toddlers.

If it's a catered activity (like soft play for x kids with tea) then obviously you pay for extra kids if you want to bring them in.

When my children were young it was the I invited child only. If you were having a lot of children to your child’s party then it was up to you to get extra adults, grannies, aunts, uncles, friends etc to look after the children. This was from about age 4. Never once did I have a child cry because mummy or daddy were not there.