To find it weird when whole families turn up to kids parties

[CarmexQueen]

When did it become the norm to turn up to a young child's party with both parents & siblings?

What ever happened to drop and go or if they are too young for that, one parent brings the child.

It seems that lots of people treat kids parties like a family day out these days. The last few I've been to had more adults than children!

Aibu to find this weird? Why would the other parent or carer not stay home with the uninvited siblings instead of forcing them on the bday child and organisers.

So you never questioned whether it was appropriate or considerate?

YANBU op. It’s completely CF behaviour.

This is ultimate entitlement and CF attitude!! If you like spending time together then you decline the occasional party invite and dont impose your entire family on some poor party host just because of your own life choices. Jeez!!!

I think this too, OP. My oldest is going into secondary and parents would be very happy to drop off at parties and go. Completely different now that my youngest is in reception, with whole families attending being the norm.

Personally if I can get out of a children’s party, I’d be happy to miss it! My husband and I take turns at parties and enjoy having 1-to-1 time with our other child.

This ! Apart from taking siblings. Don't see why both parents can't go especially if they have other plans. Edited to add my ds is 2 so it's not a drop and run situation yet

Is it an opportunity to socialise with other parents and have some family time or are you really just imposing yourself and your family on them without questioning if they actually want the full family to join?

We only had parents stay for parties before my kids were toilet trained. And we didn’t bother with 2nd birthday parties with friends. So really maybe only 3rd birthday parents stayed and even then mos didn’t. By 4th birthday I wrote “drop off”. I think if you require parents to stay there is a risk of siblings staying also. Re; comment about “husband is carer and I want to see DD have fun with friends” - not a reason to take whole family to someone’s else’s party. Parents are at a party to support their child, eg taking to toilet, comforting if can’t cope on own - not to “see them having fun”.

A really weird thing used to happen when I was a kid; we were dropped off and then collected. Invitee only. No parents or other hangers on. The entitlement in this country now is off the scale

The last one we did was at a trampoline venue. Birthday girl (sixth birthday) invited a set list, her parents paid for them and they bounced around for an hour then went to the party room for pizza, cake and crap.

Parents spread out across three tables in the café up on the mezzanine. Some parents came solo, some brought another child as well as their own, but most came as couples. We all bought our own coffee etc and spent time socialising with each other. We paid for our other DC, aged eight and not invited to the party, to enter the venue and bounce around, then when the birthday group went to the party room we bought lunch for this DC, which she ate in the café with another older sibling she knew who was there in the same circumstances, and these two eight year olds then played with some of the younger siblings (aged two to three) also knocking around.

All absolutely normal around here.

I don’t want to supervise 30 kids on a bouncy castle so much prefer parents staying for a village hall party. I usually factor in siblings, and would try to include them when asked if we have space. I always check which kids are invited to what to make sure we don’t bring uninvited kids but usually it’s both older siblings and most of the kids friends parents are our friends so we do go together. Is that so unusual?

I was so surprised when this happened, DS1's fourth birthday, at our house, neighbour turned up with mum, dad, invited child plus younger sibling. They did bring me a bottle of wine and I didn't mind that much but there wasn't that much space in the house!

It’s normal here. Probably 99% of the parties are at the same soft play so you just pay for your child’s sibling as a paying guest.

Some may argue it would be entitled to expect the hosts to mind your child while you scarper. Unless the venue is very small I really don’t understand why it matters if both parents attend.

And parents need to witness their little angels having a wonderful time (and probs post it on insta).

Wonder if someone will do a study at some point and draw a parallel between all these kids whose parents attend their social events and the rise of social anxiety in young people.

I’d like to think my kid picked up some social coping skills by not having me hovering in the background all the time, dressing it up as “family time”.

I wouldn’t expect to supervise thirty kids in a soft play or similar tbh.

I like parties, it’s a good chance to chat to other mums and have a catch up. We aren’t hovering over our children, just not expecting other people to parent them. That’s very different to whole families turning up, and while it’s not something I’ve ever done it is more because parties were never my DHs style and he was quite happy for me to take both kids for a couple of hours while he sat at home.

I guess it depends on the venue - at soft play / trampoline park places I have taken a younger sibling and just paid for them to use the facilities just like everyone else there. Obviously they did't get food or a party bag but I would typically buy them a snack from the cafe when the party invitees eat.

If it's at someone's house then siblings have always been welcome. Same for parties in halls. We get on pretty well with the other parents so it's nice to chat etc.

Also the case when mine (now in their 20s) were at the party stage. It’s downright rude to have potentially 4 times the number turn up (2 parents and a sibling) as are invited.
It seems like entitlement hits every aspect of life!

Thank you. We were dressed up, handed the present then dropped at the door. Collected at the given time. Went home with a party bag. No one suffered. WTF is happening now.

'Family time'. Unless you are family friends with the hosts, it's not a jolly outing, it's supervising your DC. Considering it to be a nice family activity/needing to see your DC having fun just says 'sad sack' to me.

The parents invited kids to the party. The kids played games and had a birthday tea. The parents supervised. Then the invitees were collected and went home. How’s that entitled? It’s more entitled to see a kid’s party invitation as extended to you to get you out of the house for the afternoon.

It was all fields round ‘ere once …

Yeh and better for it

When my dc were small it was drop and run from 5, younger 1 parent stayed or asked you in advance if they could leave their child/bring a sibling. Didn’t see a single dad at any parties (this may be the difference, dads now want to come but don’t feel comfortable without their partners.

It was drop and run in the days when most parties were held at the child’s home. Parties have changed, is all, and it isn’t really fair to ask one set of parent to supervise up to thirty children. Or safe, really.

For real? You would invite 5 yr old Timmy to a birthday party and then judge his parents for dropping him off and then picking him up at the designated time? You would argue that accepting an invite and following its instructions is “entitled”? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

We say siblings welcome and ask the number of adults for catering. There is usually champagne/wine for adults and canapes/other food for them and then a children's birthday tea. Everyone seems to just do at home or halls so far rather than pay per child so siblings don't impact costs much.