To find it weird when whole families turn up to kids parties

[CarmexQueen]

When did it become the norm to turn up to a young child's party with both parents & siblings?

What ever happened to drop and go or if they are too young for that, one parent brings the child.

It seems that lots of people treat kids parties like a family day out these days. The last few I've been to had more adults than children!

Aibu to find this weird? Why would the other parent or carer not stay home with the uninvited siblings instead of forcing them on the bday child and organisers.

Honestly those couples who go to everything together (kids parties, school run, supermarket, doctor) get a bit of an eyebrow raise from me. It’s a bit “get a life”. Haven’t they got anything better to do?

We are still in the era of whole class parties with DC1. I always message in advanced for hall parties to check it’s okay for 3 yo to come too and stress a party bag and food isn’t expected. I’ll usually bring a packed lunch if it’s over a mealtime. If it’s soft play I just pay for separate entrance and separate food, I wouldn’t even ask as that’s very cheeky as they are usually pay per head.

I’ve never had any parent say no to bringing toddler to a hall party and there is usually food going in the bin at the end so he can have some party treats on top of what I have bought. It’s good because it means DH and I can get a bit of downtime each at the weekend. In turn I have always organised parties where siblings are welcome.

Obviously when parties shrink to boys only or select friends we’ll have to resume dividing and conquering!

Most people enjoy being with their partner and child/children. You're nothing special in that respect, BUT you are not both invited and codependent adults shouldn't outnumber the actual kids. It's about the Birthday child and not you and your partner. There is genuinely something really weird going on if you can't spend 2hrs apart for a kids Birthday Party that you're not invited to. Do something together afterwards?

Juat say thanks for dropping them off and please pick up at ....

Lots of other parents go together as couples too. These are hall parties so all the adults muck in helping with the food, making teas and tidying. My daughter has problems knowing when she needs the loo (Audhd) and won't let her dad take her to the loo or change her if necessary so I need to be there ideally just in case she has an accident. Plus we socialise with the other parents so it's a chance for a catch up. We wouldn't both go if it was at someone's house or somewhere with restricted places but we are not in a position to drop and go due to dd's additional needs.

I've never been to a party where the adults outnumber the kids, that's super dramatic 😂. We spend plenty of time away from
each other but i don't see the problem in 2
of us turning up to a softplay party. What an off thing to care about

I agree it is odd and that some people just can’t do anything alone. Like many id prefer to not go but suck it up for my kids.
I've held a few parties if needed people have text to ask to bring another child but that was due to childcare which was fine they didn’t eat party food or expect anything. Another time I held a party in a hall catering for the amount of kids attending then a family of 5 turned up and let their kids tuck in which I found really rude. They did not ask beforehand. We were literally in a leisure centre where there is super cheap cafe. I just would never be so rude.
I also think in venues it makes you look
cheeky as you’ve paid a set amount for so many kids and scared venue owner will think I’m the cf.

It's rude for anyone not specifically invited to turn up. Do these parents expect food and drink to be provided for them too?

How do you manage family time at someone else’s party? Surely the party should be about the children socialising together, not hanging out with mum and dad?

It really does baffle me how some couples can’t spend a moment apart and need to be mooning into each others eyes all weekend. Fml it’s an hour or two at the most. The only person I know who actually does this also ‘banned’ her husband from doing his hobby at the weekend as well

we only have one child but I could never get this excited about people bringing siblings to our birthday parties.

How would your child feel about having a lot of children s/he doesn't know and who are the wrong age to join in the games gatecrashing his/her party?

The only time this scenario has ever occurred to me is the mum was so helpful and efficient I couldn’t begrudge and extra party bag and some sandwiches

How can the adults not outnumber the kids if two parents accompany a child to a birthday party? Two is a bigger number than one.

Mine are mid 30s now, it was drop and run from 2- 3 at that time. My 2 eldest were invited together for one of the first, aged approx 2.5 and 3.5. Just after eldest started at the village playgroup. I was told afterwards that they had impeccable table manners, asking to leave the table, please, thank you, eating with mouth closed. They had numerous playdate invitations afterwards. Little sister got her turn when she got to same age with her own invitations, the boys did something else. Unless invitations specified sibling invitations they learnt they wouldn't be included every time. As for extended family, sod that!

It’s really not that deep 😂
As I’ve said, it’s very normal at the parties I’ve attended and ones that I’ve thrown myself. A complete non issue in most cases. And certainly nothing to do with being codependent and mooning. Christ, the lengths some people will go to to feel superior.

They love it - the more the merrier, and they don’t have to play with the siblings if they don’t want to. I still don’t get what the issue is…

For the same reason everyone has to go to the supermarket and how you see whole families together in A+E, does anyone remember a thread about the same thing and someone posted about going to A+E and there was a whole family eating a KFC bucket in the middle of the waiting area 🤣🤣

When I worked at Argos you would literally get the whole family come to pay then they would come to the collection desk (both parents together with their kids) and I remember there was a few instances where the parent would kick off coz we've put the toy down they've bought on the side and it's ruined it for them now coz it was for Xmas.... 🤨 erm... Honestly this baffles my brain!!! Why have BOTH parents bought the kids to the collection desk instead of one of you waiting outside with them if you didn't want them to see?? We are shop workers NOT mind readers and we can't play Santa Claus if we don't have a clue about it . 😱

Then don’t go to the party. It isn’t for your entertainment but your child’s. People are too nice should have sent you both packing.

That is just incredibly rude and more than a little odd. A child's party is not an extension of your family time. If you can't interrupt it, decline the invitation.

What age are we talking about? For us from age 5 it has been drop and go, maybe a couple of parents stick around if an extra pair of hands needed or if kid is particularly clingy or if soft play is somewhere kids could potentially “escape” from and get lost.

It depends on the party. If it’s a big venue where there are many other children such as a trampoline park, then I don’t the issue as long as the parents and other siblings don’t tuck into birthday party food etc. but it’s very different if it’s at the child’s house - that would be very entitled behaviour.

I understand wanting to spend time as a family at weekends, but needing to be permanently joined at the hip from Friday evening through to Sunday evening isn’t something I’d like at all, and seems very needy and possessive.

I think it's definitely a culture shift and it's best to expect it: add an extra sandwich tray and have that with tea and some biscuits for the adults set aside in the kitchen and let them know that it is for them. iyswim Then, have the kids party food etc set up at a table.

I think it's better or worse depending on the location. The only time we've done it was when it's at something like soft play and we've paid for the other one to go to the venue. Even then we'd split and one of us would go to the party and the other take the non-party child do our own thing.

Kids seem to be having big parties younger and younger.

When we were small it was once you started primary school, or maybe even the year after if your birthday was too early in the school year to know anyone well enough to have over unaccompanied. My own kids went to village hall drop off parties at around 4.5yrs (in school, so able to manage food and getting themselves to the loo).

My nieces and nephews are invited to nursery parties at around 2yrs old now, so obviously parents have to stay. By the time kids get to primary school it has become the culture where parties with the whole family are a social event for the parents as well, as they've been doing it for years

Oh god so weird! I have 2 years old so been so a few parties but was at one recently when kids were mostly 3 or 4 and both patents there. Is it not ok to drop and run when they get to this age now? I hate kids parties so hoping when kids get a bit more independent I won't have to stay at the party but dont know the ssocial etiquette of kids parties now? Surely by age 4 when they can use the loo on their own you dont need to stay?