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AIBU?

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Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

562 replies

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:13

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

OP posts:
Mammyloveswine · 26/07/2026 13:03

Ffs get rid! My partner lives an hour away in the arse-end of nowhere so loves staying at mine but he’s so respectful when he does!

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:05

If he dares to behave like that again then my poultry will be permanently re-aligned, I’ve made that very clear!

OP posts:
DaisyChain505 · 26/07/2026 13:07

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:05

If he dares to behave like that again then my poultry will be permanently re-aligned, I’ve made that very clear!

Well I’d start that now then @Heatwavefry

someone doesn’t act like this and then suddenly wake up one day and stop. If he actually loved and respected you he wouldn’t be doing it in the first place to be needed to be told to stop.

PetulaGordeno · 26/07/2026 13:10

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:05

If he dares to behave like that again then my poultry will be permanently re-aligned, I’ve made that very clear!

So you are staying with him? At 31 do you think you could build a future with him?
I have no idea why you would want to.
If you want to meet someone to build a life with, even if he now goes home when blackout drunk, you know he’s not going to change that?
And that is your future.

Over40Overdating · 26/07/2026 13:15

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:05

If he dares to behave like that again then my poultry will be permanently re-aligned, I’ve made that very clear!

There are many men you could be in a relationship with, without needing the riot act, ultimatums, or educating on how to behave like a grown man instead of a pig with no decency. He left you to scrub his semen off your sofa whilst he grovelled.

The next time he does this - and he will - expect the resentment he feels at you holding him to account to come out as well as even worse behaviour.

IDrinkTeaAllTheTime · 26/07/2026 13:20

FFS, why are your standards so low that you would even consider staying with him after this? How do you not have the complete ick? I would put money on him not changing, but he might just wait until you’re living together with a child or two thrown into the mix 🙄.

We’ve all had a few too many at times and embarrassed ourselves, but this is a repeat thing (at least the getting wasted once a month is); is that really what you want for yourself?

PrayForPlagues · 26/07/2026 13:30

God, why haven’t you dumped this disgusting arsehole?

Glittertwins · 26/07/2026 13:31

Even my late teen DD said this was vile behaviour and she wouldn’t stand for it

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:32

He has booked my favourite country pub for a roast later, so he’s at least trying to make amends!

OP posts:
FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 26/07/2026 13:36

A roast definitely makes up for jizzing on your sofa.

Definitely.

tiptoptoemaytoe · 26/07/2026 13:37

Urgh. What a wanker (literally)

chedderland · 26/07/2026 13:37

I’m sure he’ll never jizz on your sofa again

chedderland · 26/07/2026 13:38

PrayForPlagues · 26/07/2026 13:30

God, why haven’t you dumped this disgusting arsehole?

Some people really are desperate not to be alone.

PrayForPlagues · 26/07/2026 13:38

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:32

He has booked my favourite country pub for a roast later, so he’s at least trying to make amends!

You are a mug. You need to raise your standards.

ThatCyanCat · 26/07/2026 13:39

You say he's been coming back hammered regularly for a year. What makes you think it's going to change this time? What makes him think your response to it will change?

A pub roast is an easy performative action that changes nothing. Is he actually going to change his behaviour?

PrayForPlagues · 26/07/2026 13:39

Glittertwins · 26/07/2026 13:31

Even my late teen DD said this was vile behaviour and she wouldn’t stand for it

Good for her for knowing her worth and having standards!

BusyMum47 · 26/07/2026 13:40

Ugh. I’d have the raging ‘ick’ & no amount of roast dinners on the planet could make it go away!! He’d be gone.

Whowhenwhat · 26/07/2026 13:41

You're standards are non existent.

He should buy you a new sofa not just a roast lunch.

Once he's done that, dump him.

Omgblueskys · 26/07/2026 13:43

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:32

He has booked my favourite country pub for a roast later, so he’s at least trying to make amends!

Wow op, he turned up drunk, wanted you to relieve him, of course you didn't but he did anyway over your sofa, so now your going to eat a meal with him, just how op,

Basically he can treat you and your home with no respect what's so ever, but hay he's buying you Sunday lunch,

No change here then he can fo has he's likes ,
No boundaries op,

grumpygrape · 26/07/2026 13:45

Sigh, I'm getting deja vu here.

peachie82 · 26/07/2026 13:45

The mere sight of him would make me feel sick, there’s no chance I could sit and eat a meal with him. Honestly there are decent men out there, don’t settle for a drunken, sex pest wanker.

justthecat · 26/07/2026 13:51

Have you even taken your key back ?

VickyEadie · 26/07/2026 13:52

I only wish I'd put money on the outcome...

IDrinkTeaAllTheTime · 26/07/2026 13:53

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:32

He has booked my favourite country pub for a roast later, so he’s at least trying to make amends!

🤦🏻‍♀️🙄

ilovemybluesharpie · 26/07/2026 13:54

He needs to go home after a night out, not stay at yours just because its closer to the pub. You don't live together, you don't need to put up with this behaviour.

Think seriously about ever moving in with him

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