Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

[Heatwavefry]

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

Oh your favourite country pub. As a treat. Outstanding.

Hands up those whose partners book their favourite country pub as a treat, not for being a horrible man, but simply because they like their partner?

(not me, I’m single, but that’s not the point 🤣)

Anyway, enjoy your carrots.

Absolutely this. it turns my stomach what he did, you had to clean his 'mess' up, how could you sit and eat a meal with him. Urgh

What is it a roast dinner makes amends for? Him getting blackout drunk? Him wanting you to service him like you're an appliance? Him treating your home like a flop house? You cleaning up his dlerm from your sofa because he couldn't be arsed?

You say you'll leave the next time it happens. But what if that's when you've bought a house together, have paid for a wedding or are pregnant? Don't wait for that.

What is it a roast dinner makes amends for? Him getting blackout drunk? Him wanting you to service him like you're an appliance? Him treating your home like a flop house? You cleaning up his sperm from your sofa because he couldn't be arsed?

You say you'll leave the next time it happens. But what if that's when you've bought a house together, have paid for a wedding or are pregnant? Don't wait for that.

Don’t be ridiculous! Never give a black out drunken user a second chance. Look up cycles of abuse and just substitute gets drunk/paws me for sex/ vomits etc…for the word abuse. Cycle starts with “everything is fine” then “tension builds” then “incident/blow up” then “collapse/apologies” then honeymoon period then the cycle starts again.

🤣🤣🤣

You're pathetic. Grow a spine and dump him.

Perhaps OP can find some change down the back of the... never mind.

At least make him clean it up before you kick him out.

Im sure every time you look at the jizz stain on your sofa it'll remind you of the lovely roast you had #makingmemories.

And this is how the cycle will go. He acts like a pig, you get mad, he does something as simple as taking you out for lunch to butter you up, all is forgiven. He acts like a good boy for a few weeks and it all begins again.

This £15 Sunday roast is obviously just to appease you…. until the next time it happens - you’ve set a very low bar.
Has he also booked a professional deep clean of your sofa?
You really don’t need a man like this in your life do you?

It’s what they do, the pattern is already established and will continue. This IS your life already with him, it won’t change.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5493969-dh-hid-betting-windfall?page=37&reply=150821403

reminds me of this thread 🤣

Best of luck OP. I’m glad you have a plan. I’d urge you to stick to it if this does happen again. Sadly these things have a way of festering (and getting worse) and from what you’re saying it’s already been going on for quite a while so it wasn’t a bizarre one off. Only you know if the relationship is worth your patience with this. Your partner might be determined to never repeat his disgusting behaviour again, or he might quickly repeat it. Time will tell and I wish you the best of luck and all the strength.

He woke you up to “see to him”. He then wanked on your sofa because you wouldn’t and then did a half arsed attempt to clean it. And apparently doesn’t remember any of it at all. He stays at yours in a complete state regularly. And you were so 😳 you posted on mumsnet about it.

But he’s booked a country pub so that’s ok.

Definitely buy a house with him.

This can’t be real surely?

Well long may the efforts continue. You must make your own choices. I would say revisit this thread, if he doesn't maintain better behavior.

As long as he isn’t going to ask you to sort him out afterwards. It’s a bit more messy in a Gastropub.

OP, you deserve better. Behaving like this over a sustained period of time then 'making up for it' by doing things he should do anyway (booking your favourite place for lunch) is not acceptable. People in relationships should do nice things for each other as standard, not as a reward for putting up with horrific behaviour. I am begging you, please see that you deserve better than this. Even this one instance is enough disrespect to show you who he is and what you will be resigning yourself to if you stay with him. Please, please try to see that. Don't let him doing one semi thoughtful thing as a way to crawl back into your good books distract you from the horrendous way he has treated you, more than once now. You deserve better.

I’d be telling him where to stick his paltry offer of meat and two veg 🤭 well done for allowing him to think such disgusting behaviour is acceptable to women

You want him “gone” as in out of your life right? Please mean out of your life.

Can’t even begin to describe how much this behaviour would completely put me off him.

This makes it worse. If he was mortified and endeavoured to clean up properly that’s one thing. But he is an adult man, in a relationship acting like a child.

Edit : Misread.

Are you joking? Maybe you deserve your soiled sofa.