Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

[Heatwavefry]

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

In case you need to hear it from another woman.

Throw this clown back and dont listen to any of the noise he is making around this.

The fact he is willing to behave THIS poorly and he hasn't even "locked it in" via cohabitibg and / or marriage and / or children is telling.

Expect this to decline further. This is sichca gross disrespectful thing to do.
He does not respect you.

A relationship without respect is no relationship at all.

I really hope you break up with him.
This situation won't improve.

Bicarbonate of soda will get rid of the stain IME. As per others, do not put up with this. It is not funny, it is gross. Did he at any point in the morning think about his mess or ever offer to clear up? No? That would tell me a lot.

Memory blackout.

He has a drinking problem. Doesn't matter if it's once a month, he's 31, he should be over this carryon.

He needs to go off and grow up, address his drinking, and you don't need to wait around.

You are worth more than this clown.

Once off maybe fine

but regularly - gross

hed be gone

Yuck. So not only did he wake you up and expect you to service him like you're a piece of meat rather than a person, but when you refused he jizzed on your sofa to punish you for it. This man is a piece of crap who doesn't actually like or respect you. Break up with him.

Why are you allowing yourself to be treated like this op? It’s not normal behaviour at all.

Johnson85 is a guy, hence why he doesn’t care and believes it ok to jizz over peoples property and a woman should clean it up. It’s interesting we cannot even have a forum called “mumsnet” without an undermining guy..

No woman with healthy boundaries would ever think this is ok.

Drugs are most likely in the mix.

Raise your bar honestly he doesn’t even live with you kick him out for good

Jizz or piss, that man would never cross my threshold again.

He's not coming home tho is he? He doesn't live at yours. Send him packing

Just imagine getting up to that sight with a toddler wanting CBeebies at 6am

You would quite rightly hate him.

Sounds like a right catch.. 🙄

Oh Jesus no. Deeply deeply Disrespectful to come to your house pissed, to wake you up and make noise, to ”expect” to be serviced like some unpaid prostitute and then the cherry on top to make your sofa some kind of teenage boy sock.

I am nearly vomiting reading your post. You are nothing to him, except a useful location and sex. He is using you. Sorry OP.

Say goodbye to this absolute (and literal) wanker. If he’s likely to become aggressive avoid further confrontation but get the key from him (while asleep?), ask him to leave (or wait until he’s left) and then let him know it’s over.

NEVER GIVE ANYONE THE OPPORTUNITY TO DISRESPECT YOU AGAIN.

Get your key back. You don’t need to decide today what you will do but take back the key.

I would tell him he has to replace the sofa ,give you his key ,pay for locks to be changed and then leave for good. You deserve a man who doesn't need to drink to enjoy himself and you deserve a decent and loyal man in your life. If you move in together could you imagine what he would be like. He needs to go to AA meetings. He can't handle alcohol. If you stay with him he will keep disrespecting your place. Throw him back OP and give yourself the chance to meet someone who is a truly loving person.

Don’t live with this man. Get rid.

@Heatwavefry
So what happened? Did he leave or did you cave?

That is what I was just wondering. It has gone all quiet. Please don't say you gave in and let him stay and carried on as if all was normal?

So he came back to yours, wasted, expecting to use you as nothing more than a hole to get off into. And because you declined, he had a wank on your sofa. Is that right?

Definitely stick to your guns. And if you decide you want to stay in this relationship, make sure some ground rules are set and he calms this monthly event right down and DEFINITELY doesn't come to yours after

Absolutely! A Prince amongst men 👑

his appendage must surely be solid gold and encrusted with precious jewels,

He did leave, not before I read him the riot act and made it clear I won’t stand for any further repeats. Actions will speak louder than words going forward.

I wonder why you did not dump him on the spot. I know you deserve better than this sad excuse of a drunk.

Sometimes you just think ‘why do I need to ‘read him the riot act’, why isn’t he grown up enough to realise by himself?’.

Don't get into the trap of mummying him and ‘telling him off’ like he’s a wayward teenager but it’s okay because he’ll grow out of his teenage phase. He’s not a teenager, this is him all grown up.

This is who he is and he won’t be changing and if he does it will be for a small amount of time until it happens again. It may be once every few months and you’ll tell yourself that you’ll just accept that it happens because the rest of the time you’re good.

Don’t settle.