I assumed my children were included in brother’s barbecue invitation

357 replies

Notmotherofflowergirls · 24/07/2026 13:16

So you receive a text from your brother himself the father of a one year old, asking if you and your husband want to come to a barbecue on a Sunday afternoon.

Would you expect that your two children were included in the invitation?

OP posts:

NewUserName2025 · 26/07/2026 07:45

KiddyMcKiddly · 26/07/2026 07:05

Also babies are different to children in that they are not mobile and don't eat the same food as the adults, so I can see why he would have your children in a different "category".

OP brother has a 1 year old - even a newly turned 1 year old is quite possible walking, and most at that age are eating the same food as the adults (albeit offered/cut differently).

It’s not ‘crossed wires’ to not include 7 and 10 year old niblings in an invite for a Sunday afternoon barbecue - it’s incredibly odd.

Calliopespa · 26/07/2026 10:02

TeaCupTinsel · 26/07/2026 06:13

Honestly, I feel like your brother is a bit of an arse. If my sibling or parents message to invite us to a BBQ, it's always that we are all invited... it would be a rare exception the other way and it would be made expressly clear e.g. this is an adults only event.

However, I think that happened once for a joint hen/stag do, certainly not a random Sunday.

It feels like a really odd dynamic and the fact he gets belligerent if anyone calls to check and refers you back to the specific names in the message is weird. I've never heard of any family functioning in this way and it feels so stressful that if you aren't sure you can't double check, like one of those automated phone menus that keeps sending you back to the start again. It would drive me up the wall.

I think it's incredibly odd behaviour. I also don't understand the 'leaving out' anyway. There were other children there so it wasn't a specifically adult event either.

It feels at odds with general communication, if we aren't sure about anything in our family, the first thing we do is pick up the phone, figure that out and probably chat a bit longer too. Yes...different families do things differently but it feels jarring and clearly you and your Mum struggle with it too.

like one of those automated phone menus that keeps sending you back to the start again.

That's such a great analogy! It's exactly like that and really pompous of him OP, like he is teaching a five year old reading comprehension.

Tamtim · 26/07/2026 10:18

You have children. He should have specified it was an adult (and baby) event only.

RisingSunn · 26/07/2026 13:52

I find this so strange. Why on earth would he assume you would leave your young children behind ?!
So odd.

Haveanopinion · 26/07/2026 18:09

Seems very strange that a family member would invite you to an afternoon barbecue where other children are present but your own children are not invited! And then when they arrive they are not welcome to join the main event but are ushered aside to keep quiet watching a film? I would be upset if this happened to me and would definitely think twice about accepting future invitations. I get that some events are intended to be an adult only occasion but when that is clearly not the case I would either accept an invitation to my family unit as one or I would not want to go

salsapasta · 26/07/2026 23:14

Afternoon one, yes, evening one best to ask

KitFox · 28/07/2026 10:12

It'll be interesting to see how things change when his own child is older and needs entertaining when he's hosting events. Probably be desperate for its older cousins to be there.

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