To expect 15 year old DD to share a room with the family on holiday?

[NotTonightDeidre]

It's actually is DH being unreasonable. He thinks DD (15) should be happy to share a room with us all (me, him, DD2).

She doesn't want to share a room with us (she will share with me & sister, not her dad).

I can see where she's coming from but DH doesn't see her p.o.v.

There are other options. Last year we paid an extra £70 for a “suite” basically a bigger room with a partition wall in the middle that separated the beds. An aparthotel type place would indeed add hundreds (which could be out of budget) but not an extra 1k. An air b&b with a one bedroom rather than a studio wouldn’t be an extra 1k. A villa or another room, might or might not. But at least have a look at options, talk to the DD , discuss together, show her. Not “you’re either going or staying behind because I’m paying and I said so.”.

Non issue for me, my teen DDs share a family room with DH and I for weekend breaks etc. If we are going for longer and can afford it then an extra room is preferable but not essential.

DH is being completely unreasonable. You need a separate room for the girls.

Not necessarily weird. Maybe she liked to chill in just a towel after a shower, maybe she wants to be able to try on several outfits, maybe she sleeps naked/in skimpy clothes, maybe she doesn’t want her dad seeing her underwear in the suitcase, maybe she’s just really, really private, maybe the dad is the issue and he’s quite loose and free with boundaries and states of undress (not in a creepy/pervy way) , maybe the parents can’t help themselves from being intimate(so many posters mentioned that.. it’s a week ffs!) , maybe he simply snores too loudly (farts a lot)and she just won’t be able to sleep , and a million other reasons.

Periods wise , the biggest worry I found girls have is around staining/flooding , especially the sheets at night. But again, some girls are just more private. Maybe she doesn’t want to be rooting for pads and things in her bag with her dad there. Of course, he doesn’t actually give a shit , but teens are weird creatures. And various other things.

I find all that a bit weird frankly.

Asking your parents to spend a lot more on a holiday because you can't be bothered to put clothes on or discreetly get your sanpro out is beyond entitled.

I personally wouldn't want to spend a lot of time with my mum or sister hanging out in towels or skimpy outfits, if this is it, she needs to understand that other women don't necessarily fancy seeing her naked either.

As I said, I do understand more generally wanting your own space and privacy - it's the fixation on the dad that I think is weird.

Absolutely fine. What a precious madam she is. Does she want you to pay for 2 rooms?
Surely she changes in the bathroom, and she shares a bed with either you or her sister?

what’s her problem. She’s just being a brat. No reason for her not to share.

We’re sharing a room on our holiday this year and it didn’t even occur to me me my teens might not be comfortable with this. I’ve just asked the 14 year old and she said your daughter is lucky she’s going on holiday

But teenagers are so different and my other one could give me a very different answer!!

If we had to do two rooms we probably couldn’t afford the holidays we go on tbh.

Not everyones tents have rooms, ours never used to and forgive me for not thinking that a toilet block and shower block is 'private'.

For the whole holiday, it is unreasonably for a teenager to have to share a family room with parents. It's fine for a single night and we will do this if e.g. we need a night in a Premier Inn on our way to or from a distant holiday. But for the actual main holiday, you need more space and all crowding into one room is unpleasant and not relaxing. We often book accommodation that officially sleeps twice as many as we actually are just to ensure that everyone has the space they need. Can you not book a "suite" option where there are one or two side-rooms off the main room?

What holidays are you going on where a room for a week costs 1000k? You can genuinely get a whole house for that.

Kids don’t really care about luxury.

Now we know right? So many ‘miserable teen on holiday’ threads and ‘our teen won’t come on holiday with us’ it all makes sense.

"Periods wise , the biggest worry I found girls have is around staining/flooding , especially the sheets at night."

I agree, nobody wants that and it often happened to me as a youngster, I never had regular periods and they were heavy.

you make it sound as though people who go camping have zero choice about which tent they buy. If you have a tent without rooms, that's because you've chosen it.

The privacy of the toilet/shower block depends on the campsite. Which, agian, you can choose if you are "fussy" about what you want. Although tbh it's generlaly easy enough to pick a quiet time to use them even if you pick a campsite with big blocks.

Exactly. As a teen, first couple of days would be really heavy flooding in the morning and my DD had that as well. There’s much better range of period products now that’s there was in the 80s though.

I don’t think you can just make a declaration like that tbh. Everyone holidays in different ways. We really are only in our room to sleep so why would we waste money on two rooms to do this?

People generally set a holiday budget.
Then they set their desired criteria for the holiday.
unless mega rich, they decide what they want to compromise on.

One of my crieteria would be not to have everyone in one room.
That might mean that we have to have cheaper accommodation or go to a less exotic location.

Other people will choose to have one room and go to a nicer place.

I can't imagine spending £1K to have 4 people in the same hotel room for a week. But clearly you are happy to do that.

Maybe her dad likes hanging around in his pants , scratching his arse and constantly farting?

And a myriad of other possible scenarios. How can you so adamantly say there’s no possible reason for her not to want to share with her dad?

Really? You can’t possibly understand why a female might be more comfortable around other females rather than a male, even one related to her ?

Since OP has not been back you really have no idea if she is being a brat or whether she has no reason to share.

My parents had the common sense to plan holidays where we didn't have to share a room with them. As a result, we didn't stay in hotels.

I have done the same with my own family. Sharing a room with teenagers, who want to stay up later than me, get up later etc is not a holiday for any of us. A holiday needs to work for everyone.

At some point, adults need to listen to their children and recognise that they are expessing a boundary that they are no longer comfortable sharing with their parents and plan accordingly. Ultimately, the reasons the child has set the boundary do not matter.

No, I don't understand.

Can you explain it to me?

I am equally comfortable with my close male relatives and my close female relatives. TBH I am more comfortable sharing a room with my dad than my mum. Equally comfortable with my brother and sister.

But I wouldn't spend hours preening myself in a towel whoever I was sharing with as that seems a bit weird.

It would be pointless to explain because you’d either reply that YOU wouldn’t care or YOU wouldn’t do it. It’s not all about you, but you obviously can’t see past yourself and your experience.

And if it was room sharing or no holiday at all?

I've never spent 1k on holiday accomodation in my life.

Like where in school holidays