Can cake really be offensive?

[ThisWildHedgehog]

Can cake really be offensive?

So my husband bought a really nice celebration cake over the weekend. It was large, cost £20, and was absolutely delicious, but there was too much for us to eat without some going to waste.

As we were seeing my MIL, FIL and SIL, I cut the cake in half and took it round to them in the box.

My only thought was, “It’s a lovely cake, and there’s enough to share.”

When I gave it to my MIL, I said, “We’ve brought you this cake because it’s really lovely and there’s enough to share.” She replied, “That’s fine.” I thought that was a really bizarre and ungrateful response, so I said, “Well, hopefully you’ll enjoy it.” She didn’t respond to that comment at all.

Anyway, once we got home, I said to DH that I felt a bit deflated because his mum seemed so dismissive about the cake. He said, “You shouldn’t have taken it, as it’ll be taken the wrong way.”

I asked how on earth giving someone cake could be taken badly, and he said that because they’re all a bit on the larger side, it would come across as, “Fat people like cake - here’s my leftovers.” 😳

Surely not?! They’ve known me for 10 years, and we’ve often had cake together. How could that possibly be what they thought?

Gosh, I’m praying you all think I’m not being unreasonable and that there’s no way I’ve offended anyone by giving them the cake!

I'd just 'smile', thank profusely and say how much you will look forward to a piece later, than chuck it in the bin when they've left. Or, cut into quarters and freeze it for another occasion. Someone will eat it.

Shop bought cake is always over sweet and full of long life chemicals. If someone made me a homemade low sugar/ diet recipe, knowing I'm trying to lose weight, I'd be very grateful and eat some.i

It’s not because it’s scummy hand me downs. It’s because it’s dried out supermarket cake filled with fillers and preservatives and not overly nice when fresh cut. Supermarket cake tastes weird to me.

But obviously I would say thanks and keep that thought to myself. MIL may just have been busy and not really thought about the random Tupperware she’s been handed.

Unless they’re diabetic (have I missed this?) there’s nothing offensive about cake. And even if they are diabetic, the polite thing to do is to thank you for your thoughtfulness and say we’d love to enjoy this, but we’re sorry we can’t. Thank you anyway. If people are offended by cake, they’ll be offended by everything and nothing. It’s not you, it’s them.

Sounds like you’ve been on MN too long! I sometimes have to stop and think about these things as well. 😄

Yeah I'm in team: "I don't want your leftover cake" thanks but no thanks...

I wouldn't be rude about it, but I wouldn't be "aw you're so thoughtful, thank you so much, so kind" - you didn't go out of your way to bring a cake - you didn't think oh, I know what, I'm going to MILs and I'll go get her a cake as I know she likes cake

Your husband bought you cake, it was too big, you couldn't eat it all so you gave the leftovers to your in-laws, that's how it looks. Because: that's how it was.

No the OP hasn't said they're diabetic. Not that its relevant. Only on MN have I seen that people with diabetes never eat cake or other sugar.

It's fine in moderation, whatever type of diabetes you have and not everyone diagnosed with type 2 diabetes suddenly stop eating a poor diet. Some will but many won't.

How big was the cake?
Was half the equivalent of two large pieces, so that the "We couldn't possibly eat it all" seemed very performative with heavy subtext? 🤔

If someone brought me cake I'd be surprised and appreciative as long as it was fresh and not a couple days old having sat out and put in the fridge a few times. IME, people often bring left over slab cakes from parties to work on Monday mornings and no one complains.
It's cake!!!! 😛

lol, in answering to your question, YES!!! It seems cake can be seen as offensive. Sadly.

If I or anyone gave my Mum a cake it would come flying back overhead followed by a heated argument!

She’s type 2 diabetic and is forever rowing with people who try to gift her sugar in any form.

She still eats plenty of sugar though when no one is looking.

How dare you give cake, lol! Now you know OP.

The OP linked it upthread. It says serves 16 on the box. While that may be optimistic, there would be at least 8-12 good sized slices so I can see how they had a couple of slices each and there would still plenty left.

What doesn't seemed to have been explained is why the DH bought a large 'party' cake when there was only two of them at home. M&S do a range of smaller nice cakes.

This one is similar and has better reviews.

M&S Lemon & Raspberry Cake - Ocado

And they could have got some meringues to put on top if that was the attraction.

This seems like the perfect opportunity for you to go round their house bearing a custard pie, and when they answer the door, whap it in their face in time-honoured sitcom style

Ah I see. That makes sense. Potential sabotage for a person making important lifestyle changes if the changes are known about. Prior to reading this comment I had no idea how giving cake could be offensive but yup, if it's unsupportive to needed changes, I get it.

That M&S cake is flipping divine. It's been a staple in our house for a while, though less so recently as DH and I both on Mounjaro 😆

It they are on the larger size then surely they are more likely to be happy about cake??

I really hope this is a joke post.