Can cake really be offensive?

[ThisWildHedgehog]

Can cake really be offensive?

So my husband bought a really nice celebration cake over the weekend. It was large, cost £20, and was absolutely delicious, but there was too much for us to eat without some going to waste.

As we were seeing my MIL, FIL and SIL, I cut the cake in half and took it round to them in the box.

My only thought was, “It’s a lovely cake, and there’s enough to share.”

When I gave it to my MIL, I said, “We’ve brought you this cake because it’s really lovely and there’s enough to share.” She replied, “That’s fine.” I thought that was a really bizarre and ungrateful response, so I said, “Well, hopefully you’ll enjoy it.” She didn’t respond to that comment at all.

Anyway, once we got home, I said to DH that I felt a bit deflated because his mum seemed so dismissive about the cake. He said, “You shouldn’t have taken it, as it’ll be taken the wrong way.”

I asked how on earth giving someone cake could be taken badly, and he said that because they’re all a bit on the larger side, it would come across as, “Fat people like cake - here’s my leftovers.” 😳

Surely not?! They’ve known me for 10 years, and we’ve often had cake together. How could that possibly be what they thought?

Gosh, I’m praying you all think I’m not being unreasonable and that there’s no way I’ve offended anyone by giving them the cake!

I packed up half a traditional cake I'd made when seeing my parents round a common UK hoilday - mentioned I was bring it and they were apparently prepared to be offended - then got upset one of kids was travel sick all over it which also upset them.

Sometimes you can't win. You'll know for next time.

(the exception being if you knew they were trying to lose weight - I have family who then suddenly insist on bring calorifc gifts over - which isn't the case here apaprently).

Your inlaws are odd,so are the people on here who don't eat left overs. It was half a cake, not scraped leftovers from their plates.

Cool. Doesn't change my reply.

Left over cake?

I'd heard of such things but never actually thought it was possible.

In hindsight maybe two generous slices would have been better? Then the vibes would be sharing instead of leftovers. Anyway, it’s done now, try not to worry.

OH FFS.

By this rationale any present is offensive isn't it?

Cake or chocolates - "you clearly think we are fatties"

Bath stuff/perfume/body lotion "you must think we smell and have dry cracked skin"

Clothing "so you are saying our fashion sense is so awful you have to buy us clothes?"

Book "you think we are uneducated do you?"

Cash "how offensive and tacky to give us money - are you suggesting we are poor?"

Where does the offence taking end????

OH FFS.

By this rationale any present is offensive isn't it?

Cake or chocolates - "you clearly think we are fatties"

Bath stuff/perfume/body lotion "you must think we smell and have dry cracked skin"

Clothing "so you are saying our fashion sense is so awful you have to buy us clothes?"

Book "you think we are uneducated do you?"

Cash "how offensive and tacky to give us money - are you suggesting we are poor?"

Where does the offence taking end????

OH FFS.

By this rationale any present is offensive isn't it?

Cake or chocolates - "you clearly think we are fatties"

Bath stuff/perfume/body lotion "you must think we smell and have dry cracked skin"

Clothing "so you are saying our fashion sense is so awful you have to buy us clothes?"

Book "you think we are uneducated do you?"

Cash "how offensive and tacky to give us money - are you suggesting we are poor?"

Where does the offence taking end????

Surely, by your reasoning, the cake becomes "leftovers" the moment someone takes the first slice?!

Or is it moving the cake from one place to another that contaminates it?

What are the ramifications of this when going on a picnic?

Your thinking is strange and precious, but I daresay you'll defend it vigorously 😄

Can’t believe people are thinking this as leftovers that they will bin. MIL and DM always take home some Christmas cake, Simnel cake and in fact any cake they have enjoyed at our house and we have some to spare. Hopefully, they don’t chuck it in the bin when they get home. I do always ask if they want some first, hopefully they are not just being polite then chucking it!

Can’t believe people are thinking this as leftovers that they will bin. MIL and DM always take home some Christmas cake, Simnel cake and in fact any cake they have enjoyed at our house and we have some to spare. Hopefully, they don’t chuck it in the bin when they get home. I do always ask if they want some first, hopefully they are not just being polite then chucking it!

Surely, by your reasoning, the cake becomes "leftovers" the moment someone takes the first slice?!

Or is it moving the cake from one place to another that contaminates it?

What are the ramifications of this when going on a picnic?

Your thinking is strange and precious, but I daresay you'll defend it vigorously 😄

I did similar with my left over sponge wedding cake. Gave some to my parents and in-laws who appreciated it, my sister did not. She thanked me but was silent. The next time I saw her I asked if she enjoyed the cake. She said it was obvious that I was trying to make her fat?!!! Never shared any more treats with her again!!! You did a nice thing. They didn’t appreciate it so don’t bother in future.

I did similar with my left over sponge wedding cake. Gave some to my parents and in-laws who appreciated it, my sister did not. She thanked me but was silent. The next time I saw her I asked if she enjoyed the cake. She said it was obvious that I was trying to make her fat?!!! Never shared any more treats with her again!!! You did a nice thing. They didn’t appreciate it so don’t bother in future.

I did similar with my left over sponge wedding cake. Gave some to my parents and in-laws who appreciated it, my sister did not. She thanked me but was silent. The next time I saw her I asked if she enjoyed the cake. She said it was obvious that I was trying to make her fat?!!! Never shared any more treats with her again!!! You did a nice thing. They didn’t appreciate it so don’t bother in future.

I did similar with my left over sponge wedding cake. Gave some to my parents and in-laws who appreciated it, my sister did not. She thanked me but was silent. The next time I saw her I asked if she enjoyed the cake. She said it was obvious that I was trying to make her fat?!!! Never shared any more treats with her again!!! You did a nice thing. They didn’t appreciate it so don’t bother in future.

I did similar with my left over sponge wedding cake. Gave some to my parents and in-laws who appreciated it, my sister did not. She thanked me but was silent. The next time I saw her I asked if she enjoyed the cake. She said it was obvious that I was trying to make her fat?!!! Never shared any more treats with her again!!! You did a nice thing. They didn’t appreciate it so don’t bother in future.

I did similar with my left over sponge wedding cake. Gave some to my parents and in-laws who appreciated it, my sister did not. She thanked me but was silent. The next time I saw her I asked if she enjoyed the cake. She said it was obvious that I was trying to make her fat?!!! Never shared any more treats with her again!!! You did a nice thing. They didn’t appreciate it so don’t bother in future.

My MiL would not eat shop bought cake.

We organised a small gathering for her 70th birthday. We told her we’d sort all the food & cake and not to worry. We ordered a big cake from M&S, white with silver & pink writing “Happy 70th birthday Xxx”. She still made her own cake.

If ok, will send you a message with my address - any leftover cake in future would be received with gratitude and a big smile at mine. Cake is god!

Weird response from in-laws, ah well, never mind. Can't please them all!

Bring it round here. I fancy a nice piece of cake.

Of course you aren't being unreasonable! 🤣

This. Maybe if you'd have cut them some slices and wrapped them up in serviettes like at a children's birthday party, they'd have received it more graciously?

But I can't be the only person who'd love to know what this really nice cake was?

@ThisWildHedgehog YANBU but as an important side bar, please can you tell us where you managed to find a “glorious” cake for £20 and what was it like?

I can think of lots of ways cake could be offensive -

1. Rude slogan on it / decorations that are political etc given to someone with the opposite views
2. Given to someone you know is dieting
3. Given to someone you know has allergies to the ingredients
4. Cake is mouldy
5. Cake was originally for a party you didn't invite them to, even though they'd have liked to come.

I'm sure I could think of more if I tried!

But personally I love being given cake!
Give it to someone more appreciative next time. Or freeze it.

https://www.ocado.com/products/m-s-raspberry-ripple-cake/650831011?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic_shopping&utm_campaign=organic_shopping&srsltid=AfmBOoqMqq36d9ZJOQZ3B8V8NtnxGchaCG914njf4FC_oRX7fCCC1FwnTjw

The little meringue bits were absolutely wonderful 🥰