Can cake really be offensive?

[ThisWildHedgehog]

Can cake really be offensive?

So my husband bought a really nice celebration cake over the weekend. It was large, cost £20, and was absolutely delicious, but there was too much for us to eat without some going to waste.

As we were seeing my MIL, FIL and SIL, I cut the cake in half and took it round to them in the box.

My only thought was, “It’s a lovely cake, and there’s enough to share.”

When I gave it to my MIL, I said, “We’ve brought you this cake because it’s really lovely and there’s enough to share.” She replied, “That’s fine.” I thought that was a really bizarre and ungrateful response, so I said, “Well, hopefully you’ll enjoy it.” She didn’t respond to that comment at all.

Anyway, once we got home, I said to DH that I felt a bit deflated because his mum seemed so dismissive about the cake. He said, “You shouldn’t have taken it, as it’ll be taken the wrong way.”

I asked how on earth giving someone cake could be taken badly, and he said that because they’re all a bit on the larger side, it would come across as, “Fat people like cake - here’s my leftovers.” 😳

Surely not?! They’ve known me for 10 years, and we’ve often had cake together. How could that possibly be what they thought?

Gosh, I’m praying you all think I’m not being unreasonable and that there’s no way I’ve offended anyone by giving them the cake!

You did nothing wrong, OP, but all families are bat-shit in different ways, so it's always best to check with a partner before any dealings with their family.

Well it isnt your money being wasted. Why the need to chastise OP for spending her own money?

Looks lovely. I can’t believe all the po-faced comments you’ve had.

It’s normal in my famiky to share food. I’ve been known to drop off half a pizza to my sister and she does similar.

File it under “what the fuck is wrong with some people” and think of it no further.

Would you give heroin to a heroin addict or a beer to a recovering alcoholic. Your actions show just how callous you are and you really should be ashamed of yourself. Giving cake to a fat person is a real insult. I cannot believe you so lack any insight into how offensive this is.

You took the words out of my mouth! Not a fan of shop-bought cake normally

Is this sarcasm? Because it needs to be stronger these days. Most people will think you actually believe this.

😂😂

It was a kind gesture. When my kids had birthday parties I would always save a big wedge of birthday cake for my mum, dad and in laws. My mum in particular would be disappointed if she didn't get a slice 🍰
Maybe the dismissive behaviour was linked to something entirely different going off that day.

OP, as demonstrated by some of the batshit answers you've had, some people are just a bit strange. The best thing to do is roll your eyes, laugh and move on. Oh, and dont share cake with them again.

Free cake!!!

I might have to venture out into the sunshine to buy cake, I now have a craving for a large slice of cake with a cup of tea after reading this thread! Luckily the shop is only a short walk away but if I melt into a puddle in the heat it'll be your fault @ThisWildHedgehog

Your in-laws are mad to not appreciate the gesture and the chance to have some cake.

I can see both sides, lots of times I would absolutely love someone to bring me cake. But then others I might be a bit annoyed as I would feel obligated to eat it/ would feel bad throwing it away but might have lots of other things that also needed eating, especially if I had sorted cake myself.

Odd reaction as my MIL would have appreciated the thought. For future reference I’ve found you can cut it and freeze it in slices. It can be defrosted slowly or warmed in the microwave and eaten with ice-cream and fruit. Yum.

Could have been worse, could have brought them over a leftover salad. Then they'd really be offended!

I’ve never actually heard of left-over cake! In our house it’s just called ‘cake’. Some very strange responses on here. Hey ho. You live and learn OP. Don’t bother next time. If you really can’t get through cakes you buy, either stick them in the freezer for another time or send them to me. Happy to send my address and cover postage 🤣

They’re utter weirdos, don’t let them make you feel bad about a kind gesture.

And here we have today's front runner in the 'sarcasm or MN lunacy' daily guessing game.

It was a lovely thing to do. Maybe they were put out you didn't bring them a whole cake🤷‍♀️
Don't sweat it- they are weird about your kind offer.

To be extra sure of causing offence, add in a referral code for WLIs.

Next time bring it to me- looks delicious😉

If someone brought me cake I'd be bloody delighted. Happy fat cake-appreciating person here!

Hello. I’m intrigued as to why you wouldn’t eat a slice of shop bought cake from family. Not being snarky. I’m genuinely just nosey.

Yeah I wouldn't call it crime of the century, I can see you only had good intentions but people can be funny about food generally and 'leftovers' specifically. My MIL for one, she has this real issue (and unfortunately she's infected her kids I.e. my DH and his siblings with the same attitude) that it's wrong/bad, almost repulsive/unhygienic to eat even properly stored and perfectly good food the next day after it's been cooked/opened. That was fine so long as it only really applied in her house and didn't affect anyone else (I would definitely have known not to take even an untouched half of a birthday cake to her!) but she's now also developed a bit of a bugbear about food going to waste but without altering her habits, so she'll cook or buy loads of food for a family meal, there will inevitably be leftovers but she won't allow any of it into her fridge and will try and foist it onto her DILs/SILs as we're leaving saying 'you're OK with eating leftovers and we're not so take this or it'll go to waste' - I have to admit to sometimes finding it a bit irritating, either the food is perfectly good in which case eat it yourself, or it's not good in which case what makes you think I'll act as your human waste disposal unit? Particularly so if I'm trying to diet/eat healthily, and what she's trying to make me take is cakes or sweets, not that they weren't nice but I try to avoid having those things in my house in the first place, or have only a very carefully chosen small quantity that's exactly what I want and no more (as like many people I've got no discipline around large portions of delicious things!). People might think that I always am happy to accept cake because I always have it around when there are visitors but actually I only ever buy/make cake when I know there are visitors coming. Not that I make a huge deal about that of course to their faces so accept people might not get that, but possibly OP's in laws are not dissimilar and actually have a careful balance in their cake ecosystem/ supply and demand economy which the arrival of unexpected extra cake throws off completely?

But either way, even if someone (MIL) does annoy me with her food habits then I am still able to be polite/nice about it and either accept the food with a good grace and deal with it at home or politely decline without taking it as a horrible insult or something, it's more on the lines of minor irritation so definitely not something there should be any kind of drama or falling out over on either side!

I think it is the law to wrap a slice of cake in a serviette for people who weren’t there. It certainly always was in my house.