AIBU to refuse my daughter a debit card for school trips?

[Pinkflamingo98]

Daughter has 3 school trips next week, she apparently got told that the places she will be going are card only and has asked if she can take one of our debit cards. Both me and her dad are very reluctant to do so, we have said we will give her a decent packed lunch with some goodies and a few “nice drinks” but she is dead set on wanting our card. Are we being unreasonable for sticking to saying no and not sending her with any money?
we can’t get her a card as it is far too late for us to be able to set her up one

How old is she?

It’s probably about wanting to fit in with everyone. Kids don’t like to be the odd one out. I’d give it to her on this occasion - or just add it to her phone so she can tap it.

More and more places are going cashless so look into getting a kids bank account with card she can use in future.

Give her one of your cards. Empty the account and leave whatever £10 or £20 on it, would that work? As long as you dont have an overdraft facility would be ok? I suppose it depends how old she is?
She definitely needs a kids account with a debit card

Just add your card to her phone wallet and only have a certain amount in the account so she can’t overspend.

My 10 and 14 year old both have their own bank cards I don’t see the issue personally. Because your short on time if you wanted to you could open an online bank account such a revelout or starling and they give you a virtual card before the actual card arrives which can be used for Apple Pay etc on their mobile

Or she can just have her packed lunch and snacks and be fine with it.

I seriously don’t understand why people in the comments would go to such lengths to pander. It’s not necessary.

1. how old is she?
2. What does she need to pay for on the trip?

You haven’t said why you’re reluctant. As PP have said there are ways to limit the spend either through the funds in the account or daily transactions limit. I think you’re being miserly. I don’t shower my kids with consumerism or junk food but I wouldn’t want them to be the odd one out who can’t buy an ice cream on a school trip.

Give her the card. Aldi best to open a Monzo account for her so she has her own card?

Meant also not Aldi 😂

If places are card only, well then I’d try to set her up with a card. You can do it on revolut quickly and put a virtual card on her phone.

I’d be reluctant to give her my own card. But i would if it came down to it. It’s not pandering to her, it’s just that it is card only and I wouldn’t want to see her not being able to buy something she needed or be the only one not getting an ice cream. I would be worried it would make her a bit miserable.

My son’s Monzo arrived overnight. Apply today and you’ll have it on Tuesday. Why are you making it so difficult for her?
alternatively get notifications on your debit card, put a small daily limit on and freeze the card immediately on your app if you see something suspicious. Tell her how much she is allowed to spend (eg £5 per trip).

Can you get and load a travel card with £? The post office certainly used to do one.

I wouldn't accommodate this. I only have one current account and wouldn't be giving any child of any age full access to that. Sorry not sorry.

She should have own account and card surely

If she has 3 school trips then I assume this is a secondary school activities week and it willbe places with gift shops. I think kids of secondary age do need their own card.

How old is she? I switched bank accounts when I was 12 because I wanted one with a debit card and that was back in the dark ages before card only was a frequent occurrence. I sort of feel like nowadays you do need to make sure your kids have access to a card, though I agree I wouldn't be a fan of giving them my debit card at all, and it may well be too late to sort it out for these trips - but I think you need to for the future.

If you haven't felt it appropriate to give her her own account with debit card to now, then I definitely don't think it is appropriate to give her your card now.

Can you ask best friends mum to stick an extra £20 onto her DCs card?

Children's cards can't go overdrawn, adult cards can.

Monzo. The account is linked to parents account. You can set up notifications for any payments. There’s also the function to turn off cash withdrawals and set daily spending limits. You can also freeze the card at any time in the app.

Hoe old is she, I would expect most over 10s to have their own debit card, if not younger.

I understand not wanting to give her yours but use this as a trigger to get her own as this will arise more often.

can you get one on phone for the trip?

You can set up.a Revolut <18 account on her phone with no waiting period as there's no physical card, and only give her the exact amount of credit that you'd want her to be able to use

You can set up a monzo account and add this to her phone.

Yabu to send her on a trip without access to money.

My DD is 12 and has been on a couple of trips where it’s cash only. One involved tube travel so she needed my card or an Oyster card. Luckily we sorted her both as they started at a station that didn’t accept the Oyster card. 🙄 She has my barely used debit card linked to her Apple Pay with ~£30 on it. She is told her limit for what she is allowed to spend on the day with the exception of emergencies.

Of course you don’t just give her your debit card to use, that’s just utterly ridiculous. I can’t believe any parent here really thnks it’s a good idea despite all the superior comments. Give her plenty of lunch options (as you suggested) or look into one of those cards that you can load with appropriate sum of money. Ignore the know-alls here.

Yabu. It’s easy to set up as others have said.

Just set up Chase or Monzo for her, she will have a virtual card initially
Load the card, zero overdraft
Why are you being so wierd about it?
She is learning independence
It would be awful for her if she cant join her friends in getting an ice cream etc