AIBU to refuse my daughter a debit card for school trips?

[Pinkflamingo98]

Daughter has 3 school trips next week, she apparently got told that the places she will be going are card only and has asked if she can take one of our debit cards. Both me and her dad are very reluctant to do so, we have said we will give her a decent packed lunch with some goodies and a few “nice drinks” but she is dead set on wanting our card. Are we being unreasonable for sticking to saying no and not sending her with any money?
we can’t get her a card as it is far too late for us to be able to set her up one

Yeah I'm really surprised by some of these comments, who has these multiple accounts that are impossible to go overdrawn on?! I haven't had an account that wont let you go overdrawn since my junior saver.

This is sensible advice

I set up a Monzo account in my name and gave my DS the card (and set it up on his phone). He used it for school lunches, trips, haircuts, etc. I got a notification when he bought something so I was able to keep tabs on the spending. He was very good with it - didn’t abuse it and he would message me if he wanted to use it to buy clothes or ‘bigger’ purchases.

All of my cards would decline a payment if I didn’t have the funds. 🤨 The exception is that they will allow a direct debit payment as long as I clear the overdraft by 2pm.

Many people do. You're putting yourself in a vulnerable position only having one account, loads of things could go wrong meaning you have no access to money for several days.

There's several free options where the OP could open an age appropriate account for her DD and instantly add the card to her phone. Given that many places are now cashless, I'm surprised she hasn't done this already.

Plus none of the online banks like Starling, Chase etc allow even adult accounts to go overdrawn unless you apply for an overdraft, the balance is checked in real time and the transaction declined.

You could open her own Monzo account and have it on her phone by today. How old is your DD?

Excellent idea!

But age is also relevant.

The missing information is how old she is. For next week I’d ask her best friend to put some extra money on hers and I’d set up a debit card for her today to avoid this in future. My kids got Hyperjar cards at 9. Super easy to manage.

My youngest, now 16 has had a Nationwide account for a while now

The banking app is on my phone, he's away at the moment so I can make sure he has enough money if he ends up spending more than we thought.

At this late stage yanbu, but my 12yo has her own debit card. It's a child account so I get notified when she spends, and it cannot go overdrawn. I top it up for her savings account that's in my name when needed.

You can easily set her up her own card (which she should have anyway).

I find it hard to believe that she got told this information and it wasn't made clear to you on the letters regarding each trip. If the locations for all 3 trips truly were card only then it would have been made clear in advance by the school.

I would imagine it would be pretty easy to clarify this by checking online and suspect you will find she's being economical with the truth, a sign she probably isn't ready for a debit card

I can only limit the amount per contactless transaction on my card, and I have a £2,000 approved overdraft that would cost me to empty to “empty” the account (and even then I’m pretty sure it just puts me into a more expensive unapproved overdraft). Also cards aren’t meant to be shared, they’re for the person named on it and I wouldn’t be willing to breach my banks T&Cs.

That said, I would’ve got my child their own account as soon as they were old enough so that they had their own card once they were mature enough to have a debit card anyway, but OP has said that’s not viable here.

But she won’t even be able to buy an icecream. My GC had Go Henry cards from quite a young age and I used to give my DC my debit card when they needed clothes and went shopping

You can’t give her your bank card, even if you transfer out all the money bar £20.
The best option in the short term is to order a Post Office travel money card and load with sterling. It states delivery within 2-3 days. How old is she? It may be worth considering getting a spending account for her, card payment/ contactless/ apple-pay are the way forward and it’s best she learns how to use them. I’ve had one for my DD from age 10. We use Rooster but there is Monzo & GoHenry plus others too.

There is no way on earth that I would give my child my debit card. I wouldn’t even give it to my DH to go and pay for something. It’s my card in my name for my use.
As others have said you can get an account sorted online pretty quickly and easily.

it is the norm. I must be very trusting as dd has mine on her phone. Actually quite useful if my phone dies and we’re out. She hasn’t bought more than a drink and a packet of crisps on it yet.

Could you get a £25 visa gift card from the supermarket?

I would set her up a Monzo card which she can use on her phone. It’s quick and easy to do and you get a notification for every transaction made.

Every financial card for me and DH is joint, bank accounts, credit cards have each other as additional car d holders. It makes no difference if he taps with mine or his card.

Worked for us for 40 years, I find this attitude a bit off.

None of my accounts will approve a payment iffunds are not available, that’s more normal than not. What kind of account lets you keep spending money that you don’t have?

I feel like I've woken up in the twilight zone. I thought you couldn't let anyone else use your bank cards.

Sorry op you’re missing key info like how old she is, what kind of trips they are and therefore what would she actually need money for.

No, I wouldn't have ever given my daughter my debit card. But is there a reason why she doesn't have her own account and card? How old is she?

DS is 7 and has his own debit card, I’m amazed there are still children who don’t. As others have said though OP, there are a number of options (Monzo, Revolut etc) that would give her immediate access to a virtual card than she can add to her Apple Wallet, or whatever the Android equivalent is.