AIBU to refuse my daughter a debit card for school trips?

[Pinkflamingo98]

Daughter has 3 school trips next week, she apparently got told that the places she will be going are card only and has asked if she can take one of our debit cards. Both me and her dad are very reluctant to do so, we have said we will give her a decent packed lunch with some goodies and a few “nice drinks” but she is dead set on wanting our card. Are we being unreasonable for sticking to saying no and not sending her with any money?
we can’t get her a card as it is far too late for us to be able to set her up one

Age is relevant here,, and why she doesn't have a bank card of her own. And why school haven't communicated the places are card only - is that actually correct information?

We once took a 7 year old on a trip to a "card only" venue. Her dad had given her his card and I spent all day stopping her from buying £££ things (including a £600 6ft tall mascot toy) does she have the money sense (or a grown up with her) to not max out your card? She was also desperate to tell everyone she met the pin.

Glad you said that, I'm thinking that too.
YANBU to not let your daughter use your cards.
YABU for not just getting on with sorting out a Monza card for her and putting some money on it.

No I wouldn't hand over my card but if she is secondary age I would have ensured I had set her up with one for this reason.

Even at primary school in the last few years kids were allowed to take £5 spending money (cash).

If this is activities week in secondary school then I expect a lot of friends will have cards to buy things and depending on level of independence they will be going off in groups, so she will be left out if her friends all go and buy food and she is sat with her packed lunch.

You can’t. It’s a violation of your contract with the bank. But on Mumsnet apparently everyone does.
Probably works fine until something goes wrong 🤷‍♀️

A joint account is in both of your names so you should both have a card. We have sole accounts so I would not use his card and likewise he wouldn’t use mine. It’s worked for us for 30 years, so not quite as long as you but as we’re well into our 50s and we’re thinking about our mortality a bit more we have talked about adding each other onto our accounts. That said it would effectively be in name only as neither of us would want a card for each other’s accounts. It would solely be for the purposes of ease should one of us die or become incapacitated. It’s not an attitude, it’s just what works for us.

YBU to not equip your child with this. There are so many options - child accounts and specific supplementary cards on your own account. There are also prepaid MasterCard gift cards which essentially act like a debit card.

Do not just bung her your card - that violates T&Cs and leaves you exposed to risks vs fraud etc.

That said if you’re happier giving her a packed lunch to manage costs/diet whatever then do … but still sort her out with a card so she can get a small treat or souvenir to not be left out.

My DCs had a card on their own accounts from age 11 over 10 years ago.
I’d be getting her own card pronto as it may arrive quickly or use on her phone (if she has one).
Her age is a big factor.

Who’s going to know? It’s not like shops ask for signatures anymore, it’s all contactless or chip and pin.

As others have said, set her up with her own card, but also for the future, you can open your own Starling account and add a 'helping out' card. The 'helping out' function is a separate space within your account, that you preload with a limited amount and you can then lend the card to whomever you want and spending is limited to the preloaded amount. This is also very useful e.g. for sending dc to the shops (or to the bar when they reach that age 🫣)

Poor kid! Make it easy for her. She doesn’t need to lug around food and drinks all day.

How old is she? You can get those debit cards especially for kids, Go Henry that basically are prepaid cards and designed to teach them how to use/manage money, but there’s no risk of overspending. You also have full access and control as the parent.

Some of the high street banks offer under 16s debit cards, too. I think, depending on her age, it’s a good opportunity to teach her a bit of financial independence and the value of things.

Yes this. Id personally never give my card to my child ( or anyone else). But i would look at alternatives such as a pre paid card.

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I wouldn't give my own card, but I'd set up a card for her. Monzo is very good.

Age makes a difference here. I’d expect her to be trustworthy and understand about spending someone else’s money. If dc has no concept of money and cost, then it’s a problem but you should have educated her. Is she trustworthy or not?

Exactly this. You don’t need to wait for the physical card, OP. I use Apple Pay for everything and don’t even know the last time I used my actual bank card.

I keep saying that I’m going to start using cash more (never have any on me) and not rely on Apple Pay so much, but it’s just the way the world is going and it’s so much easier to use.

Child Monzo or Revolut card. My 12 year old dd has one. Linked to my own Monzo account. It's how I give her pocket money now. Shes off to Disney Paris on a school trip, later this year and will be taking that for spending money. Its great, so easy to transfer money on the app.

When you say next week do you mean week commencing tomorrow 13th or week commencing 20th.

If its from 20th then you will have time to setup her own monzo account (you will need to setup your own first). Its a great kids bank service, they get their own app, bank card, picket money can be auromated and no fees for parents. And monzo is super efficient to setup, id expect youd have yours and hers card after a few days.

I think other digital banks like starling and revolut do kids accounts too but Im not sure, I just know monzo kids account works well.

If its this week, i think you can ask the post office for a pre paid debit card, although im not sure of fees.

So either way fixable scenario for you. I give debit cards in last year of primary school, in preparation for high school.

Im not sure about apple pay but google wallet doesnt allow debit cards to be added until age 13 x

Seeing as everyone is suggesting using parents debit cards, I thought we were ignoring legalities and T&Cs, fraud risk etc.

I didnt think you're allowed to use other people's debit cards. Has that changed?

Wow people are trusting! No fucking way would I do this. Would you also give out your PIN in case the tap and go thing doesn’t work? I’m pretty sure the advice from the bank is that nobody apart from the named person can use the card. All this so that a child gets her own way and can potentially buy an ice cream. I’m guessing she’s pretty young as well if she doesn’t already have a bank account and card.

And I have £1000 overdraft facilities on both my current accounts as does DP. So just no.

How old is she? Mine had their own cards you could load money onto at primary school for their weekly pocket money. This was 10 years ago IIRC. They had Nimbl then DD2 had Starling Kite for a bit.