AIBU to refuse my daughter a debit card for school trips?

[Pinkflamingo98]

Daughter has 3 school trips next week, she apparently got told that the places she will be going are card only and has asked if she can take one of our debit cards. Both me and her dad are very reluctant to do so, we have said we will give her a decent packed lunch with some goodies and a few “nice drinks” but she is dead set on wanting our card. Are we being unreasonable for sticking to saying no and not sending her with any money?
we can’t get her a card as it is far too late for us to be able to set her up one

This is common, many places do not accept cash. I would make this happen for my child.

No I am fairly certain it has not. But I guess there have always been people who do this, eg all the “I’m using daddy’s credit card” lines in films.

Obviously the age is relevant here - if she's 6 or 7 that'd be a no, if she's 13 or 14 the OP is being ridiculous.

My kids have had a nimbl card for pocket money since they were about 10. I think it helps with their independence and also managing money- plus it’s fun for them
to buy something small and gives me a bit of security that if necessary they could get themselves home. Relatives can also transfer money to their accounts for birthday/ Christmas.

If there’s not time to sort this out, yes I would lend a debit card this time but have a strict spending limit.

Ridiculous to not hand over her own debit card to a teenager? My god.

Who cares about breaching a contract that you have signed because no one might find out?

I suspect the same posters would be the ones sticking the boot in if the OP came on here to say she'd given her child the card and they had spent excessively.

It must be secondary school challenge week. Primary schools don’t have trips in a row like this.
my DDs had go Henry’s and now they have starling accounts. Kite from starling is really good. You can’t just send cash now no guarantee they will accept it!

mind you when my DDs went on ymca trips it was theme parks and water parks and I think I said no because they would buy extortionate slushies and nothing productive so op I see your point.

I think it’s fine if you don’t want to give her your card but it’s a bit short sighted in this day an age to not have one of her own. You need to get something sorted for her asap. In the meantime if she has a phone I’d be getting her an online instantly.

If you really can’t source one in time or are dead set against it for some reason can you speak to one of her friends parents and ask them if their child can purchase your DD drinks / ice creams and you reimburse them at the end of the day?

Actually, ridiculous for that teenager not to have her own debit card.

This is the crucial missing information!

The post office do prepaid cards you can buy over the counter.

While I wouldn't give my son my own card, I would set up an account with an instant virtual card and put that on her phone, with whatever amount you deem appropriate.
She just wants to fit in with her friends and if they are getting a burger/ice cream/something in the gift shop, it would be a shame for her to miss out.

My son has just finished Y7 and has his own bank card. We keep his savings separate so we can control what he can spend. He took his card to Blackpool on a school trip the other week and it was totally fine. It helps to teach them independence.

Completely agree with this. I’d be reluctant to give her my card but there are several options to get her one quickly.

(Is she generally pretty sensible? DD’s friend ‘treated’ all of her friends to a theme park fast-track ticket when she took her mum’s card in a similar situation. 😂)

Yeah that’s another issue which is why I wonder if this girl might be 12 rather than a teen (I didn’t have a debit card when I was 12 but I did get one at 14). I think teens should have a payment card. However, I don’t think it’s ridiculous for a parent to not want to hand over their own card (which technically can only be used by them) to a child going on a school trip. In that scenario the child will have to accept that she takes a packed lunch.

Also three different cashless places? I don’t think I’ve ever even been to one in the UK.

There should be a law on here that says you don't start a thread without stating the age of the child concerned.

I think kids need a card these days. My 11 year old has a NatWest Rooster card.

I’d get something set up on her phone so she has it if she needs it.

No way would I have given ds access to my debit card. He had his own as soon as he was old enough. Do you have time to get her a card before she goes, I would make that a priority.

It's fine if it's a joint account but if you give someone else your card to use and then there is fraud you would not be covered by the bank as you have breached their T's & C's. It is classed as misuse of facilities

Problem solved. Do this. And any people handing out their own cards to their children, do this too.

Her age and where she's going are key here. But I don't see the problem in being the only one without a debit card. She can sell not being allowed to take her parent's debit card on a school trip so she can buy an ice cream as being the poor mistreated one if it helps , kids love that almost as much as fitting in.

No Apple Pay on Monzo until 13+. Other than that, I recommend it.

DS had his own revolut preloaded card for this purpose which can't go overdrawn. It shows purchases to me and I can add more if needed.

I certainly wouldn't be giving him my card 😂

Age is the issue here. We got our son a card when he started secondary.

That's 12 in Ireland